Friday, December 31, 2010

I build the bricks..

My vacation is at the midpoint, halfway over...
What have I done?
Not as much as I physically wish I had done...but not a complete waste...

          I've explored my bus routes, and have created to do's...essentially bus stops full of stores, dingy corners, and steaming aromas....
I've wandered, but mostly done 새희 time, along with a lot of working. An effective, and productive break.
          I've edited and read over 30 essays, snuggled a ton with the kids (my kids, Hamlet and 고구마), caught up on sleep and have done a lot of thinking. Planned thinking, organized head time. I feel like I may be in a slightly clearer space, I have allowed and embraced the internalizations as opposed to them building up and overwhelming whatever it is I am doing or may be involved in. I don't have to "rebalance" myself in order to be...pleasant in school, or on point. There's no obligation to wake up and do anything, not that I welcome laziness...or what I am allowing myself to waste my days and hours...
As opposed to the constant dissociation, or mental ignorance, there's no explosion and overwhelming pressure of ideas and frustrations. This week has so far, allowed me to fully explore my parts. Instead of rushing myself to get out of sadness or happiness, I am giving pardon to really feeling them out.
          My sleep patterns have always been horrible, and are more skewed. I make an ardent effort and mental goal to go to sleep early, get a full nights rest, but I promise myself that every night, and it rolls around to 5am and I'm still wide awake.
          A general haze exists throughout my day and more so at night. I am aware in many ways of everything that I am doing, but a concept of time barely connects to me. I used to be obsessively punctual, extremely detailed...planned myself by the second, Korea time. I say I will be somewhere in an hour, turns to 2, "in a bit" is now an hour...being late used to drive me up a wall. So anal, so rigid. I remember gritting my teeth till my gums bled when I was late, getting my stomach so knotted up if I was close to being late...In many ways it's good that I am not so hard on myself about this, but I cannto deny that I detest how my punctuality is slipping. It's unprofessional, irresponsible, me it is a direct reflection of laziness, sloppiness, "letting myself go."
          I've become more sloth-like, slower, softer..this makes me insanely uncomfortable. I need to get more organized. I am very much thankful for this vacation, but my manager and stict-shit parts are very displeased with the "gentle-ness" I have granted myself. This relaxation has taken a toll on my body, mentally it's in a better place, in terms of allowing emotions to exist, but there's the whole mental slashing, and the physical effects.
photo taken by VeganBeats

          For many reasons, being in my head is both beneficial and toxic...I know I am a strong woman, powerful and driven...and those qualities are ones I am proud of, but also wish would tone down a bit. As cliche as it is, the self being the worst enemy is true...Those self-critical parts are the ones that easily convince all my other parts that I should stay in, not be social, not be seen. They drive and support the self-conscious parts, the insecure parts. A tailspin, whirlwind, plunging effect...I've explored the patterns and patterns my parts explore...
          Before meeting with people, crew or family...I go through all of these parts. A meek and very true excuse for why I am no longer punctual. I have to go through this entire process in order to be balanced again.
          Which leads to the sensitivity takes a while for me to get balanced again, so other's self-conscious/negative/critical expressions easily trigger things. I wish I could dissociate from them (the statements), but I'm only able to dissociate from the feelings in my own self, the statements made by others come too quickly, I can't prepare to ignore them, or let them slide. I can feel very secure and grounded, but it is only a feeling. I need to not speed through the whole grounding process, I must learn how to effectively and efficiently ground myself, secure the steadiness. I put pressure on myself and feel obligated to rush, and it doesn't always happen, but once in a while, the quickness of thise allows for a higher potential of getting into my head a bit too much and getting off-kiltered. Another piece of laziness.
"Be healthily selfish. Take care of the self. Do what is best and necessary for you." I voice these often to those I love and care for, but never do I allow myself to take this advice, or listen to these I love or care for myself. I say yes, I say I do, but do I actually.
I'm going off...I need my camera, I need to take pictures, and I need to get out of my house.

I am aware of what I "need" to's the letting myself do them that is a series of obstacles. The only barrier in front of me is the one I keep adding bricks to.


Monday, December 27, 2010

Christmas and well....

What a Christmas here...was able to hang out with family, which was wonderful...and...a lot of friend time...much needed, much appreciated...
Apologies, my camera is taking a major break so the lack of fault. ㅜ_ㅜ

Christmas eve started with...stress. But a decent couple cups full of anticipation!
Christmas party at my school...and I organized the whole thing. Tanslation, super chill day with my students involving free flowing conversation, games, crafts, games, joking around, and making presents, we were elves ^^*~
Background info, parents don't get presents on Christmas, they don't get thanked, they don't really get acknowledged for the immense spoiling they do. So, I planned these "secret projects" with all my kids...with Kindy A we decided to all write a book together, where we're the main characters! We also illustrated the entire book...the concept of "We're the artists!" got them really excited. We also used all the words from the semester and labled everything (this way the parents see that they'r ekids are learning!) and with everyone we made Calendars. All the kids illustrated key holidays and memories to represent each month, and they all labled important dates. Writing skills and month association: check! The kidsa were also pretty excited about having a secret from their parents...
We spent a lot of the day goofing around, practicing how we think their parents will react to getting a suprise present!
The reason it was stressful is because I had all the kids all day, no breaks, and no assistance. But whatever...I thoroughly enjoyed juct kicking it with my kids.

