Bye Binger~

Binger baby~ photo taken by VeganBeats

hey babes~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     Back in 2009 I got a brilliant being introduced to my life. He was shy, beaten, blinded, thin, and needing a lot of love. I got him back in Vermont after a road trip with space, whilst there was tension, we drove into a grimy neighborhood and anxiously walking through the rusted fence. As the gate creaked, booming barks escaped the disheveled condo. I balled my fists, felt Space behind me, nerves calmed and I banged on the door. I tired person jarred open the door, barked at me with her dogs and guided me up a messy staircase to a cage placed in a corner, underneath bags of lizard and bird pellets, and moldy dog bones. There, underneath a rotting wooden tunnel and among soiled bedding was my baby, Binger.

Sleepy Binger~ photo taken by VeganBeats~

Heya!! Photo taken by VeganBeats

Yo~ photo taken by VeganBeats

"Mom!!! Hi!"~ photo taken by VeganBeats

years ago~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     The moment I picked him up, he shivered and cried, and my heart wrapped right there around him. One of his eyes was knocked slightly blind and he was painfully thin. We all drove home and I introduced this little guy to actual food. At first he backed away from it, unsure what this strange green thing was. He was scared of fruits and vegetables, and refused to leave out from underneath his tunnel. Months went on and he was still scared. I let him be outside on my back porch with my small vegetable garden. He managed to will enough courage to eat all of my parsley and cilantro...the fear was broken. 

photo taken by VeganBeats

     Since then, he gained weight, grew social, was curious, purred, snuggled up with anyone that picked him up. He loved Space, cooing at him and running all over him while he was reading or pounding away on a keyboard. For me, he nuzzled up to my face, curled into my chest and stomach; talking about his veggie-filled day. He'd follow me around my apartment, screaming at me to slow down.
     When Space left, Binger met me with laughter and smiles and a constant source of kisses and snuggling. Whenever I was down, he'd go the extra mile to get out of his cage and would snuggle me. He was playful and always providing me with care and company.

a little angel~ photo taken by BroBeats

     Soon after I found myself standing alone in the universe, stripped of all my stars and planets, all the galaxies and silverlinings...one remained, he stayed by me. Binger and I were together, living, breathing, sleeping, being. That year (end of 2009-2010) Binger stuck by me; was my safety net, my best friend, son, roommate, bed-mate, my confidant. He was the last soul I saw before China, the first being I ate with when I returned.
     Through traumas and the most testing period of my life, Binger was the safe face, the source of love and, the hug I could count on. When my universe completely collapsed, Binger was by my side as I sobbed and died a thousand times over. He loved me when I didn't shower for weeks, couldn't muster anything besides a whimper, and was more than lost.

sleepy boy~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     He moved with me to my parent's house, and still with my tears and upset, it was Binger. I'd wake up and share my morning coffee with him laid out in my lap, go to one job and return to him talking and asking about my day, job again, and whenever I did return, he was there to welcome me. He was the last soul I shared my bed with before coming to Korea. He was a skype date; the little one to remember me whenever I called, spoke to him, or walked through my parent's doors. He never forgot me, and I will never forget him.
    Binger, you were more than a guinea pig, more than a pet..you are my baby, my best friend, my kid, my safety, my love, and the rock that kept me grounded~ whenever I was floating away.

Thank you Binger...for giving me life when I felt as if mine was ending...

RIP Binger~ photo taken by BroBeats

Rest in Peace my little nugget~ 2012/12/22

VeganBeats back Stateside: Rushing around and Bumbling through Brooklyn

     As most people and crew know, I wandered my way stateside for a best friend's wedding (CONGRATULATIONS LOVERS) but while doing so, I invested a lot of emotions and parts work into the trip. The trip was very tightly scheduled and within it, involved traveling all around...but I was ready, and am so glad I did it all.
     I took American Airlines most of the way, and despite rumors of no more veggie meals, they were somewhat accommodating. They came up with some pretty horrid ideas of veggie meals (cucumber, kiwi, butter soggy sandos?!~) I did start my first flight on Japanese airlines and their vegan meal was surprisingly good. I got a green salad with carrots, daikon, spring greens, and a few cherry tomatoes and a simple balsamic redux dressing  the main was a pumpkin, zucchini, carrot, and onion curry served with turmeric rice and peas, and a spicy tomato eggplant jalfrezi. This was served up with a side of two chapati/pita and the dessert was a raw coconut, apple, apricot bar! HELL yeah vegan jams!

