2013 blip~

    2013 has come to a close, and I cannot believe all of the events, challenges, moments, and life I have experienced during it.

    I'm in such a different place from where I was last year. And I am so beyond grateful for the lessons, opportunities, challenges, and connections this year has gifted me with. I'm proud of myself and astounded at all the things I've accomplished, chugged through, and faced head on....even if my tail was between my legs.

photo by Veganbeats

Briefly reflecting, and not in direct order...

*I learned how to snowboard (fall and break a rib or two) and LOVED it.....hell I'm nervous and shaking a lot but...I did it! And I plan on bumbling down some crowded slopes soon!

*I overcame my massive fear of bananas...! (I may get scared again...later on in life...but...hey!)

*I started working with a GREAT team of people that support me and have my back...I actually love going into work now!

*I completed a series of paintings for a restaurant.

*I have had a few commission pieces this year including book illustrations, Christmas prezzies, and a record cover...AND MORE for 2014!!

*I started doing more modeling...nude body paint modeling and actually having fun (LOOK BELOW!)

*I did a fashion show (hahaha)

*I've significantly cut down my gluten intake, and eat raw nearly 80%

*I learned how to pickle watermelon!

*I went BLONDE!!!

*I fought my stubbornness and started going back to therapy again. Genuinely so happy I have...I've been struggling and losing myself so long...and there's a landing spot now. 

*I co-founded and owned a business

*I had a release party for that business

*I met a lot of people through the business and in so, linked up with a few brilliant artists

*I left that business

*I organized a fundraiser, and it went super well!!

*I started writing again, and preformed my pieces at Wordsmith

*I spoke about my rape in a public setting 

*I reclaimed my name

*I fell in love...again! And it has been such a brilliant relationship!! 

*I moved in with Scotty...and it has been full of challenges, but far more laughter and love!

*I wore a bikini....a handful of times

*....in public!!!!

*I went on a hike by myself and did so to disengage from destructive behavior...so rewarding and a BIG step!

*I spoke genuinely and vulnerably to my mother...and we're growing ever better

*Started an excellent safe community with some brilliant leaders (Disruptive Voices)

*Disruptive voices was featured on the Herald and on CNN!

*I learned that taking "me" time and not going out, regardless of friend's asking me to...is totally acceptable and necessary at times

*I started becoming a bit more social

*I lost myself this year and become so dissociated that it scared my old business partner, friends, and my partner....and then myself. (aha...therapy)

*Scott and I did out FIRST collaborative piece...and we've got more to come!

*I've grown comfortable and more open with Scott...I never thought I could trust someone so completely and love someone again so much more dearly!

*I met some new kindred spirits and feel like old souls that I once knew in past lifetimes and adventures

*Scotty and I traveled out of Seoul and we went to beaches and ate like guinea pigs

*I've seen all my girls grow and develop greater more prominent personalities...they are the gift of life

*I almost completed a detox cleanse...and plan on kicking off the year with another one

*I discovered (and got hooked on) goji berries, lemons, and chia seeds

*I started eating breakfast!

*I had stuffed peppers!!

*I've had terrible, awful, eye draining, lung crushing fights...

*I've gone 6 months cut free!

*I significantly decreased alcohol consumption! (Haven't always drank much..but in Korea!!)

*I've been destructive free for 1 week this year (ahhh HELL CHYEA)

*I've worn dresses that fit my body...a handful of times...and in public!!!

*I went to a restaurant with friends!

*Scotty and I spent a couple days in the summer biking around!

*I saw a double rainbow...and it came at a perfect time when work was particularly draining as it layered such a shitty self day

*I conquered another food fear and had a blended drink at Starbucks...WHAT?!?!? 

*I was able to cry in front of my friends

*When I was crying and feeling really in harms way...I was comfortable and strong enough to call a friend

*I've stuck up for myself...to my friends

*I met and shared so many wonderful times with Scotty's family!

*I've gone to bed laughing and I've woken up smiling

*I've stepped away from some friendships that did more harm then good...for myself

*I started making my own popcorn!!

*I'm advocating more for myself and doing things that are better for myself. I'm avoiding places that put myself in a level of discomfort that prohibits me from moving "forward". 

*I go out of my comfort zone to achieve the things I feel will bring me closer to my dreams

*I'm dreaming....a lot

*I introduced Scotty to my family...and brought him to Kimjang!

