Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013 blip~

    2013 has come to a close, and I cannot believe all of the events, challenges, moments, and life I have experienced during it.

    I'm in such a different place from where I was last year. And I am so beyond grateful for the lessons, opportunities, challenges, and connections this year has gifted me with. I'm proud of myself and astounded at all the things I've accomplished, chugged through, and faced head on....even if my tail was between my legs.
photo by Veganbeats
Briefly reflecting, and not in direct order...

*I learned how to snowboard (fall and break a rib or two) and LOVED it.....hell I'm nervous and shaking a lot but...I did it! And I plan on bumbling down some crowded slopes soon!
*I overcame my massive fear of bananas...! (I may get scared again...later on in life...but...hey!)
*I started working with a GREAT team of people that support me and have my back...I actually love going into work now!
*I completed a series of paintings for a restaurant.
*I have had a few commission pieces this year including book illustrations, Christmas prezzies, and a record cover...AND MORE for 2014!!
*I started doing more modeling...nude body paint modeling and actually having fun (LOOK BELOW!)
*I did a fashion show (hahaha)
*I've significantly cut down my gluten intake, and eat raw nearly 80%
*I learned how to pickle watermelon!
*I went BLONDE!!!
*I fought my stubbornness and started going back to therapy again. Genuinely so happy I have...I've been struggling and losing myself so long...and there's a landing spot now. 
*I co-founded and owned a business
*I had a release party for that business
*I met a lot of people through the business and in so, linked up with a few brilliant artists
*I left that business
*I organized a fundraiser, and it went super well!!
*I started writing again, and preformed my pieces at Wordsmith
*I spoke about my rape in a public setting 
*I reclaimed my name
*I fell in love...again! And it has been such a brilliant relationship!! 
*I moved in with Scotty...and it has been full of challenges, but far more laughter and love!
*I wore a bikini....a handful of times
*....in public!!!!
*I went on a hike by myself and did so to disengage from destructive behavior...so rewarding and a BIG step!
*I spoke genuinely and vulnerably to my mother...and we're growing ever better
*Started an excellent safe community with some brilliant leaders (Disruptive Voices)
*Disruptive voices was featured on the Herald and on CNN!
*I learned that taking "me" time and not going out, regardless of friend's asking me to...is totally acceptable and necessary at times
*I started becoming a bit more social
*I lost myself this year and become so dissociated that it scared my old business partner, friends, and my partner....and then myself. (aha...therapy)
*Scott and I did out FIRST collaborative piece...and we've got more to come!
*I've grown comfortable and more open with Scott...I never thought I could trust someone so completely and love someone again so much more dearly!
*I met some new kindred spirits and feel like old souls that I once knew in past lifetimes and adventures
*Scotty and I traveled out of Seoul and we went to beaches and ate like guinea pigs
*I've seen all my girls grow and develop greater more prominent personalities...they are the gift of life
*I almost completed a detox cleanse...and plan on kicking off the year with another one
*I discovered (and got hooked on) goji berries, lemons, and chia seeds
*I started eating breakfast!
*I had stuffed peppers!!
*I've had terrible, awful, eye draining, lung crushing fights...
*I've gone 6 months cut free!
*I significantly decreased alcohol consumption! (Haven't always drank much..but in Korea!!)
*I've been destructive free for 1 week this year (ahhh HELL CHYEA)
*I've worn dresses that fit my body...a handful of times...and in public!!!
*I went to a restaurant with friends!
*Scotty and I spent a couple days in the summer biking around!
*I saw a double rainbow...and it came at a perfect time when work was particularly draining as it layered such a shitty self day
*I conquered another food fear and had a blended drink at Starbucks...WHAT?!?!? 
*I was able to cry in front of my friends
*When I was crying and feeling really in harms way...I was comfortable and strong enough to call a friend
*I've stuck up for myself...to my friends
*I met and shared so many wonderful times with Scotty's family!
*I've gone to bed laughing and I've woken up smiling
*I've stepped away from some friendships that did more harm then good...for myself
*I started making my own popcorn!!
*I'm advocating more for myself and doing things that are better for myself. I'm avoiding places that put myself in a level of discomfort that prohibits me from moving "forward". 
*I go out of my comfort zone to achieve the things I feel will bring me closer to my dreams
*I'm dreaming....a lot
*I introduced Scotty to my family...and brought him to Kimjang!


Lady Deadpool (body paint and photo by Corey
Lady Deadpool (body paint and photo by Corey)

    There's so many more challenges I faced and obstacles I overcame...and most of them, I had bloody knees, bruised ankles, and torn pride...but.
     I look forward to the growth and experiences I'll get to call my own or share with countless others and potentially newer faces. I've got a few goals in place...

I'll write up another post in the future...about challenges I will set for myself!
photo by Veganbeats



One is that I'll come back to this blogging world...hell, I missed you!!

xxx


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