Japanese air Vegan meal~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     As soon as I landed, I booked it home for a quick shower and buzzed to The Melting Pot for Nichole's bachelorette party. I honestly wasn't up for eating (and fondue just doesn't get me sassy) and felt vodka was a smarter choice. I asked for a cranberry vodka and got a giant glass of cranberry flavored vodka. Swirling about later I managed to make a couple dozen decorative bows for the wedding.
     The next day (Sunday) was family jams. I made three different types of hummus and one bean dip while my mom made roasted pumpkin, a Japanese soba noodle salad, and mandu soup. Vegan jams for the WIN! Even in pictorial absence, there was a feast prepped and I so wish the wedding was towards the end of the week...lady stress aside and implied insecurities fully owned~ how can I enjoy feasts when I've got a dress to snuggle into at the end of the week?

veggie platter...photo taken by VeganBeats

     Oh~ minor MAJOR detail, my boy Binger~ he remembered me! The little old man full of creaky knees, a foggy eye, digestive struggles, started chatting away the moment I opened the door. He's an old one but still a pup. I'd be lying if I didn't say he was someone I was BEYOND pumped to spend some mama baby time with! 

heya mama~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     Seriously, the second I put him on my chest he stretched out and caught me up on the past year of shenanigans and trouble he's been getting into. Too bad he tired himself out!

sweepy~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     The next couple days was all about finding my ground, getting some rooting in, getting my head back on, reconnecting with positivity, and understanding what it is that I love and need to maintain a pleasant, positive, and productive state of being. Monday began with a blinded sprint through South Station to settle a spot via FungWah to New York ($15.00 to NY from Boston!). I was going to kick it with some Bearquarium loves and I was all too eager to get to NY as fast as possible. BUT 20 minutes outside of South Station, just over the Mass border these horrendous sounds started rumbling in the bass of the bus. Smoke started to billow out and angry hisses erupted out of the bus's sides, it started to slow and the heaviness started to hint in my chest.
      On the side of the highway, half a bus full of people sat seeing hundred of cars wiz by, free of complications. I've only read about the failed FungWah missions, and after taking it for nearly a decade and well over a dozen times, this was a first. After an hour, another bus came and picked us up and this one, bus number two, broke down three separate times on the way to New York.
     I arrived and Towsky just began his class, I hailed a cab after walking a couple blocks (cabs are a plenty...but only in Seoul). I stumbled into a bar, interrupted a class and was presented a strong cranberry vodka (this time WITH juice). Filled with giddiness and genuine excitement about actually sitting NEXT to Towsky, I got far drunker than intended (thanks Professor). I blame my roadster rush into inebriation on BQ love! Once class wrapped up, we headed back to Towsky's and I explored my home for the next two nights. I've only seen Towsky's place via skype and if it was impressive then~ in person it's insane! My favorite part was his indoor greenhouse, goji berries, basil, avocado tree, greens...grahhhhhhhhh.

garden glory~ photo taken by VeganBeats

      After a bit we linked up with Spy and went for a wander around Brooklyn. We stumbled (literally) into a park and started climbing trees (pics later...maybe) and everything felt so balanced. The bliss and content that used to be a big part of my life was surrounding me. (whine: I love my friends here, but I really miss BQ) I was feeling...good, great, at peace. These things have been so clearly and loudly missing from my life here. 

by our park~ photo taken by VeganBeats

      After putting monkeys to shame and getting swirlier than intended, I skipped back home and Towsky, Spy, and I shared a few bottles of wine, laughs, stories, and still...peace. I passed out earlier than intended and woke up at 7!! Towsky conveniently woke up and there were two options; deal with our spinning hangovers sleeping OR throwing on waterproof clothing, sneakers, and hitting the dewy morning on bikes!
     We were both in this world of disbelief. I haven't seen Towsky in years, and though Skype has been brilliant, physical presence is a world of difference. Is this a dream?
     Towsky is now gluten-free and more than accommodating to vegan jams (you are kind of stuck with me ya) and he found Sun In Bloom, a gluten free, raw, and vegan restaurant. (facebook page)