Lady Deadpool (body paint and photo by Corey) 

Lady Deadpool (body paint and photo by Corey)

    There's so many more challenges I faced and obstacles I overcame...and most of them, I had bloody knees, bruised ankles, and torn pride...but.
     I look forward to the growth and experiences I'll get to call my own or share with countless others and potentially newer faces. I've got a few goals in place...

I'll write up another post in the future...about challenges I will set for myself!

photo by Veganbeats

One is that I'll come back to this blogging world...hell, I missed you!!

xxx

English Lesson with food~

     Actively and enjoyably learning something, anything, especially a language comes with a lot of natural challenges. The more difficult the task, the easier it is to throw in the towel and give up all together. I do this all too often, especially when it comes to learning Korean. When it gets too hard, or even overwhelming, I take a break...and that hinders my progress even more.
     You need to work with admirations and interests, sure this is an obvious but having the freedom to work with someone one on one makes their learning experience and your teaching that much more effective. One of my new students is painfully shy, for the first couple hours with her, I felt like I was fishing for elephants in a shallow stream...in Attleboro. No luck...
     I called to my joys and whipped out a lot of paper, nearly every drawing utensil and art supply I had and found that she LOVES expressing herself creatively...so now we draw and chat about everything. I don't want to abuse the art power, so last week...we did an English cooking lesson.
     I don't really think anyone doesn't like to use their hands when it comes to learning something...unless your learning about the sharpness of poisonous darts~ get in touch with several senses, get more brain activity going, being a part of a production. We made Korean food and while making the kitchen a mess, she was chatting away all sorts of facts about Korean food and her relationship with it. So what did we make?

빈대떡~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Bindaeddeok, 빈대떡, or mungbean pancakes! These are high in protein, fiber, and you can literally throw everything you've got into them. In ours we added 김치, scallions, soybean sprouts, teeny mushrooms, zukes, and garlic leaks...result? Crispy, crunchy, flat mess of yum!

What you need:

1. 14 ounces of mung beans, soaked overnight
2. 1 onion sliced thin
3. 1 small carrot julienned (optional)
4. handful of green onions sliced up
5. as much 김치 as you want, slice this up too
6. handful of bean sprouts
7. whatever chopped up veggies you're feeling for
8. salt, to your taste
9. water

What to do:

1. rinse the soaked mung beans and put in a food processor and crunch all that jazz up
2. add some water to create a paste
3. in another bowl mix all the sliced goodies you have and the salt
4. add the mung bean paste
5. heat a pan with some oil
6. ladle the mixture in, and get the sides crispy brown, serve with soy sauce or eat plain!

     Next we made one of the simplest, yet satisfying Korean Vegan go-to's...pan fried tofu (두부)

두부~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

What do you need:

1. tofu
2. oil
3. some salt and pepper to taste

What to do:

1. pat the tofu dry and cut into rectangles
2. heat oil in a pan
3. sprinkle salt and pepper on the tofu, fry it up

**I like adding garlic... because garlic is great~

     I made a sprouted green salad for the side, and we had a little English cooking date~

Busy week, Last day...pack rattin'

     This past week has been very tightly packed, I love busy but this week was scheduled enough that I didn't get in all my P90X! I can't deny that I'm feeling insecure, angry, and pretty aggravated about it. I've mentioned it so many times, I like crossing off my daily list and the P90X was a point on the list along with a place on my yearly/sectioned goals and resolutions. I've still been active...but this week I've been too tired to make time for it. (Not acceptable- parts of me say, while others try to be realistic and reasonable)

     Be gentle with yourself~ I say it often, and believe it...take the advice!

pat juk is a nice way to relax right~ this was at a tutor gig... (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Everyday I wake up around 5, walk the dogs (dog sitting again!), grab the bus to West Seoul and teach until 9/9:10, sprint to the subway back to Seocho to the kindy job, work until 4:30/5, walk to the next tutor session, catch another bus and walk the dogs, go to another tutoring session...home around 11. It's too late to work out (not really) but I'm very fatigued and I have to wake up at 5! Ugh~
     Today was my last day with the kids, my last day with my school and I was ready to leave, knew I would miss my kids but...the pouring of tears wasn't something I prepared for. At the end of my second class, my kids ran around me, wrapping their teeny arms around my shoulders, neck, legs, and  kissing my cheeks, saying how much they'll miss me, cooing and giggling...and I. Lost. It~ I tried to wipe my eyes, but kids being kids only provided more love, making me cry more...