Then afternoon classes was more Christmas themed things...more free conversations and role playing. I think this is FAR more valuable in terms of learning any language, challenging yourself with communications. Read out of a book or butcher the language talking about things that you are interested in?
Didn't get out til super late...then headed home, wrapped presents super fast...then 강남 to Woodstock for a Disco party.
Perfect Christmas eve...I was getting a bit bummed, I miss Alex so much (baby brother!) and this is the first year we didn't have our silly tradition...whine!!
I didn't even get to bake cookies, or make edibles for people..I know doesn't sound that important but I truly love spending days in the kitchen making gifts, delicious noms for people...being artistic with food...I miss it really. Anyways, back to it. At the disco party, the whole crew was there...and everyone was merry. A kiss sad but I'm glad we were together. Lots of beer, loads of wine, many mix drinks flowing and some classic Disco...then some Irish Christmas music...and lots of singing.
There were moments of bliss, where it felt like Christmas...arm in arm we all yodeled music, laughing,

Then after, Jaxs, Mieon, and I went to Jaxs' place and she and I exchanged gifts. Jaxs is ...I can't even get into it...there will be a Jaxs post...
She got me a converse sneaker phone charm (!!!), a mirror phone charm, a super cute bag (Of happiness...we can anywhere you want), and a SHINee calendar!!!!
We then giggled, drunkinly watched Kpop videas, chatted, then sister, Jaxs, I love love love you^^*!~
Christmas morning happened, and I woke up early to meet up with Emo and her husband! We were scheduled to go skiing but instead went to Dragon Hill spa,  a 찜질봉!!! And my first one!! 찜질봉 are spas/saunas/resorts where you spend about 5,000 to 12,000 Won (depending where you go and what time you go) to take care of yourself. Salt rooms, coal rooms, steam, rooms, everything...I have been wanting to go for so long...and was soaking this in. Emo and I explored every room and...took rest at a massive chair that massaged your entire body...then we went to ceramic cupping. We got massaged and taken care of for 40 minutes...30,000W. Ceramic cupping is a process where heat froma  flame is used to suction out the toxin and blood of the skin. The benefits include improving circulation, improving headaches, speeding up metabolism, stimulating the digestive system,releasing toxis, activating the lymphatic system, and removing blockages in the colon. A side effect though, I have massive circular bruises all over my body!!

Anyways, I do feel better and cleaner...chyea. After Dragon Hill, my emo and I went to the sauna...and as saunas are here..strippes down and submerged out tired bodies into salt baths, warm aromatic waters...ahh. The naked thing got me a bit nervous, but I can't lie, I love nudity! Being amongst all those beautiful female bodies I had such a huge appreciation for women (can my appreciation grow more?!!). Nudity is something that is overwhelming if you are solely nude...but when your in a massive room full of naked people, the fact that there's nothing covering your body slips your mind...

After Dragon hill, met with my sumcheon, and my halmunio and harabagi..went to a tofu villiage restaraunt then went to my halmuni and harabagi's house. We celebrated Christine's brthday, then her and I danced to some Kpop...then Alan's Christmas party!

Things kept passing through my thoughts...a year ago...아직도 내가 흐느껴 울기
was missing Alex, the family back home, the other family back home (Bearquarium)...getting bummed, but promised to go out, and I did want to see the crew.
It was wonderful, lots of...shenanigans, "Happy Christmas's", laughing, dancing, catching up..and a competitive game of Yankee Swap! Lots of people got iced, lots of random gifts...
Then home...fellow Veg Head and I, George started trucking it back to the subway to try and get home before the last train. Biting frigid, bus never showed, and we missed the train. Ended up cabbing it home, had a wonderful cabby...snuggled into my pajamas, gather Hamlet and 고구마 and we watched some kpop, and fell asleep.

A good Christmas...
I'm so thankful for the friends I have here, the family I spent so much time with, the new experiences, the fun times...and the comfort and support through the sad times...

Getting into my head, a place I always fall into, no matter all the energy I put into being out of it, I'm in it. Add feeling uncomfortable, a bit off set, and little homesick...and alcohol, teary 새희 was inevitable. Thank you Caggy, Mieon, and Jaxs...truly.
Just thinking about last year, >_<# last year. A different place, mentally, emotional, and truly physically...
I've put so much energy into dissociating from how I really feel about/ every extension of my emotions I have put nearly all my energy into covering them up, hiding them, ignoring them..and like worms they keep wriggling their way out of the ground, screaming for light, for be seen, addressed, heard. I can't allow that, not yet...I don't know when. It has influenced and continues to influence so dissociating clearly hasn't been very effective...but what can I do? If I allow the smallest bit to seep through, it will explode, further overwhelm me. A dam with a crack, the pressure will break the dam.

The presence is a constant and continuous reminder that I have yet to address, yet to acknowledge the pain, support, love, concern, care...everything in that regard. A simple message of "I'm here, I exist" is enough to halt my focus, cause and create complete disarray, and welcome a cascading stream of tears.

Dissociating is not do I portion these all out in tolerable amounts, moderation is not one of my strengths. It's always extremes, too little, too much...or nothing. Where's the gray area? What is a gray area?

Call to me first, make this easier...where's the easy button? Staples you lie...