You see these types of signs...all over NY~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     I'm not a breakfast lady but how often am in New York?! How often can I eat a raw meal with a BQ crew bud?
     Phbbbt~ and game~ Towsky got a chia seed almond milk that was nearly pudding. Kissed with cinnamon and coconut, thick and creamy, this drink was pure energy and bliss. It was rather pricey though, but recreation is a mission worth getting on~

chia seed almond milk~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     For a main, he got the Bloom Burger as a salad ($9.25). This is a live burger (nothing is cooked) made up of tomato, basil, caramelized onions and assorted seeds and such. It was served with cabbage, lettuce, with a Live sunflower dill dressing. The dressing was a bit too sweet for me, and I can't help myself, I want sriracha on EVERYTHING.

Towsky's dish~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     I got a Rueben Special as a salad ($9.25), which was marinated tempeh with house made raw sauerkraut and a live creamy Russian dressing. It was served on a bed of raw cabbage and lettuce and dusted in parsley and black pepper.  This was so good, but I've NEVER had a Reuben before so owning that I have nothing to compare it to. But if this is what they taste like...whoa~

My dish~ photo taken by VeganBeats

      After brunch, Towsky had class and I met up with Spy for more jolls around New York. I foolishly wore GIANT shoes and still trekked the town...eh who needs to feel anything below the ankles right?
     We wandered through all of High Rise Park and in all my times in New York, how could I have missed this? The past visits have involved nightly escapades and shows or swirly mornings...another gracious thanks for getting in some sun and having a New York day. The park is quite brilliant, it was a deserted subway line that runs over several main streets in the city. There are hidden art pieces along the path and cute spots to open up a sketch pad, read a book, binge on coffee, snuggle up with a loved one, or just be.

road view~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     When we got to the end of the park I squealed about wanting to see Lady Liberty and being a great sport, he was game to kick it to the Hudson river.
     The weather was pristine, and I was already glowing and full of all this love and grounding, my appreciation and presence with the world was electrifying me. I was feeling so connected to NY, I really loved it, and my energy was more than above baseline. So many people are out;  awake, running, biking, loving, snuggling, singing- int heir own world's and still interacting in this world, on the river, on the roads. The community is present!! I know Seoul has it's special things too, but there's something really nice about seeing and being with all that activity!
     We wandered to the Freedom Tower (hell yea NY) and we wandered back toward his neighborhood for coffees while waiting for Towsky to get out of class. Whilst binging, I was on mission numero two...VT~ I wanted and planned to kick it with as much of BQ as possible, and I wanted to squeeze it in before Wedding Rehearsal time. I came to discover that the only possible way I could do this was to catch an 8:30 am bus to Burlington and arrive at 4 then to catch the 2am bus BACK to Boston at 7:30am. I did complain and argue with the computer for a bit, but if I was Seoulside, I'm sure I'd be in such a bitter and angry position where hatred would fill my veins. I was frustrated, but...aigo.
     Spy and I got out missions done then met with Towsky for a late dinner...messing up subway lines and getting confused we took longer than planned (Seoul subways...thank you for making sense to me) and by the time we got to his place...like old times, I was interrupting slumbers. Spy juiced up our mission and we whirl-winded out to the chilly streets for another wine and dine mission.
     Oh Towsky's place is even better because there's a Trader Joe's so super close!!! ughghhghghghg I'm a space cadet in Joe's and though I was wine-focused, I started wandering and had to be barked at to get focused...Damn You Joe!!
     A quick wine purchase and we went to Mocha Hookah, a grungey and delicous Mediterranean spot. We got a cute corner booth and still...I can't string enough words together to express my peace. As soon as we sat, we got a generous plate of green olives; oily, briny  just enough sour to draw me in. These fatty morsels are a treat...god damned the dress haunting me in my home.

