Monday, November 8, 2010

internal thoughts....sleepy pig*!~

     Mondays...beginning of the week, confirmation that the past weekend did in fact come to a close...I wish I could have stayed in bed all day yesterday....(O;
     Today was similar to others..but a wonderful person left my work today, will miss you!!
  The usual hour by hour classes, routines went by quickly but I just feel a bit off balance. Not negatively, just a bit of a teeter totter. At the moment I'm coloring big pictures of animals for an open class tomorrow, I'm more anxious about it than excited...nervous because I want to do a great job but...can't wait for it to be over. This week is going to be a bit of a tough one. I have to move into a new apartment on Thursday, and will be working all day until 7pm so can't really do anything until after 7. Stephanie and some coworkers (awesome awesome Seouls) will be helping me, but I haven't really started packing up my stuff because I've been working and stressing over other, money, work..etc etc etc.
     And I still find myself in my head, in that space of negativity sometimes...I never sit in it for too long, I feel that it itself feels unwelcome in I've brought all my emotions and parts with me on a trip and it was the only one without an the kid in class that was the only one to not get a Valentine card. Pretend to be proud and unaffected, but more than upset...fighting back tears, behind an angry scowling expression.
     Anyways, I can feel it leaking in, overhearing conversations, trying to wheedle itself into my life and thoughts...desperate desire for influence. I've worked too hard, done too much in my life to easily allow it to have such a hold and so much power on me...

Been doing a lot of dissociating, along with a lot of work...thinking as always, something I do too much of....

Happier notes....Hamlet was sleepy today and chirping away...head shots*!~
sleepy pig
photo taken by VeganBeats

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