Friday, December 24, 2010


It hit me the other night, oddly enough while watching "The Last of the Mohicans" (Daniel Day-Lewis) that it's Christmas...and this is my first one without my brother, mother, father, etc....I'm not even near my "homeland."
I actually started to get a bit sad, a lttle homesick perhaps...I will miss out on the traditions, the awkwardness, the stifled excitment of opening gifts...I'm going to miss all of it this year. It will not be as family oriented and monumental ad the past couple years.
Last year, I drove home, eager and awaiting Christmas...then China. Last year was wonderful, I had a wonderful Christmas gift awaiting me, a journey to get some grounding again and see him....
This year I am on the same side of the world..but not the same.
Anyway...not as much gift purchasing, more lost as of what to buy then sure of what to get. My cousin I haven't seen in seven years, what to get her...what do you get  a Korean seven year old princess?
My emo and her family...they have everything. What to get that will not be offensive, or...embarassing.
Then there are the friends here...who do I buy gifts for, should I buy gifts....

I got a card from a student of mine today...and it brought me to tears. I was more than touched and...felt a bursting fondness, thankfulness, and overwhelming joy that brought on the love of Christmas.
Singing holiday songs in my head, I wandered through the school...eager to start my vacation...which has officially recently began.
Tonight, a disco Christmas party with the crew in 강남, tommorow a resort with Emo and family, then at night a 크리스마스 party...who knows what will become of this years holiday...

Or this vacation week...
start my missions, lose the excess weight, breathe fully, freely, and completely....

grounding myself again, rond 2....
a year ago I was in a different place...attempts to not allow those memories to become saddening ones....


Sunday, December 19, 2010


As the sun was rising, my eyes began to close...another morning spent as a night...
Saturday was a busy and wonderful a lot done, hung out with some beautiful Seouls...
At 7:30am I wandered over to the subway, a twenty minute biting walk that was...the most rewarding experience I've had in a while. I know it is only a walk, but it was quiet. It was lightly snowing, no one was on the streets...silence...peace, the sound of snowflakes nestling themselves on the external reminder to just let things nestle in my head in silence...don't allow the noises or the stresses to overwhelm the big picture, the overall realism.
I met up with Chloe at 강남총 station and we went to get our hair done. Our hair stylist actually does the hair for some celebrities and Chloe and I were joking about bumping into one of them....then in walks Hara from Kara...!
I was embarassed, I've seen her on tv, heard some of the songs but didn't know any of them and...well until now, now I know her name..>_<#
After hair, Chloe and I went to PaperGarden and got some coffee. Pricey but a really cute place. It's very clean, big lounegy chairs, fun looking menu. We didn't order anything, but they marked what was veggie friendly and such...I looked around at the people around me and their food looked very fresh and colorful.
After coffee we walked across the street to Le Alaska...whoa*!~ This place smelled wonderful and...yummy*!~
I got a vegan bread for a reasonable (but a bit steep) price....5,000\ for loaf of artisian sourdough/ciabatta was crunchy like sourdough, but airy like ciabatta...and hell I never eat bread or find vegan friendly over baked fresh bread...I'll drop the won!!
After checking little places out we went to a store street and did a lot of eye shopping...I had plans to meet up with Brian after to do Christmas shopping....(I haven't really started yet >_<#)

Brian and I met up and went to COEX, overwhelmed, then went to 남대문 market! Lots of wandering, checking places out and exploring...I was so tired after...We walked around for about 7 hours, plus carrying new purchases!!!
I got home and crashed for a bit...hours zipped by then I got that familiar feeling in my thighs and feet that screamed "GO OUT!! MOVE< SEE PEOPLE"
Ended up at 이태완 at a Irish Christmas party, mulled wine, my crew was there...did some dancing (as always) then shared a fun cab ride with some beautiful Seouls!

My cab ride involved my broken 한굴 and three stops. Marco, Caggy and Liam...then me. My cab driver was playing soem Irish music then some Queen and the Band...and we sang together home....
A good a good afternoon. I've been up for a couple hours now, doing my to continue doing just that....

week of..whaa

Another weekend....another week has passed me by and I have barely had time to register fully and completely everything that is...coexisting. Maybe not physically so, not so solid that I can grab it, touch it...but mentally call upon it with such confidence and set sights onto it...
The week has been a slew of fleeting emotions, exhausting thoughts, aggravation, It already turned into Thursday and I had plans to look forward to! Time with Amy*!~
After work I met up with Amy at Starbucks and we caught up over Americanos then zipped over to 노완 and chilled at a Hof, M.K met with us and we just kicked it. I really love these Seouls, they're wonderful and so much fun to hang out with! I miss Amy a lot...and can't wait for more adventures with her*!~


update on the weekend later...


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

all at once >_<#

An upbeat attitude is becoming more and more of a struggle to maintain or muster...things are getting sketchy, shifty, and sneaky. And I don't think it is just my manipulative parts working in high gear...though, I wish it was in many ways.
Not quite in a nightmare situation, more a series of potentially downward spiraling circumstances..>_<#
I love the kids I work with, and I love my coworkers...though most of them are leaving now...
Am I going to be stupid and the last one to peace out....
On top of that, there's the pressure from external sources to go "home"...the US, I don't wish to return, and the nit picking into my brain of what I should and shouldn't do is getting at me, I feel like thin hot needles are pricking at my skin and tiny strands of burning flesh are being yanked, regardless of my determination to ignore and dissociate from the statements, I'm hearing it.
Then there's this...상...why are you on my mind? Why am I caring, valuing...worrying, concerned, dwelling upon....
relation, it's all relative to past situations, old memories that I have worked so hard to stack items in front of, literally bury as deep as I can, and are throwing it all into clear site. Like a jet black dark tunnel, you had to dig a bit and let some light in, I wanted this darkness, I wanted to now see any of this stuff, and without my expecting you to, there's all this light cast.
My family is sick, some of them, and I've been growing more and more concerned, but still, dissociate from. Parts of me feel that the less attention I devote to things, the more, unreal they become...these parts are hopeful. You can never run away from things, especially if they are unfinished.