olives~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     Dishes and appetizers were all affordable and the fact that Mediterranean was suggested absolutely tickled me. Making consumption easier for me is not a huge things, but a few people have always gone out of there way to just...help me out. Also, I LOVE going out to eat with these boys, hungry people hell yeah! We got a tabouli salad, LOADED with parsley and light on the bulgur, hummus, babaganoush, a falafel platter (with extra falafel balls), a thick salad (greens for V), pita, and stuffed grape-leaves for Spy. I generally and regrettably kind of despise eating with friends, or in public, or amongst a community. I'm one of those solo-diners, but back in the day, BQ always did family style, and this was just another way to give me a gift of grounding and home. I've savored those meals with the BQ family although I did most of my consumption with Spy. This connection back "home" brought me closer to BQ, safety, acceptance, and clarity.
     How I've missed home...

tabouli~ photo taken by VeagnBeats

family style noms~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     Post belly bulging, we scampered back to Towsky's and opened up my new wine and enjoyed my final night in Brooklyn.
     The details of the evenings needn't be explored, I just left feeling a lot of peace, grounding, content, and a better understanding of where and what I want to be. A whole slew of parts were/are talking and this sounds potentially awful and ungrateful of me to say, but for the first time in a really long time, I felt like I was stepping on some ground. I could see a bit clearer and I felt warm, safe...I was happy, I was present, and I wasn't stressing. I was joking around, feeling light-hearted, ate a huge meal and was good with it. All this comfort and "home" I used to feel was visiting me. My parts have been waiting for it and embraced these very comforting emotions willingly, almost hungrily. It felt as if these parts have been missing, left behind, taken...and we were rejoined, just for a bit, but I think I can see the ground, or make out a hemisphere...
     I feel so much better now that I've interacted with these parts again, I do feel like I've carried some of them back with me...but I'll get into this later.

Until later~

Sun In Bloom:
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner & Weekend Brunch
Hours: 8:30am-9pm {M,T,W,Th,F} Weekend~ 10am-5pm
Address: 460 Bergen Street Brooklyn, NY 11217
Phone #: (718) 622-4304
E-mail: info@suninbloom.com
Facebook Page

Mocha Hookah:
Hours: 9am-midnight Everyday
Address: 183 Atlantic Ave Brooklyn, NY 11201
between Court and Clinton St
Phone #: (718) 624-6764
E-mail: info@mochahookah.com
Facebook Page

Scotty Soul's Surprise

     October has been more than busy, stressful, emotional, and brilliant. It started off with the death of a brilliant man, upsetting family realizations, emotional roller-coasting, a draining wallet, and rounded off with birthday celebrations, party preperations, smiles, laughter, growth, an anniversary, new family members, Halloween jams, and November began with a SURPRISE!
     This is a silly side-note and apologies to my girl, but Hamlet and I celebrated two years together on October 26th! She has brought so much joy and love into my life! The nights I've ended snuggling up to her are immeasurabley blissful!

baby~ photo taken by VeganBeats~

     Anyways, Scotty Soul had his birthday on October 29th and since Halloween is on the 31st, it's been a bit neglected. For his actual birthday I made him a super veggie friendly but NOT vegan birthday dinner paired with a massive yummy salad~

up close, and not that pretty~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     When I was a little thrasher, my nanna used to make baked macaroni and my entire family and I would literally melt in it's scent. She would make a creamy roux, rich buttery smells and whole wheat flower, with soft cheeses, and baked with a crunchy ritz cracker and butter topping. Not healthy, but very comforting, and delicious. Scotty Soul isn't vegan, and I wanted to make something homey, comforting, and special...