     It's funny how much all my kids have changed me, taught me throughout this past year. This was a job in the beginning, a means to fill my wallet...they became a source of love, energy, and joy; they are the reason why I stayed. I send so much love to them...I really love them. They're not even my own, but I love them this much~ ('This'  being completely undefineable).

     After today, red and puffy eyed me sloppily packed my apartment up into my bathroom because tomorrow all the furniture is going to be replaced...Veganbeatin' pack rat in action~


my apartment fits into my bathroom~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

      This year I learned a great deal about love, genuine happiness, how to live the moment...and my teachers were all younger than 7...

nothing but love~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

I LOVE my kids ^^*

     I'll be honest, I've been in a bit of an emotional rut for the past couple weeks. Been feeling more down and out than up and adam, been in this head of mine so much and getting out of it is essentially impossible...
     The best analogy I have for really even kissing what's been going on is that inside my head is a massive bowl of spaghetti and all of these insecurities, fears, points of nervousness, doubts, etc, all have a fork jabbed up in there and they are all swirling around, creating such a tangled overwhelming mess of unorganizable thoughts and processes. In that, I've been in hiding just trying to work through the tangles...
     I know this is a vegan blog, but hey it's VeganBeats, what I walk to, think up, and work with....that being children! They are wonderful and I spend most of my time a week with these guys. The young Seouls full of energy, enthusiasm, and just loads of love. Here is a   collection of photos of the wonderfully intelligent kids that bring a smile to my face on a daily basis...and who collectively have kept my head above water for a bit!!

Chris and our wooden block robots (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Wooden block robot making time! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

adorable Dean! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Chris makes me smile everyday...dances, loving hugs, and karate moves!! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

brushing teeth!! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

photo taken by VeganBeats

Every time I see Alex he greets me with "Let's have FUN!! Good Luck to You!!" (photo taken by VeganBeats)

let's brush our teeth! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Jun!!! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

"Teacher, let's make zombie faces!" (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Antonio! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Tony! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

photo taken by VeganBeats

taken by VeganBeats

     This next two pictures are of Sean, a boy that...he melts my heart. He is so sweet and caring and adorable. He is really bright too...

pretending to sleep! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

gorgeous!! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     The next pictures are of my seven year olds, I spend a lot of time with them and they are such a blast. Always full of energy, always trying to have a conversation, and full of enthusiasm. There is such much genuine positivity coming from these kids that just being around them I feel bright and smiley. I can be on the most apathetic of moods and, they get me caring again, laughing, dancing...the whole shebang!! I look forward to my classes with these guys!!

Kevin in his Birthday best ^^* (photo taken by VeganBeats)

David, the class heart-throb! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

graceful, sweet, lovely Julia! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Tony! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Kevin again!! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

First time Jack has EVER been shy!! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

only some of them tried to make expression ridden faces! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Daniel!! and faces! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

At the end of class...I am surrounded! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Children will never know how much they improve life, my life....my existence!

Thanks kids....for helping me and getting me to smile!

어린이날

     Today is Childran's day 어린이날, a holiday in which everyone is allowed to (and it's even suported) spoil our children, umm I mean "celebrate" their existence. I remember as a child LOVING this day. Not for the ideal and honorary reasons, but because the day was all about my brother and I and how AWESOME we are. We would get too many gifts and too much money and eat too much food and we would go to some zoo or park or crazy playground.
~~But truly, I don't remember any of the gifts, the money, or the food...I always spent this day with my Korean family and it was always active and fun. My Korean side of my family really focuses on family and being a supportive unit. Barely is the tv on, or some sort of other mode to focus upon, we savor and protect human connection and create something together (loads of 만두.)
     Although I possess a grosse amount of child-like qualities, it's not my day and it may look a little silly if my 이모 was grasping my hand with candy in hand and we were skipping to a park squeling about slides...O_o# The glory of teaching, us teachers (along with EVERYONE) has the day off.This morning I was with Seoul as it awoke, saw the sun rise, people waking up, children growing excited for their day of adventures...it can be everyone's day right...but we won't forget to honor those children!


     I think I have mentioned the wonderful lunch ladies at my school that are al too concerned with my consumption (ahhh Korea) and prepare a massive plate of produce for me everyday...I am more than grateful, as are Hamlet and 고구마!