I've been trying so hard to dissociate and because of that...everything, Everything is running at me, I'm overwhelmed, and mustering this false smile is draining me. I haven't been the healthiest, or taking care or myself as much as I should be, I'm tired, exhausted, and want more rest than realistically possible, vacation from the mind or from life events, from thoughts, from everything going on....maybe if I tackled everything one at a time...but they're lining up, all in succession....


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

고구마 experimenting*!~....and the weekend closed up

A while ago I bought a bog of 고구마 so before it goes bad I've been able toexplore the world and possibilities of 고구마 (sweet potatoes.) And beat this, their GOLDEN sweet potatoes...nom*!~ (fat kid....)
So there's this popular and obscenely pricey snack/meal called 마탕. (sugar coated sweet potatoes) so of course....a mission this Vegan gal was sure to tackle...and trial one was a success....except the sugar crystallized a bit faster that I planned.
Hell I never eat sugar, so what was I to know about the science of it...

photo by VeganBeats
What you need:
*고구마 (sweet potatoes...peel them)
*black sesame seeds
*sugar (I used organic...>_< )

1. peel the potatoes, and cut them into one inch bite size chunks
2. while cutting the potatoes, heat up a big pot of oil...pour in too much oil...>_<#
3. when the oil is hot, put the potatoes in, let them fry for about 7 minutes, until they're golden brown on the outside but soft inside.
4. while the potatoes are frying, heat up another pan and put in a TBL of oil, let it heat up and pour in about 1-2 TBL of sugar...when the sugar starts to melt, simmer super SUPER low and swivel the pan around...DO NOT USE A SPOON OR ANYTHING TO MIX IT UP
4. when the potatoes are done frying, drain them on a paper towel then throw them in the syrup pan and stir it up
5. put it all on a plate and sprinkle on some sesame seeds...
6. enjoy^^*~
 This weekend I met up with some BEAUTIFUL Seouls and went shopping at Hyundai...WHOA, is thta place expensive...But I did find something I was willing to drop a few thousand Won on......
Seaweed chips!!*~*~*~
This stuff is AMAZING, it's baked and sweetened, and should I mention...Vegan*!~
ahhhh glory.....
I bought a couple varieties, but due to poor camera skills, here's a pic of two of the "chips" I got...
thick seaweed with rice crisps and peanuts!
photo taken by VeganBeats

lotus root chips^^*!~ I literally died when I tasted AND saw these....nom nom nom
photo taken by VeganBeats
 After a day of shopping and wandering around, I went out and met with the crew in 강남, we went to this Fire bar where they light everything on fire....drinks of course. Wasn't in drinking mood...but was down for adventure...and crew time. This past week has been more than stressful and I've been in this head of mine for...too many evenings in a row...
shots on fire*!~
photo taken by VeganBeats
 This bar had a great atmosphere, except they have extremely steep stairs going into and out of the bar...hazard...yes!
They're menus are very interesting, giant fold up matchboxes...but..just wrong signs...look~>
Anne Frank, I'm sure she loved her cocktails..."she lived in an attic!"
photo taken by VeganBeats
 Checking out new places is always appreciated...but everywhere I go is Gorilla music...out of head, back in it....>_<##
Anyways...I end this post with the Beautiful*!~
breathtaking Jaxs*!~
photo taken By VeganBeats

Friday, December 10, 2010

sweetness,비빔밥, 된장찌개 (with 고구마), and 콩나물국

Lots of cooking...and haven't been posting any of it...ㅜ_ㅜ all of the following I have made, except the first one!!
sweet pumpkin and sweet sweet potatote with raisins, pumpkin seeds, and banana chips! I got this at Lotte one cute, super pretty, 5,900W eeep
photo taken by VeganBeats
I had a ton of veggies lying around, screaming "새희 eat me!!" so I listened and made some 비빔면 which is basically 비빔밥 but with noodles instead.
photo taken by VeganBeats

자장면 you see noodles but at the bottom, below this mess are carrot noodles I made ^^*~
photo taken by VeganBeats
 I have a new produce place I go to, near my work, the nyung hyup (녕협) and I've made some kind of friendship with one of the guys there, he hooked me up with 콩나물! My intention was to make 콩나물비빔밥 but of course...all my sad veggies were wanting to participate this became a feast of 비빔밥, 된장찌개 (with 고구마), and 콩나물국!!
비빔밥, 된장찌개 (with 고구마), and 콩나물국
photo taken by VeganBeats


Thursday, December 9, 2010


Introducing  고구마 (Go Gu Ma) ~sweet potatoe*!~
beady eyes*!~
photo taken by VeganBeats
photo taken by VeganBeats
sleepy potatoe
photo taken by VeganBeats

