Today marked the last day with my school, the graduation day of my kindy kids, and some last hoorahs with my awesome students...
The graduation ceremony went wonderfully, the kids were fun, giggling, so loving, and everything went so smoothly...ahhh they're adorable ^^*!~
dressed up for "The Little Red Hen" play (photo taken by VeganBeats)
We rented some costumes...we went with farm animals and ahh soo cute. I want some of these costumes..Halloween huzzuh!
Jessica as the Little Red Hen! (photo taken by VeganBeats)
^^*!~ photo taken by VeganBeats
Eileen as Cow and Hailey as Dog ^^*!~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)
After the play we did "Old McDonald" and then the graduation certificates....darling
Haiely is beautiful^^*!~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)
A REALLY small class...but there is no measure for how lovely these kids are. I adore all of them so much and will miss them so much...they've touched my life ^^*!~
Teachers in the back, kids in the front 야!! photo owned by VeganBeats
Here are my graduates^^*!~
from left to right: Shawn, Esther, Jessica, Hailey, and Lynn ^^*!~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)
There were a lot of family members that came to support the kindy graduates...our special student was Eileen, she isn't graduating with her peers...but her whole family came to support her friends.
Penny and Eileen (photo taken by VeganBeats)
Alright, so in complete honesty...the only reason I was considering staying with EDLS was because of these two girls...these beautiful sisters. They are so smart and they have both gotten a decent amount of territory in this heart. They work hard, are so sweet, true characters, and stunning...in every sense of the word. Mush...mush is what I turn into.
After the graduation, I was able to kick it with them and..ahh thank you girls^^*!~
Playing in our indoor playground...
photo taken by VeganBeats
My afternoon classes were just filled with fun...lotsd of laughing, picturing, dancing...my kids were so thoughtful, they remembered it was my last day and were nothing but loving and warmth...
Clinging onto me...photo taken by VeganBeats
My afternoon kindy class was hilarious...insisting on playing hide and go seek in a room with only a table...where would they hide?
right after this she jumped onto me...photo taken by VeganBeats
"take pictures of us and chairs Vanessa teacher." photo taken by VeganBeats
my afternoon kindy girls...beautiful bright young ladies ^^*!~ photo taken by VeganBeats
My premium classes were a blast as well...these kids speak English rather well...and have been busting their asses the whole time...chill day in order, hell yeah.....
peace~~photo taken by VeganBeats
So didn;t mention it, my face exploded earlier this week...thanks to bangs you can't see by GIANT SWOLLEN EYE...apologies for looking scrubby
wha I look tired....peace signs^^*!~ photo taken by VeganBeats
My last class of the day is filled with some of the brightest kids...they're english is at such a high level and I've been supporting a heavy creative flow with them...I have successfully turned this class into a creative writing class (huzzuh) and they have me by the heart strings...
Going into this class, they shut off the classroom lights and screamed "Surprise!!" once I entered...and they all wrote me letters, drew pictures, gave me personalized gifts and organized a snack party! They all planned stuff throughout the week on what to do on my last day...they brought me to tears. I wasn;t expecting such a..loving energy.
Thak you Premium A....
snacking it up^^ (photo taken by VeganBeats)
카프리썬 (caprison) photo taken by VeganBeats
Leaving my final class I got hugs, love, and lots of warmth...hell I'm going to miss these kids a lot...
A great blog, eatyourkimchi.com, recently did a blog on Korean ramen and...well this lady got a little inspired.
~~I had a lot of yummy veggies just kicking it in my fridge so I decided to throw them all together and..well whip up something delicious!
And behold^^*!~
more veggies than ramen obviously ^^*~ (photo taken by VeganBeats)
I first steamed a bunch of broccoli, garlic scapes, carrots, bok choy, and kombucha squash. Kombucha squash has quickly become an obsession, it's sweet robust and flavorful...AND on sale at Homeplus for under 2,000\!! Anyways, after steaming, I threw in a bunch of water, some dried mushrooms, and the ramen seasoning packet...(vegan ramen...nom nom nom) and then after about 10 minutes I threw half of the ramen and more water and just let it marinate...via boiling! Ahhh...maybe I should re-write a better recipe..AND::
What you need:
*ramen packet (doesn't have to be vegan for you omnivore folk ^^*!~)
*water
*Veggies, and plenty of them. I went with broccoli, carrots, kombucha squash, bok choy,and garlic scapes (all chopped)
*dried mushrooms (optional)
What to do:
1. In a decently sized pot, boil a couple cups of water
2. Add the veggies, when the water is boiling; starchier tougher ones first (squash, carrots, scapes, etc.)~~dried mushrooms before everything!!!