     The non-vegan dish was a baked three cheese macaroni. The cheeses were feta, extra sharp cheddar (VT!), and pepper jack. The veggies I threw in were broccoli, spinach, kale, caramelized onions and bell peppers, and the topping was blended tortilla chips (less salt overall chyea)~ 

Scotty Soul's plate~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     The salad I made was chalk full of greens and all sorts of textured roughage. Iceburg lettuce, romaine, green and red leaf lettuce, spinach, kale, onions, broccoli chunks, celery, cucumber, and bamboo shoots! The dressing I made was my "friends with salad" dressing.
      One of the gifts I made for him was a custom deck~ Got a board, sanded it down (thanks to my neighborhood grocer for finding sandpaper for me~) and spent all night painting finishing touches while ruining four cakes...ugh

his deck~ photo taken by VeganBeats~

again~ photo taken by VeganBeats~

     But...BUT this past weekend a community that has nothing but love for Scotty Soul joined up at Braii Republic for a Surprise party! I still managed to ruin a couple cakes but eventually made two that I aimed to make! The first one was Jake the Dog from Adventure time WATCH THIS SHOW!!!

Jake the cake~ photo taken by VeganBeats~

     ...and the second was one of his childhood "dream" cakes!~ (Thanks to the goddess and stunning Carrie for helping me out =^ㅊ^=)..

dream pool cake~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     The Jake cake was a dark chocolate cake with white chocolate and cranberries with a coconut butter cream frosting with cocoa essence. The dream cake (the swimming pool cake) was a dark chocolate, cranberry, white chocolate, and peanut butter swirl cake with a dark chocolate and coconut butter cream frosting with raspberry and strawberry essence. The "pool" part was organic strawberry jam.
     The cakes themselves were vegan but the frostings weren't due to actual butter used (baked birthday dinner leftover ingredients) and the peppero sticks~
   

Introducing Gamja and Mandu~

     On the 19th I kicked it into 26 with loads of fun sticks, clever licks, and jams nothing short of esoteric~ I'm now in the upper 20's and entering the 26-50% mark of the "ideal" 100-year life! My birthday was full of lightness right from the start! It began brilliantly, and came to a close with an embraced and loving ease~
    I'll write more about it's overwhelmingly positive experience soon, I just wanted to introduce to all of you, and the internet world~ the VeganBeats family has gotten two more!

     I introduce Gamja (Korean for potato)and Mandu (Korean dumpling!)~

Gamja on the left and Mandu on the right~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     They're still teeny little pups and starting to grow a bit more adjusted to their new home...holy hell are they beautiful little pups~

morning snuggling, Gamja int he back and Mandu up in your face! photo taken by VeganBeats

     Hamlet is having a hard time adjusting to the new girls, she's already quite defensive and aggravated that she is having to share time and seems a bit more needy~ There were chatterings and a bit of fighting...they'll grow on her...sometime~

The VeganBeats' ladies, Mandu, Hamlet, and Gamja~ photo taken by VeganBeats

My Silverlining~

      One of my favorite things to do is snuggle up with a loved one, chatting away in a space of genuine love and content~ I'm not super happy or smiling in Korea, I'm still getting fired up and aggravated. I have a lot of silverlinings but, let's not fool ourselves, reality is undeniable. The facts line up but...I've got myself a sweet girl that has been the brightest of lights in Seoul!

    Also, she hasn't popped up here in a while...here she is~

one morning~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     No matter how upset, angry, saddened, disheartened, etc that I may be~ she's got me smiling~

Oncoming Wilderbeasts~

     Monday began sloppy, crazy, dissociated, incoherent-  Melissa introduced My Drunk Kitchen to me and since then, I'm just a little bit hooked. Sunday evening I kicked it with my crew and whilst showcasing and sharing this youtube gem, I decided that wine for dinner was a GREAT idea. It was, at the time. I had a blast, attacked my twitter and kakao, almost bought plane tickets, scheduled some new art "appointments", but...woke up still beyond inebriation. I had a small window of feeling pretty sober, just fuzzy, but alcohol digestion got me stupid hammered until two in the afternoon. Though...my drunk motivated me to be pretty damned productive. I snuggled with my girl, finished a book, studied French AND Korean, ran five miles, did an hour of yoga, and then~ finally got sober. While walking home I kakaod my lady:

"I feel like Mufasa walking against oncoming wilderbeasts."