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Another one passes by*!~

Last night began with my waking up from the first successful nap I've had in years! Snuggled a ton with Hamlet then passed out...when I did rise, showered and hustled over to 홍대 for Gordi's show! There was a Aids Research kind of fundraiser going on last night for World Aids Day- and my buddy, Gordi, from college was playing! I haven't seen him in so long so of course, it was wonderful to be with a familiar face and some warm VT energy*!~~

keyboard rocking
photo taken by VeganBeats
  The show was great, Gordi's set was about 45 minutes long, so too short!!! But really chill, got me dancing and very fun*!~
photo taken by VeganBeats
  After his set I met up with the rest of the crew and we wandered 홍대 a bit and ended up at Vinyl, a mini bar that serves bags!!!
cute...classy caprisons!
photo taken by VeganBeats
"Don't take a picture please" oooops
photo taken by VeganBeats

 After the pit stop, met up with Gordi and his crew again, wandered to 홍대 park and saw some breakdancing, then OI hookah bar....
{review of Vinyl and OI}

the rest of the night....more good Seouls*!~

Side note, feeling guilty because I was not in a very good mood...well not guilty. Guilt is a worthless emotion, it brings you and gets you no where.
     ~~I rather wish I wasn't in a space where all my parts were mutually collaborating and allowing negativity to overcome me. Not just negativity, sadness, general upset, anger, loss, worthlessness, etc etc etc. General "unhappy bringing-me-down" types of emotions...and the environment increased the loudness and presence of many of these parts.
     I enjoy my time with friends, but when I am in this space I feel a greater pressure to present a content and pleasant attitude, increasing my anxiety and ever internal pressure to be composed, appear alright...this swirls and shakes up everything that is going on in my mind and becomes so overwhelming and loud...dissociation. A state of being I call too often to and fall back on...I ignore the parts and avoid adressing them so that not to burden others but only to greater burden myself and greater harm my general mission and desire for happiness.
     The environment..(literally, 홍대) was just an stimulant to negativity, a reminder of stress...a general and complete increase in anxiety. The more I tried to remain composed, the more upset and tense I got a point of bitterness.
     I do not enjoy feeling these emotions, though I do find them necessary for self-understanding and further self-discovery, but I prefer to experience these bitter emotions in the privacy of my own company...the bitterness and anger seep out and voice their bare feelings onto others, my friends. I am human, I don't enjoy being too honest with others...there isn't that trust yet and there isn't the comfort. Not even within myself...
     The longer I stayed in 홍대 the more upset I found myself getting. While my friends were laughing and joking around, I was in my head (a place I can't ever get out of....) thinking and dissecting. I am thankful for being very present with my parts, and I know I have referred several times to dissociating...but I can only dissociate for some time until everything....everything takes over.
     I hear so much about napping, and sleeping, and relaxing....I try to do these things...and find it to be one of the hardest daily challenges...opportunities of silence and rest become intricate dissections of my parts and emotions and the focusing on the moments I try to say "I'm okay" about...

honesty with others, I am genuine, I am honest about so many things, but honesty about my parts and how this woman is doing~~T_T the beautiful Seouls I was with last me when I say I did enjoy my time with you---it's the time with me I wasn't enjoying....

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Discovering 서울. a night of sponteneity...

      The evenings of and weekends of doing the same routine things have become too expected and readily earlier this week while kicking it with the crew we threw out the idea to write a bunch of random places throughout Korea and pick one of thesenames out of a hat and devote a night to exploring that area. Last night was trial one of "Out of Hat Picking!"

     Met up with Brian, Jaxs, Stephanie, Patricia, James and some other people in 수유 and hit up a tiny corner noodle shop for some food and makali (sigh)....
I got the 비빔극수, which is spicey noodles, some veggies and a spicey sauce made of gochujang...
cucumber and 김!!! love love love
photo taken by VeganBeats
 The woman owning the place was so kind and made a lot of the stuff there, except the pickled turnip. She motioned to me making the 김치 herself, super good stuff too. There was no fish or shrimp in it either, the owner's friend spoke English and helped translated some of my concerns...
the noodle shop sign!!
photo taken by VeganBeats
 I will definately go here again, the place was small and cozy and intimate! They let us bring in makali and other stuff and were so generous with providing lots of yummy 김치!!

After nomming we ran over to Raccoon bar, and it was really cute. The bar was small and intimate and it was cozy in there...
It was so cold outside...cozy bar with sweet music and this adorable sign...
"For humans only"
photo taken by VeganBeats
 After playing in 수유 for a bit we did the hat picking!!

JAMSIL! (참실) so onto the subway and travelling for adventure....
photo taken by VeganBeats
 Jaxs looks so bored all the way on the other side of the car...)O:
photo taken by VeganBeats
 IT was freezing outside...but we met up with some more wonderful Seouls...and went to Lotte World into a local brewery...We got a TUBE of microbrewed beer (not for me) and sat in a carriage...
준, Patricia, Stephanie, Brian, James, Jaxs,and Ricky
photo taken by VeganBeats
After the tube we went to Gold Bar (준 was friends with the owner) and well...found a new spot that's got a great energy to it, a pool table (I GOT TO PLAY BILLIARDS!!!!), darts, etc etc etc...

We sat in the VIP lounge and I got to dance and (O:

LAter when the night was very much finished, we all went to norebang.....

Jamsil...I approve of your offers....thank you 서울.
I needed a new night....this week has been....T_T

Thursday, December 2, 2010

김치찌개 and baby oyster mushroom yumminess*!~

Been cooking a bit at my's getting cold, and this woman needs something warm...