3. After about 10 minutes add the ramen seasoning and let the veggies soak up the flavors...
4. Then add the ramen and let the noodles cook through...
5. In the last 5 minutes, add the bok choy (they're still crunchy this way!!)
6. Add more water if you like soupy...less if you want less soup!
Enjoi^^*!~
The ramen suprisingly added a nice additional texture to the mostly soupy veggie concoction....anyways,...thanks eatyourkimchifor the inspiration ^^*!~
Mental adventures for my Saturday, I didn't go out, didn't really socialize...meditated. I didn't quite plan it, it just happened, very much needed. I have been in a bit of a funk...all too familiar statment right? These continuous waves of kissing "balance", immense dissociation, and then faltering lows, where I can't really gather my thoughts of feelings...like an explosion, fragments and thousands of bits are flying around me all too quickly and I can't grasp onto one thing...one thought. I've been feeling lost, thought much happier in Seoul. It's almost as if I have no idea what to do with myself, I have far away thoughts and plans of thigs I want to do, but gathering enough motivation has become a struggle. Independently exploring things is becoming a burden. I want to do things alone, have that self-reflection, but I want to be with company...but at the same time, I desire isolation amongst company, I want no words exchanged, no acknowledgment, I want a body there so that I don't feel isolated. It's very strange, I know I love people, but I want nothing to do with them lately. I want no judgement outside of my own, and the presence of others only promotes an internal perception of external judgement that I then take in internally. I manipulate and create external opinions and take them in, and usually to fuel some sort of negativity.~~ guilt
~Today was a very mindful day due to a mental and emotional dare I say inspiration. I have felt very limbless for sometime, that ice cream scoop has taken a chunk out of my chest...grounded in quick sand blah de blah...anyways, re-entrance in some factor and thus this surge of energy and imagined support urged me to reconnecting with the things I used to love doing, my routines I thoroughly relied upon. I woke up and put on a lot of Ravi Shankar and stated my morning with an hour of silent mindful meditation, then two hours of yoga...followed by more meditation and a walk outside. I didn't speak a word or make a sound for over 20 hours...and just let my mind free flow and allowed the parts to speak. My dissociative parts took a break today...
~I know I've been sad, didn't allow myself to be sad though. There may have been a few tears squeezed out, but I didn't allow myself to be sad. I shushed the parts, silenced the thoughts and neglected to accept.
~I'm scared of being sad in Seoul, of opening that gate and potentially letting all that darkness in...or out. But this is a journey and I want to learn (again) how to sit with my parts and if not accept, acknowledge them.
After the mindfulness, decided to play in my kitchen...
~~here's what ended up happening~>
I have one week left in this apartment and too many veggies needing some love...so I decided to make some noms for the week...packing for the move slowly....this is what I'll get to enjoy over time ^^*!~
steamed veggies with a carmelized soy garlic sauce...photo take by VeganBeats
Eatyourkimchi.com recently posted a video about "gourmet" ramen and I decided to do a vean spin on it...using the vegan ramen and lots of garlic scapes, cabbage, and steamed lettuce...whipped this guy up...this will last me a bit I think...definately.
photo taken by VeganBeats
And lastly, while on my walk I passed by maybe 3 donut vending stalls...and lots of kids nomming on side street donuts, I remembered having a lot of leftover flour and random ingredients and decided to expeiment and make some vegan donuts...I will bring these to the kids, I'm not a sugar or sweets girl, but they cam out looking super cute (and heartstopping....hmmm)
donuts ^^*!~ photto taken by VeganBeats
The rest of my day was still followed by silence...I just uttered a word while talking to Hamlet (yes, I talk to my kids (animals).) So the 20 hours of silence has just been broken.
~~although a parts-filled day, I feel better and slightly accomplished. I despise feeling lazy...time to reconnect with the things I routinely relied upon...goals~:
*read everyday....everyday (I just dropped about 60\ on books incentive?
*write everyday (this is a passion I have put on the back burner for a bit too long...)O:
*yoga everyday...ugh I love this stuff why have I put it on pause
*mindful meditation daily, even if it's only for 10 minutes
*at least an hour of silence daily....SO needed
Here's to tomorrow....
~I'm going to the house of sharing....whaa
~~approaching the last week with my kids...so I'm concentrating on having a lot of fun with them. Of coursefocusing on providing the best lessons possible and I hope I'm making some sort of impact. These kids have done so much for me whether they are aware of it or not....hell I'm going to miss them, they're all so brilliant and caring...