O_o# cucumber, yellow pepper, lettuce, banana, apple, carrot and, vegan 김치 O_o# photo taken by VeganBeats

melon, apple, sweet cabbage, cube 김치, lettuce and carrot (photo taken by VeganBeats)

banana, cellery, cube 김치, lettuce, bok choy, and carrots...(photo taken by VeganBeats)

The plate is massive and I bring home more than half of this everyday...I am more than thankful and touched by these women and their care...
This vegan belly of mine will do just fine!

Anyways, to everyone, children alike, and those with Child-like minds, enjoy the day, savor it love it live it....

안녕, 좋은하루되세요!!!!

Irish Festival~

     The Irish Festival was yesterday, in light of St. Patrick's Day the Irish association of Korea organized a whole slew of events. Music and dancing in Insadong followed by drunken debauchery in Itaewon and Gangnam...

entrance photo taken by VeganBeats

      I arrived at 인사동 around 1 to an enormous amount of people, all sporting green and trucking beers, from what I heard all the GS25's had sold out. There was a Korean Irish band that played traditional celtic music along with doing some Irish dance (trip!) There was also U2 covers done... The festival began at 11:30 and continued on to 6 or so...I left early but regardless of the dwindling music and stage presence, people were piling into the fesitval spot. The energy of the place seemed overall joyful and even playful. An added bonus is that 인사동 is my family's home town...so in many ways I felt closer to my family. My qurter Irish heritage was done proud ^^*!~ My family in the states would have thoroughly loved the shows too!
     Jaxs came up a bit later and her and I wandered the streets in search of a quaint tea shop and we found 인사동이야기! It's close to 종로 and located on the 2nd floor of a building...(obviously!) Tea is of abundance along with lots of rice cakes...

beautiful Jaxs^^*!~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

      This place was very cute, smokey lighting and lots of personalized letters and notes stapled ot the walls. I can picture a lot of cozy dates (with friends or interests ^^*!~) happening here.

     Jaxs and I skimmed the menu to find lpts of teas, persimmon leaf, green, earl grey~ and they had cocktails and beer, which we were both suprised about. Jaxs and I eventually made a decision and she went with the jujube tea and I got a ginger tea.

my ginger tea on the left, Jaxs' jujube tea on the right...rice cakes and snacks behind! (photo taken byVeganBeats)

     Being in 인사동 means cute rice cakes and treats...these were some of the best I've had. Light, soft, not too sweet...and too cute.

cute rice cakes! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

I don't know what these are called, maybe puffed rice cakes? (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Jaxs and I signed the guest book, a cute ratty paper filled concoction that now I notice was what was stapled to the walls.

jujube tea and guestbook! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

      The tea was resonabley priced (I think so considering ambiance and quality) about 5,000W per cup...soa  bit pricey but hell...yummy! I love me some ginger tea and forgot how much I really love it ^^*!~ Plus, I got more Jaxs time~ win!!
     After tea I opted to go home and nap for a lengthy planned evening...around 11:30 I went to 이태원 and met up with the crew for some drinks and a rugby match~yea Ireland! The game didn't start until 2am but I was wide awake and getting well educated on the importance of such a game (thank ye Pol!)
     After many shared drinks, banters, yelling, and cheering the crew started to leave...Todd and Pol stuck around and we met up with another friend to go for some SUPER late night noms. One of Pol's friends brought us to a small and very cute 삼겸살 place and it was adorable. An actual resturaunt with great decor...

소주 decorations...(photo by VeganBeats)

     It was quirky and a bit artsy and had a great energy about it. Very open, accepting..but that could just be because of the fabulous group I was now with. ^^*!~
두부김치 was my love, free of meats and all that stuff of course, and ugh....hot 김치 and fresh 두부~
     Irish Festival was a wonderful experience, a great time and really fun. Enjoyed from beginning to end, great times with friends...and I got some Irish dancing in too!!

First week down...the beginning starts with silver*!~

The first week of school is finished...exhausted, tired, thoroughly content!
I work with AMAZING people~~and have an swesome coteacher along with adorable, bright, energetic and really fun children^^!~
     The first days of classes were devoted to adjustment, the students getting and growing comfortable with their new teachers...lots of playing, dancing, reading, laughing, and foolery~ calling to those child parts I've got.
     I did a lot of arts and crafts with my kids, more of a "Let's make this classroom OURS!" Drew pictures of ourselves, made character hand leaves, introductory fact sharing...I tried to think of the fun things I did in kindergarden, those name games and crafts and such, but...remembering anything prior to 11 is difficult (hell I've tried.) Judging by the smiles and power ranger high-fives...I'll vote success*!~


cute cute^^*!~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

I've got kids that like doing art....ahhhh*!~

coloring with determination~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

After coloring in a load of farm animals...the kids did short presentations. Showcasing their coloring they posed for some modeling shots and explained why they like their favorite farm creatures!