First, my mom recently visited Seoul and she was super thoughtful and more than kind and whipped up some 김치찌개 for me, and froze it up for me (thanks ^_^). I've always LOVED 김치찌개 but everywhere around here it's made with fish stock and slabs of finely cut pork/beef/ fish/ I was more than happy to spoil myself with a big bowl of this!! brought me home and reminded me of my family in the states for a bit....(strangely Korean food reminds me of my time in the states as a child...always Korean)

photo taken by VeganBeats
       A new produce market has opened up near my 학원 and I've been checking it out after teaching. Because it just opened there are some GREAT sales, a HUGE bag of oyster mushrooms was 2,000W, 3 cucumbers for 1,000W, and a big bag or onions for 3,000W...c'mon, I was on top of that.
     I came home with a bounty of new fresh produce and my mind started working...I don't really remmeber what my process was, or what I did but twenty minutes later I made this, and...yumm*!~

photo taken by VeganBeats
Obviously a bunch of the baby oyster mushrooms, onion, freshly ground Cambodian pepper, a splash of soy sauce, and red pepper. It was warm, full of flavor, and I felt so spoiled. It didn't have too much soy sauce or pepper (which is great), you could really taste the earthiness of the mushrooms...I have to say I like the baby ones more. They're cute and not to overwhelming in size. I always feel like I'm going to choke on the king oyster...

Not too much cooking fun, I really do wish I had an oven....ah, the fun I would have*!~ ^_^

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

김밥 천 국 중계점 (kim bop chun kuk)

So there's this 김밥 place across the street from my place that is (!!!!!) 24 hours, and on my super early wanderings home, I've found myself here getting some cheap eats that are with fresh veggies, Great portions, and a personal staff....they are called 김밥천국중계점 (kim bap chun kuk) I think there are several, but the one by me is full of great people and yummy fresh ingredients!!

I tend to go with the easy staple for every vegan in Korea, 야챼비빔밥, vegetable bibimbap, niente on the egg....
look at all the veggies! yummm~pre-mix
photo taken by VeganBeats
post mix
photo taken by VeganBeats
Everything is very well priced, this HUGE portion is 4,000W (about 3.75 US) and more than filling.
Early mornings or late nights seem to favor this place....

to Get here, it is a tad complicated, but the one in Jungyye, get out exit 2 from Jungyye station, take the bus 1135 to Eunhangsaagudee, it's across the crosswalk from KB bank, and across from Dunkin Donuts*!~

They have all sorts of stuff too*!~

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Saturday Snuggling*!~

Spent my Saturday snuggling with my girly...Hamlet*!~

Friday wiped me out and I didn't get much sleep..had a long night...physically, mentally, emotionally, etc etc so a day with the girl was so...perfect. Lots of napping together, reading, talking...
squeling away
photo taken by VeganBeats
 She's getting so much more social, she was squeling miles a's great to hear her so much happier and more social...she used to be really skittish but she's breaking out of her shell!!
pretty girl
photo taken by VeganBeats

photo taken by VeganBeats
Lazy snuggly*!~

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Don't forget the Great Weekend....all smiles*!~ still....

T_T  It's been so long since I've last many issues this week...but none to let me lose sight of an AWESOME weekend...(I'm loving that the greatness of weekends is not getting old, and instead is a silver lined singing glowing glimmering consistency....knock on wood**)

Let's start with Friday...Midnight shopping happened in 동대문 with Jaxs, Patricia, Brian, and Meeyun. Haven't kicked it with Brian in a while, OR with Patricia so it was super nice to kick it with them and catch up.

The markets were filled with people and I set a goal for myself ot NOT spend any more lots of window wander shopping for a couple hours...Brian had to get up early so left and the ladies and I went to 홍대 around 4am! We met up with Stephanie there, another wonderful fabulous Seoul*!~

We wandered the streets for a while and checked out a couple new clubs (new phbbbt), I forgot what the ones we went to were called.

Went to a HOF and got some persimmon soju...yumm*!~
photo taken by VeganBeats
It was super sweet, but so yummy ㅎㅎㅎ ended up getting another sojut o mix with this pitcher...only 8,000W!!!
At HOF's you have to order food, and they're rarely vegan but do come up with vegetarian possibilities, so Meeyun and Jaxs got this bad ass boat of fruit, ice cream and blueberry sauce....

aparently the icecream was "super good vanilla" ...why are you not soy green tea ice cream?!!!
photo taken by VeganBeats

The fruit was beautiful, and smelt wonderful....but it was a bit pricey...about 18,000W!!! I thoroughly enjoyed my persimmon soju though*!~
cheers to Soju*!~
photo taken by VeganBeats
So I ended up discovering some more places in 홍대 super early Saturday morning...and spent the day napping at Jaxs*!~

Around noon we met up with fellow Vegan George and galavanted around Gangnam to find some eats...we stumbled into about four places that just didn't understand Veganism...or veggies only please and found Sinpo Woori Mandoo! They had english on their menu and suprisingly a lot of Vegan and Veggie options*!~

Sinpo Woori Mandoo menu
photo by VeganBeats
George got the bibim-myun, which is bascially bibimbap with noodles as opposed to the rice fix...The noodles were thick buckwheat udon noodles, and the ingredients looked really fresh. I loved the mountain of veggies*!~
pre-mix, look at those veggies*!~ nom nom nom
photo taken by VeganBeats
 ...I love all the gochujang on this, and it looks so colorful and vibrant...I'm not a noodle girl, but I tried some of the veggies and they were crisp, fresh, and had a great snap to them!!! chyea*!~
post mix...(O:
photo taken by VeganBeats
I can't find a link to this place, but turns out through researching it is a chain place...I would def check this place out again, and maybe this time I'll be hungry.
I met up with my fam later at a Chinese place and needless to say I got pretty sick after...and the pics of the food are not what I want ot brag about at all....nothing like the Chinese glory I was spoiled with when I went last year...sigh::: China......