Today I brought in my camera just to capture some of the kids doing whatever fun stuff they would be doing, they only leave me with surprises!!
^^*~ photo taken by VeganBeats
love love love these kids...
photo taken by VeganBeats
The two boys*!~
photo taken by VeganBeats
The girls are too cute!!
photo taken by VeganBeats
My premium class~creative writing...ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ
photo taken by VeganBeats
photo taken by VeganBeats
My kids have been requesting my drawings...here's all of them with my quick cartoons!
When I was younger I remember one dish my mom used to make that was....amazing! It was full of tons of veggies and chicken and had peanuts in it, the sauce was a sweet garlic brown sauce and every ingredient complimented one another very well. My brother and I used to watch my mother create this savory masterpiece and literally drool in anticipation. For some reason I thought about the dish, I've been missing family....so I decided to recreate it...of course sans chicken and this time with the ingredients I had on hand. I only had cabbage, spinch, garlic scapes, mushrooms, and chickpeas!
^^ photo taken by VeganBeats
Considering I had no recipe, and only my 5 year old memory to work with...it came out pretty tasty!!
What you need:
*veggies (whatever you want...recommend cabbage and garlic scapes ^^*)
*some protein source
*handful of red skin peanuts
*3:1 ratio of soy sauce and some sweetener
*1-2 T garlic
*1-2T oil >_<#
What to do:
*cut up and prep all the veggies and add oil to a pan~med high heat
*add the garlic scapes, cabbage, and chickpeas (protein) and mix
*add the lighter greens and peanuts after about 5-7 minutes and continue heating/cooking for another 4-5 minutes
*when everything looks cooked through (taste if you must) add the garlic and mix thoroughly
*then add the sugar and soy sauce
~~enjoi^^
Animal street, a place near 동대문 where you can get all sorts of animals, my heart literally dropped and melted. Tons of supremely young animals stuck in cages being eyed
at...I wanted to take everyone home...but I'd only be supporting an inconsiderate industry...
Without a doubt there is a whole slew of Animal abuse that occurs throughout the world, being disconnected with animals and the fact that they also are emotional loving beings is a "blissful" ignorance that many willingly eccept. My friend brought me here thinking "세희 you like animals right? I will take you to aplace where you will like."
He didn't understand that liking animals involves caring for their general well-being...he didn't understand why I was getting upset and angry. Hundreds of animals were crammed into cages, being sold by googley eyed mis-informed individuals enjoying the idea of having something so cute in their posession. Not only are animals bought for their looks but aren't valued, at all. The sellers need to make money, these animals are a product. On top of that, the sellers have no knowledge about proper care, "feed the hamster 1tsp of rice." Many of the animals are too young, frail emaciated things, shitting and pissing on one another.
There were tons of exotic animals too, shivering outside, clearly not accustomed to the chilly environment of Seoul right now. The parrots were covered with damaged feathers, the groundhogs were scarred on their noses (from frantically trying to escape their metal homes), and the chipmunks were suffering from panic attacks. I wanted to take everyone home with me, and at the same time I wanted to get out of there.
Why are there places like this??
groundhogs, adorable, sad and scared (photo taken by VeganBeats)
you can't see the missing fur on this guys face )O: (photo taken by VeganBeats)
Can you see the fur missing from their noses?
After leaving animal street I needed to get a load of silence and walking in. I was (and still am upset) my friend couldn't understand. The unworthy environments that those animals are forced to be in coudln't be grasped onto. Many of the animals were very sick, and in such small places, without any issues their "roommates" will also get sick. I have never seen so many torn up faces, matted fur, bleeding eyes, and open wounds...and still people will go to this place, buy the cute animals and support the sellers. I understand they need to make money, but on the account of lives...
Anyways, here are some prettier places I was able to let my eyes and angry mind feast upon...
photo taken by VeganBeats
Seoul mind you is prepping for much romantic-ing...ahh Valentine's Day...>_<#
photo taken by VeganBeats
Got some self-stressful news the other day...it's the weekend....I'm ready to do something...
The other night I saw the movie, "P.S. I Love you" and it inspired a lot of inner thoughts and reflections. It brings me to tears thinking of those that are no longer in your life, specifically, the film got me thinking about that rock that is absent.
How I am "experiencing"-(atleast desperatley trying to)-all these things and there is the abse. I know that my physical body exists, and is in many ways complete...there's this ballooning gaping hole that exists where my gut and heart are, if that makes sense. When I walk, I know I am walking, I mean I'm moving...the environment around me changes, but I'm not in touch with my body parts. I'm not floating...just moving. There's no contact with the ground beneath me...I'm still standing on quicksand...but with a disconnected smile.