 After presentations we played more, learned London Bridge, danced, played lots of games, drew pictures, read about dinosaurs...pretended to be dinosaurs~ (they like the parasaurolophus!!!!)



After a super long day (more exhuasting then long) the team went out for some relaxation time and then wandered over to a 고기식 and being a meat house...I got some of the free 반찬!! I'm looking forward to a great year and wonderful time with not only the new team but with my students, the new adventures...and....ahhh Seoul part II, you are looking pretty fabulous^^*!~


mmm 고추장 and 야채*!~*!~*!~ photo taken by VeganBeats



The Final day...Graduation and a small celebration ^^*~

     Today marked the last day with my school, the graduation day of my kindy kids, and some last hoorahs with my awesome students...
     The graduation ceremony went wonderfully, the kids were fun, giggling, so loving, and everything went so smoothly...ahhh they're adorable ^^*!~

dressed up for "The Little Red Hen" play (photo taken by VeganBeats)

 We rented some costumes...we went with farm animals and ahh soo cute. I want some of these costumes..Halloween huzzuh!

Jessica as the Little Red Hen! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

^^*!~ photo taken by VeganBeats

Eileen as Cow and Hailey as Dog ^^*!~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)



      After the play we did "Old McDonald" and then the graduation certificates....darling

Haiely is beautiful^^*!~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

      A REALLY small class...but there is no measure for how lovely these kids are. I adore all of them so much and will miss them so much...they've touched my life ^^*!~

Teachers in the back, kids in the front 야!! photo owned by VeganBeats

       Here are my graduates^^*!~


from left to right: Shawn, Esther, Jessica, Hailey, and Lynn ^^*!~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

  There were a lot of family members that came to support the kindy graduates...our special student was Eileen, she isn't graduating with her peers...but her whole family came to support her friends.

Penny and Eileen (photo taken by VeganBeats)

  Alright, so in complete honesty...the only reason I was considering staying with EDLS was because of these two girls...these beautiful sisters. They are so smart and they have both gotten a decent amount of territory in this heart. They work hard, are so sweet, true characters, and stunning...in every sense of the word. Mush...mush is what I turn into.

After the graduation, I was able to kick it with them and..ahh thank you girls^^*!~


  Playing in our indoor playground...

photo taken by VeganBeats

 My afternoon classes were just filled with fun...lotsd of laughing, picturing, dancing...my kids were so thoughtful, they remembered it was my last day and were nothing but loving and warmth...

Clinging onto me...photo taken by VeganBeats

My afternoon kindy class was hilarious...insisting on playing hide and go seek in a room with only a table...where would they hide?

right after this she jumped onto me...photo taken by VeganBeats

"take pictures of us and chairs Vanessa teacher." photo taken by VeganBeats

my afternoon kindy girls...beautiful bright young ladies ^^*!~ photo taken by VeganBeats

My premium classes were a blast as well...these kids speak English rather well...and have been busting their asses the whole time...chill day in order, hell yeah..... 

peace~~photo taken by VeganBeats

 So didn;t mention it, my face exploded earlier this week...thanks to bangs you can't see by GIANT SWOLLEN EYE...apologies for looking scrubby

wha I look tired....peace signs^^*!~ photo taken by VeganBeats

 My last class of the day is filled with some of the brightest kids...they're english is at such a high level and I've been supporting a heavy creative flow with them...I have successfully turned this class into a creative writing class (huzzuh) and they have me by the heart strings...
     Going into this class, they shut off the classroom lights and screamed "Surprise!!" once I entered...and they all wrote me letters, drew pictures, gave me personalized gifts and organized a snack party! They all planned stuff throughout the week on what to do on my last day...they brought me to tears. I wasn;t expecting such a..loving energy.
Thak you Premium A....

snacking it up^^ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

카프리썬 (caprison) photo taken by VeganBeats

Leaving my final class I got hugs, love, and lots of warmth...hell I'm going to miss these kids a lot...