Anyways, after dinner with the family I kicked it back home to Junggye and then went back to 홍대, and to Gorilla!! I know I go often, but I do love it there...the beautiful Seouls*!~
A night of 진 mix drinks and kicking it with my ladies, Patricia, Jaxs, and Stephanie....lots of dancing, laughing, drinking (ai ai ai) and kicking it with good people.
Sunday I spent most of the day with a friend, walking around laughing and smiling....I'm loving my weekend...and so glad that it's Thursday...

The stress of my work is making the weekends so essential for my mental and emotional balance....

Thursday night...plans with the Jaxs, and then go to again*!~

Friday, November 19, 2010


In such a funk, and didn't think it would happen here, or that these negativities would so powerfully enter my state of being....

of course...I'm just sounding emo.

it might be all of these haircuts getting to me. ㅎㅎㅎ

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Finding new places, kicking it with good Seouls....another speedy weekend*!~

Another great and super speedy weekend....
I spent all of Saturday with my mom and it was GREAT ㅎㅎ We went to Gangnam first and met with some people and got treated to an AWESOME restuarant called Seven Springs. It's super green and all about organic and local, which was so great. The salad bar was vegan self was literally wiggling in excitment! There were sprouts, tons of lettuce greens (!!!!!!!!!!!!), beets (!!!), broccoli, cauliflour, asparagus, tons of olives, sweet pumpkin, lotus root, banchans, mmuk, etc etc etc...I love me some fresh organic veggies...
nom nom salad....
photo taken by VeganBeats
 I put a bunch of 거추장 on my basically I made bibimbop without rice...chyea!
They also had a coffee bar (had like 8 espressos), a beautiful dessert bar, nothing vegan but I can appreciate. Green tea chocolate chip cookies, green tea almond cake, red bean cookies, carrot cake, etc...they also had a pasta bar, seafood fiogoli, soybean alfredo, and a homemade sausage pasta...lots of things...
Turns out there's  a bunch of Seven Springs throughout in HONGDAE!!!


After nomming with the mom we went to Dongdaemon and shopped around, caught up and were just girls together, it was really nice. I haven't been able to spend as much time with my mom as I would so much )O: But I really appreciated this time with her. Seeing her home, where she grew up and seeing her glow with rememberance for some of these places is...beautiful!
We then went to Myeoungdong, a place where she used to go all the time as a young woman. She said she used to escape stress and pressures by wandering through this market, guess when my dad and her got married they shared a lot of dates here....(O:
     After a whole day of playing, walking, shopping and girling out, we parted ways and I met up with Stephanie...Hongdae again! Threw on a new outfit and met up with the ladies for a night out...once again, I cannot stress the love of my ladies!
     Stephanie, Jaxs, Myeon, Christine and I wandered into a HOF and got some makali...a couple bottles of it and kicked it ladies style. Our friends Ju-hee and Seoungeun met up with us later and then we scampered over to Gorilla. Another night of dancing, kicking it, and having fun....

again....the lack of sleep continues*!~

ㅎㅎㅎ when Stephanie and I woke up we played around Wangsimni a bit and found a teeny restaurant and I got some vegan soondubu  and she got some kimchi jiggae....

nothing like hot spicey soup to cure any and everything
kimchi jigae up top, banchan, then my soondubu
photo taken by VeganBeats

photo taken by VeganBeats
After filling our bellies with yummy spiceyness I got a personal tour of the Emart in Wangsimni....whoa ^^ overwhelming. Walmart has nothing on this's MASSIVE first off and has just about anything you need, from brooms, to oranges, to lizards...and GIANT beatles.

Anyways, great weekend, great eats....and always, wonderful Seouls in my life....

Friday, November 12, 2010

Bau cafe, basement

     Friday!! You're here, you're finally here, I've been waiting for so long....
This week has been...another strenuous one. Dealing with the internal battles and other issues external to my body and self, I've just been drained, and not sleeping....(this pattern again?)