One of us could actually pass, and permanently leave this life...the chance is very much possible. My heart is loudly pumping in my chest and my circumstances are catching up to me. The combination of the inspired thoughts and the events of today (and last night) scare me. The years of...tolerance...I have forced my body to actually go through (maybe it isn't completely myself...parts of me) are catching up to me. Confirmation..all over weaker...damage has been done. I don't so much fear being alone...
I'm worried about...not feeling all of myself again.
You’re exhausted, I can feel it.
I can see that you want to leave.
I can’t breathe without you here.
I can’t see. I can’t feel or hold you.
I’m tired. Stop, stop, stop, stop right there.
I’ll take a step, step, step to escape.
I keep screaming that it’s too late, that I can’t change, that it’s the end!
So I can believe, I’m not alone. Now I’m not alone, there’s no reason for sadness.
And I can feel it, I’m not alone, Surely not alone, never to feel exhausted.
One more time now, Down, down, down, down.
(No, no, no, no!)
Down, down, down, down.
(No, no, no, no!)
Even if time passes by, I’m not alone.
Because of you, baby.
I can believe.
Even if I get over you,
Memories will remain.
I can’t heal the scars that I carry.
Time keeps stop, stop, stop, stopping here.
Another step, step, step to escape.
I cry that we’ll never go back, that we’re too late, that it’s the end!
So I can believe, I’m not alone. Now I’m not alone, there’s no reason for sadness.
And I can feel it, I’m not alone, Surely not alone, never to feel exhausted.
One more time now, Down, down, down, down.
(No, no, no, no!)
Down, down, down, down.
(No, no, no, no!)
Even if time passes by, I’m not alone.
Because of you, baby,
I can believe.
Even on nights that are pitch black, I can’t breathe without you.
I’ll never be afraid again, because of you!
So I can believe, I’m not alone. Now I’m not alone, I can turn everything back.
And I can feel it, I’m not alone, Surely not alone, never to feel exhausted.
One more time now, Down, down, down, down.
(No, no, no, no!)
Down, down, down, down.
(No, no, no, no!)
Even if everything breaks, I’m not alone.
I only need you to know,
I’m not alone.
You’re not alone.
~Depressed, not exactly, remorseful, still disconnected...fully aware of all these mixing emotions whirl-winding internally, but not allowing myself to really sit with them...they're merely whispers, momentearily screaming or yelling....but never long enough to get a full sentence in.
I'm waiting to feel my knees again...
As John Cusack says from Nick Hornby's High Fidelity~ "Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"
After a couple days of heavy family time, this woman was craving some 친구 time...and of course my body was missing some serious dancing, which means~>홍대!!
I've generally nervous about going to 홍대, which sucks, because I do really love that part of town. There is so much life, things to do, places to check out, and funky nooks...along with really interesting people, not to mention a whole slew of cafes!! People watching is never disappointing when in 홍대!!
I haven't been as active as I should be and that has been heavily reflecting my general mood, endorphins need to be shaken up. I get in this cycle of feeling really self-conscious and uncomfortable so I don't go outside, and then I am not active, and my endorphins aren't being built up or anything...continuous. Anyways, dancing and 홍대 and time with friends is all you need to fix that up ^^*!~
Anyways, met up with Stephie and some new friends and we wanderd into Mama Gorillas, yes, the owner's of Papa Gorillas have opened a NEW lounge bar about three minutes from the original location. It's really chill, lots of tables, and dancing poles...it was pretty dead a bit early...I usually don't hit it to 홍대 until 11:30 or midnight, was there around 11...but it picked up! Then to the staple place, my original kick it spot, Papas...needless to even say, 소주, lots of dancing, pump worthy music, and good crew. It was a little slow, so we went back to mamas to meet up with some more of our crew, eventually ended up back at papas..more dancing, more laughing, and as always...didn't get home until 8am...
ahhh 홍대 사랑하요!!
Won't go into detail, but positive directions, positive moves...
Then earlier today met up with a new 진구 over at 혀화 statin for some coffee and chill time. Productive day, got my walking, my dancing, my laughing, and my movement in....