     I recall walking forward, able to see then a rush of blur hit me and maneuvering around everyone seemed impossible. And anyone in Korea can resonate with how people here tend to organize themselves...I was feeling way way lost and so confused. I stumbled home and fell into bed where I put all my energy into trying to see straight. I downed water, ate something~ instant vomit...still groggy but naturally a bit clearer..I grabbed Hamlet and snuggled while stopping the spins and diving into my book(s).

Hamlet~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Time passed and everything was still spinning so in a stubborn and determined state of mind, I tried to do whatever I could to hit Sober city. First, I hit the books...I've been working on my Korean skills for a while, and am now revisiting the world of French. 

study study study~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     I got through a couple sections of Korean and a chapter of French until I started rolling into my books. Run time~ I threw on the essential running gear and tried to throw in my LMFAO but...it was too loud. Running silent was the only option...five miles in, and I was still a tripped up trotter. I shin-splinted home and got to downward doggin' yoga. An hour later, it was approaching two and I was slightly better. I had work in a bit, so this was another opportune time to go trek around, sweat or burn off more wine. 

     Sober city was reached right before my tutoring gig...ugh~

     After two hours of tutoring, I went on a two hour walk, grabbed pics of cherry blossoms and wandered my way to Noksapyeong~

Cherry Blossoms~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Where of course, Standing Coffee was visited and a large iced Americano was knocked back. I had dinner plans made with the wonderful Kia and Sean and was already eager to spend some time with great people, pups, and a cleared mind!

Powerful ladies stop for Standing Coffee~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Kia and Sean are...ugh too amazing! They have improved Seoul and Korea in so many ways~ I haven't seen them in a while and dinner dating is and was perfect! Kia whipped up another wonderful meal, but for starters....we had a wine cocktail~ I was going to swear off but...pureed mangoes, raspberries and white wine...?!?!

mango puree, waiting for that there vino~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Result, divine! Fresh, cooling, very summery, and something I will be making and craving again! This is what a Summer drink should be! 

...and now them razzies~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     For the main course, Kia made a lentil salad full of fresh basil, lemon juice, olive oil, cucumbers, carrots, and tomatoes! This was another great Summer salad, super healthy, full of flavor, and refreshing!

lentil salad~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Kia also made butter-bean cutlets, which we paired with all sorts of fixin's to birth a sandwich. Mine I loaded up with hummus, lettuce, tomatoes, the cutlet (of course) and both mustard and ketchup~ Drinks, salad, pups, beautiful people...Sober city is a nice place!

that there is a sando~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Kia and Sean have also taken in another foster pup (who thinks she's a cat)! Too cute eh!

derpy cat-pup~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Slow Positive Grind~

     The "funk's" been addressed, acknowledged, and on the verge of being better understood...I'm slowly (but surely) poking at some very missed waters. Last night I followed through with the being social goal. Social through a very manipulated definition, I was in the presence of some of those beautiful Seouls~ I haven't been in a very present or pleasant state of mind and position...which may clash with that "vegan yoga theory"-
     phbbt~ again, human first and still a vegan yogi. (I'm checking in more and my parts are screaming~ DO SOME DAMNED YOGA!)

find some peace (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Back into focus...last night was Phil's birthday (remember last time?) and parts of me, most of me- was on "bail" mode and I felt so much of me turning into the internal... The guilty parts barely murmur and a not so healthy-selfish part is turning to the isolation "solution." Which really...doesn't solve very much if you're not constructive with it. I haven't seen the Seoul crew in nearly a month, and I missed them. And I needed to get out, but I needed a push so...I turned to pharmacological activity, some neurotransmitter stimulation- I needed to get my endorphins going!

     Pushed through  core synergistics, walked Peta (fellow Veg-head's pup), used that buzz to crash through a shower, throw on clothes and before the isolating parts started drawing me in, I was out the door.

Hamlet and Peta! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     I'm really glad I did. I'm thankful for the friends I have here, I wasn't very social, or positive, but I was myself...and even if not understood, accepted.

     I came home feeling better, a bit more driven, and like I had some more edge to kick this funk in the butt! So much edge that I threw on some power colors...

power stripes (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     This post isn't doesn't have a lot of direction, but it's sort of a recollection/reflection of (some of) the frazzled and scattered deals being made.