     Anyways, have had a hell of a lot of highlights speckled between though...I always make sure to organize situations where highlights and positivitites are at a high potential...
     I've been to Hongdae about three times this week...often enough that I don't quit remember what exactly or where exactly I was prior to going...(if that makes any sense...)
     One of the times I went (maybe Wednesday) I checked out the Bau House. Stephanie has been going often and saying such great things about it, I HAD to go, and of course who else would I go with but the Amazing lady herself!! Bau House is a cafe that has dosens of puppies and dogs of all sizes and breeds roaming around. You can buy treats to feed the dogs and they all wander around freely in this large room, walking on tables, snuggling up to you on the couches, or laying beneath you while you sip on some tea. It was exactly where I wanted to be...there's something about happy animals that, no matter the stresses and unhappiness, you are understood and free to breathe and, everything just loosens up....
Here are some of the gorgeous canines!!!
photo by VeganBeats
GIANT sleepy Husky
photo taken by VeganBeats
my favorite pup, kept hanging out with me!
photo taken by VeganBeats
     Stephanie and I chilled there for a coupld hours and just chatted and...relaxed. We both have had our fair share of stuff going on lately, again, I love much*!~
     Bau House is really dog friendly, you're actually encouraged to bring you four-legged friends with you, the drinks are a tad steep (my green tea was 5,000W) butexperience is worth it. I'll post the directions later...CHECK THIS CAFE OUT*!~
     After Bau, Stephanie and I wandered and explored some of Hongdae...and found that there are TONS of HOF bars that serve...meat...went home late, didn't sleep, work...
     I went to Hongdae last night also, after a day of stress and....baaarrrrgghhhhhh!!! Had to move into a new place last night, but not until 7:30 pm. I couldn't get the key to my new place until late at night, so I was just stressing about moving everything so late, when I could have moved so much early in the am and during my break. I also didn't get notified that I had to pay a bunch of stuff for my old place in order to get into my new place....I found out at 4. So in between classes I sprinted around, go tthat stuff done, zipped in just in time to teach my other classes, then peaced home with my coworkers and started the moving process. The mover was...hilarious, at least I thought so. He was in his forties (maybe) built like a line backer, wearing a jean and leather jacket and a baller cap, he lost his tape (I took it accidentally) and he started cursing left and right about this tape, nearly dropped something on my boss/coworker, was just...a tad hectic. Amy helped, so did M.K, then Stephanie and Jaxs came over, then two more bosses came over...this new place is teeny, but I'm liking it better so far. BUT, the tenant that lived here before me left a bunch of stuff I feel like I'm living in suitcases and boxes....
     Anyways, after the work team peaced, it was just Jaxs, Stephanie and I...I love these women. We just kicked it, laughed and...just the sense of balance. I was so overwhelmed and stressed out and feeling so tense, but with just these ladies, I felt I was in a trance electro bar and then the music turns into mellow acoustics, Mastadon to Jeff Buckley.

     We went to Hongdae (two days in a row killa) and I met up with a buddy for a bit (O; ㅎㅎㅎ then went to Cheers (a HOF) bar and we got some peach soju...ONLY 4,000W (about $4 for a pitcher) and this stuff was so yummy, and hit the spot. It was sweet, went down easily, wasn't too strong, and tasty. I don't like peaches (yech) but with soju...mamma bear isn't complaining (O;

     Now it's today, a long day at work, so exhausted all day...and have a long day ahead...but before passing out (I plan on doing so super soon) I explored my apartment building and in my basement is a whole bunch of things!!! There's a library, driving range (serious), a PC bar/arcade (ish), a craft store, and everything store, and two restuarants...I played there for a bit, and got myself some eats before resuming apartment cleaning. I explained my lifestyle in the amount of Korean I could yap out (mot mog-goy-yo gogi, gearan, sangsun, etc etc etc) and they made me some soon dubu (순두부)  without oyster, fish broth, fish cakes, or clams...totally vegan! The lady even motioned me over to show me how she was making it...!!!
photo taken by VeganBeats
It was piping hot when I got it and full of mushrooms, chives, scallions, and lots of tofu...really hit the spot! Spice spice spice!!!
There was a lot of banchan available too, most were vegan too!! I asked (O;
from left to right, gochujang 고추장, cabbage kimchi, fried ham, spicey tofu, squash, fried fish skin, greens cabbage kimchi, seaweed/kelp salad, my 순둡부, and 밥
photo taken by VeganBeats
Obviously avoided the non vegan jams...asked about the kimchi, they said no fish, no anchovies, no shrimp...(O;
close up of the banchan, bottom left, cabbage kimchi, fried ham, squash, spicey tofu, fish skin, greens cabbage kimchi, and the seaweed salad
photo taken by VeganBeats
I resumed my evening in my new place, dusting, unpacking and attempting to organize as much as I can without getting upset about all this clutter...must relax, must breath.

Ah a super highlight of this week is I've been writing again, and much more often. Busting out a notebook ont he subway is great, but I've missed some stops because I'm getting rather into it....must get started ont hat project of mine....


currently sipping on some chamomile tea and asking, allowing restful eyes to fall upon me...

Hopefully this weekend will last, and I'll be able to savor every second...

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Children's Park*!~

Today was a fireldtrip to Children's park with my kids!!!
IT was absolutely freezing today, and to top it off, my gas AND heat were shut off...coldest and fastest shower possible....anyways, with damp hair and stone cold grating chattering teeth, wandered to work and an hour ride in a van with cqqueling kids...Children's Park, hello!
I love these kids, all bundled up and full of energy and giggling all the time!!!
my kids*!~
photo by VeganBeats
Ren (Baby) LOVES Pororo!!
photo by VeganBeats
Hailey and Lynn, besties*!~
photo by VeganBeats
for being full of giant cartoon sculptures, qaesthetically pleasing eh!
photo by VeganBeats
Allyson and Eileen
photo by VeganBeats
Hailey and Lynn
photo by VeganBeats
Esther and Jessica
photo by VeganBeats
Ren (Baby) and Shawn...he looks so pleased
photo by VeganBeats
 The whole day was chilly and fun, lots of playing, screaming, running around and a final photo shoot with the cartoons characters....I felt like an annoying parent..."c'mon kids, smile for the camera...say cheese...c'mon, Shawn get closer, Allyson smile, Jessica look here..." eieie
Mashimaro den
photo by VeganBeats
photo by VeganBeats
photo by VeganBeats
final picture until sprinting outside!
photo by VeganBeats