Saturday, February 4, 2012

Mandu the anger~

     I'm still on with the goals & resolutions...EXCEPT yesterday I almost forgot my vitamin! I know it's not a huge deal, but I think taking vitamins in the am, as soon as you wake up is far more beneficial than taking it late at night...I feel like I messed my whole vita-loop. Ugh~
     It's the weekend now and I'm all around grateful for it. This week has been, on the sidelines a roller coaster. The new job front was full of all sorts of unnecessary complication and drama (ahh Korea~) and I was back in that cozy bed of "Where do I go with my life?" I mean, who isn't asking themselves this question? So many life references "figure out your life?" "what do you want in life?" "life goals" blah blah blah...yea, we're all a bit lost, confused, unsure...this journey has no map. My lack of settlement (hell, let's be honest, it'll be a while before that words hits my picture) gets me in all sorts of a tizzy. When all this job stuff started throwing itself in increments at a pool of lava...I grow downright grumpy, short-fused, bitter, and so...negative. I find myself internally snapping at EVERYONE...this week if I had a swear jar, it'd be brimming over. I know the whole aura of "vegan healthy" "heady positive" "VT hippy" and "yoga bliss" lady but...I'm human first, when things aren't in order, or someone throws a stick in my wheel (remember that scene in Breaking Away...cyclists, you know) instead of braking down, I get growling. I don't know where this shift happened. In the past, I would crumble, shake, or shudder at anything tripping up my path(s) but now~

     I expect things to be followed through, when you say you'll do something, make a promise...make it happen. If I was a toilet, I'd take all the shit I was expected to, but...I'm not. When I make promises, I keep them; I take on responsibilities, I do them...I cannot understand not following through with something. And I mean with everything.
     Walking down the icy streets, or any of the streets (especially Seoul-side) how many times do you almost bump into someone because the person in front of you is walking then suddenly and abruptly stops? FOLLOW THROUGH~~~ If you're walking straight, in a crowded area, especially the subway...if you're walking, keep walking. If you need to like a good driver and pull over. I know this is little but...<~ little things are angering me.
     I did more yoga stateside...maybe that's what I'm needing? More "me" time? I'm finding myself wearing very thin over all the "idiocy" that runs rampant.

     When I got negative stateside, my mom and I would chill out and make one of two things...김치 (kimchi) or 만두 (mandu). Even if my mother and I were in those boiling-heated arguments where our words slit throats like butchers (hint~it's horrid...) making one of these things smoothed everything over. Maybe because it takes up time, preparation, concentration~ almost a repetitive meditation.
     Finding myself in a hot-headed position I attempted to deal with this anger in what seems only natural...만두 prep time. I had a bunch of the ingredients, threw on some groove salad and got a working.
pre crush~ photo taken by VeganBeats
mix mix mix mash mash mash (photo taken by VeganBeats)
     As violent as this sounds...chopping veggies really helps out with frustrations...the only result it really gets though (besides the potential lost digit) is a LOT of chopped veggies. I got a little crazy and attacked cabbage, kale, bean sprouts, carrots, onions, turnips, lettuce, celery, kimchi, and garlic...but for the 만두 I used everything but the celery...result~> Happy Hamlet!!
celery time~ nom nom nom (photo taken by VeganBeats)
    Okay, focus~ then I mashed a bunch of tofu up with all these veggies, added a splash of green tea salt, soy sauce, and a tease of sesame oil. Spooned this mash into some 만두 skin and~
ready to cook! (photo taken by VeganBeats)
     Get it all done...throw it into a fry pan and fry it up~ yeah, not healthy, but I only ate three.
Homer moan* (photo taken by VeganBeats)
    Worth it, yes...The 만두 mission/meditation was about 2 hours...and do I feel better...
bite (photo taken by VeganBeats)

yoga time~

1 comment:

  1. Wow, that fried mandu looks really good. I can totally imagine Kimchi as a comfort food, especially in Winter when it's so cold outside.