Monday, January 2, 2012

2011...thank you~

     The past year has brought so many gifts and wonderful opportunities...I've heard so many people, more or less read so many facebook posts ans tweets shitting on 2011. I can understand horrible things happening in a year and creating a dark cloud to shade over the good things, but can an entire year really be awful? Not trying to discredit others for their experiences or maybe unfortunate disrespects...I guess I'm more so hoping that no one actually had a full-fledged horrible year. A minuscule amount of the world deserves complete darkness.

     Anyways~ over the past year, I once again advocated for myself and found a new position, searching for a greater amount of respect. Living all over Seoul, I wandered a lot...allowed myself to create relationships with people. I traveled to other countries, reconnected with old loved ones, got on with a magazine, rediscovered appreciation for photography and went ahead to indulge myself with it, got published, got reconnected with art (and mama still gots it). I stopped silencing myself...the inner and ever deeper parts. I dance once everyday...without fear of witnesses, have made permanent memories, better understanding this body of mine...realized what and what my heart is feeling for. I'm standing my ground, using my voice...reflecting, did I do a lot, did I see/create/make a lot...yes, yes I did.

This past vacation was spent with so many people I love heart swells with warmth when I think of them...hear of them, am reminded by them. Starting with my immediate family, my mother, father, brother, and Binger are those I lounge heals thrown on, make up swiped across my eyes..pure, vulnerable, accepted, genuine comfort.

Then the Dwyers, my second and oldest family. Nichole, my longest best friend is getting married next year, and this break I got to play my bridesmaid parts...I spent a whole day getting fitted, hearing and talking about the plans and ideas...I can't believe my bestie is continuing her life with someone she loves...I'm so happy for her...

I drove up to B-town and kicked it with my BQ crew. My backbone, spine, strength...they know how much they mean to me...but not completely so. They stood beside and by me, hands clutched in the hardest and most challenging times of my life...they moved my legs when I couldn't walk...helped me breathe when my lungs felt empty...inspired me, kept me going...the love I have for them can't be strewn into any worthy words.

I kicked it with someone I care greatly if nothing changed, I laughed as if my body never forgot how to, I smiled genuinely, again no words, the thoughts I held onto and silenced to make times "easier" surged back...reminding me that the heart, the mind, the soul doesn't forget and life screams at you... Then I hung out with a dear friend that has taken control of her life and achieved so much. My friends are doing such amazing things and the pride I hold for them can't be's a heated, deep, alto that wells in my sternum...a symphatic wellness.

My last night of 2011 (technically on a  flight back to Seoul but for purposes) was spent with the same crew I kicked it with LAST time I was about to peace to Seoulside. I'll blog do a post with some of those resto/drink pics...but with minimal words I'll simply say~ there's no other way I would have wanted to spend my last night.
This heart of mine is swelling with love, hope, excitement, and eagerness...I have a strong inkling that 2012 will bring about a lot of pleasures, joys, happiness...

2011, you were great,'ll compete to be even greater.

veganbeatin' wolf (photo taken by VeganBeats)

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