Anyways, being a vegan blog (if I did the math, I feel like this may sadly become a 홍대 love blog...eeeeehhh) here some vegan noms I made up a while ago~>
I got a bit motivated and on account that I'm moving soon (Woot woot^^*!~) I thought I'd better get to doing something with the gluten flour I had sitting snuggley in my cabinet...so made a load of seitan steaks...
seitan! (photo taken by VeganBeats)
I have to work on mastering this, they came out really juicey and full of flavor...but they almost broke apart, I baked (cough toasted several time sover cough), pan friend, and steamed a bunch...ehhhh
호박전 (photo taken by VeganBeats)
Classic, easy, and reminds me home...zucchini pancakes...^^*!~
random steamed 야채 with a soy sauce garlic glaze (photo taken by VeganBeats)
Steaming veggies is all too easy and simple...This was a lot of spinach, cabbage, turnip, a bit of mushrooms, and loads of garlic!!! The sauce was a simple 2:1 mixture of soy sauce and sesame oil, about 1T sesame seeds, 1-2 cloves of garlic, 1tsp of agave nectar, and 1-2 tsp of hot pepper flakes...^^*!~
It's Saturday and this woman is straight up chilling...finished a book today, hung out with friends, wandered, explored, did some yoga...wrote....and drank plenty of tea and coffee....
and about to hold my own dance party...soon enough, I will be closer to people...준개 you suck...)O:
So the Lunar New year was yesterday...a very long, pleasing, and nostalgic day ^^*!~
So a belated: 새해복많이받으세요!! ^^*~
Tradition holds that you go to your elder's house (oldest in the family) and in this case I went to my 할아버지 and my 할머니 home*!~ It is a day of respecting your elders and ancestors and...just a very family oriented day*!~
The day before the actual lunar year you spend the day preparing food and 반찬 This food will be presented to your ancestors and then eaten by you..ㅎㅎㅎ
The Lunar new year involves a lto of eating, traditional games, and respecting those wonderful elders of yours...and you say "새해복많이받으세요." while bowing, hold out your hands and get money. But you only get money from thos eolder than you...aiii
Anyways..my New year consisted of kicking it with family, making more 만두 then imagined, eating and Jack Black.
When I got there..there were lots of Vegan Eats...whoa...I never eat this much...holidays, you kill me
traditional 떡 국, ginseng roots, mushrooms, lotus root, mountain 반찬, and 잡채 (photo taken by VeganBeats)
김치만두 mission~~
김치 만두 (photo taken by VEganBeats)
김치만두 pre-steamed (photo taken by VeganBeats)
김치만두steamed and fried....whoaa(photo taken by VeganBeats)
There were also a series of rice cakes and deserts grabbed to celebrate this lunar new year!!
from left to right: persimmon rice cakes, citrus rice cakes, a bunch of bready (non-vegan_ bean cakes, and sesame seed/oil cookies (photo taken by VeganBeats)
close up of the rice cakes/crackers...pine nuts, citrus, and persimmon (photo taken by VeganBeats)
I don't know what these are called but the can be made vegan and though not healthy...nom nom nom~_~
sugar weakness right here....>_<# (photo taken by VeganBeats)
After ltos of eating, laughing, and kickign it, we all went to Jack Black's new movie Gulliver's Travels....U'll review it later...but ending with a cute shot of my grents*!~
I've been making 반찬 all day...but foolishly left my camera at home, so have no pictures of the process...aii
But I did manage to go for a decent walk yesterday during my break...no longer -0 degrees CHYEA*!~
My body is already desiring greater outdoor activities..winter you better hustle up....
photo taken by VeganBeats
Before I leave this place, I'm going to walk down this whole thing...
photo taken by VeganBeats
After work I rambled over to a Lotte department store to grab jazz for 설날...whoa, this place was packed...I got rammed into by at least a dozen carts...bruises to prove
in line for chesnuts (photo taken by VeganBeats)
photo taken by VeganBeats
I lost track of time (again) when I got home and ended up doing who knows what...it rolled around 5am and I knew I had a busy day planned...설날 반찬 prepping...
I left my camera at home so I wasn't able to capture any of the WHOLE DAY process or family laughs...but when I got home I snapped some shots of the noms we prepared today*!~
forgot what this is called and 호박 전 (photo by VeganBeats)
My favorite here...mmm lotus root....^^*!~
photo taken by VeganBeats
Garlic scapes*!~
photo taken by VeganBeats
Dried squash...thanks 할머니^^*!~
photo taken by VeganBeats
And my ,이모 made her signature 잠채^^*!~
photo taken by VeganBeats
After about 8 hours of prepping...time to rest and relax....
Tomm will also be packed...lots of family tasks, games...and more food prepping...
I fear this diet of mine and fasting intentions just took a vacation from existence....>_<*