Good night folks~
I promise some vegan jazz soon, pictures of carrots and kale isn't very drool-worthy...

slow down, drink some tea (photo taken by VeganBeats)

   
   
   

Just to melt your heart...a smidgen~

      Just some purring from my little lady~

I know the video is poor quality..but hey, the contents are more important on this front~

Mandu the anger~

     I'm still on with the goals & resolutions...EXCEPT yesterday I almost forgot my vitamin! I know it's not a huge deal, but I think taking vitamins in the am, as soon as you wake up is far more beneficial than taking it late at night...I feel like I messed my whole vita-loop. Ugh~
   
     It's the weekend now and I'm all around grateful for it. This week has been, on the sidelines a roller coaster. The new job front was full of all sorts of unnecessary complication and drama (ahh Korea~) and I was back in that cozy bed of "Where do I go with my life?" I mean, who isn't asking themselves this question? So many life references "figure out your life?" "what do you want in life?" "life goals" blah blah blah...yea, we're all a bit lost, confused, unsure...this journey has no map. My lack of settlement (hell, let's be honest, it'll be a while before that words hits my picture) gets me in all sorts of a tizzy. When all this job stuff started throwing itself in increments at a pool of lava...I grow downright grumpy, short-fused, bitter, and so...negative. I find myself internally snapping at EVERYONE...this week if I had a swear jar, it'd be brimming over. I know the whole aura of "vegan healthy" "heady positive" "VT hippy" and "yoga bliss" lady but...I'm human first, when things aren't in order, or someone throws a stick in my wheel (remember that scene in Breaking Away...cyclists, you know) instead of braking down, I get growling. I don't know where this shift happened. In the past, I would crumble, shake, or shudder at anything tripping up my path(s) but now~
>.<#

     I expect things to be followed through, when you say you'll do something, make a promise...make it happen. If I was a toilet, I'd take all the shit I was expected to, but...I'm not. When I make promises, I keep them; I take on responsibilities, I do them...I cannot understand not following through with something. And I mean with everything.
     Walking down the icy streets, or any of the streets (especially Seoul-side) how many times do you almost bump into someone because the person in front of you is walking then suddenly and abruptly stops? FOLLOW THROUGH~~~ If you're walking straight, in a crowded area, especially the subway...if you're walking, keep walking. If you need to stop...be like a good driver and pull over. I know this is little but...<~ little things are angering me.
     I did more yoga stateside...maybe that's what I'm needing? More "me" time? I'm finding myself wearing very thin over all the "idiocy" that runs rampant.

     When I got negative stateside, my mom and I would chill out and make one of two things...김치 (kimchi) or 만두 (mandu). Even if my mother and I were in those boiling-heated arguments where our words slit throats like butchers (hint~it's horrid...) making one of these things smoothed everything over. Maybe because it takes up time, preparation, concentration~ almost a repetitive meditation.
     Finding myself in a hot-headed position I attempted to deal with this anger in what seems only natural...만두 prep time. I had a bunch of the ingredients, threw on some groove salad and got a working.

pre crush~ photo taken by VeganBeats

mix mix mix mash mash mash (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     As violent as this sounds...chopping veggies really helps out with frustrations...the only result it really gets though (besides the potential lost digit) is a LOT of chopped veggies. I got a little crazy and attacked cabbage, kale, bean sprouts, carrots, onions, turnips, lettuce, celery, kimchi, and garlic...but for the 만두 I used everything but the celery...result~> Happy Hamlet!!

celery time~ nom nom nom (photo taken by VeganBeats)

    Okay, focus~ then I mashed a bunch of tofu up with all these veggies, added a splash of green tea salt, soy sauce, and a tease of sesame oil. Spooned this mash into some 만두 skin and~

ready to cook! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Get it all done...throw it into a fry pan and fry it up~ yeah, not healthy, but I only ate three.

Homer moan* (photo taken by VeganBeats)

    Worth it, yes...The 만두 mission/meditation was about 2 hours...and do I feel better...

bite (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Yes....


yoga time~