Snuggling up with my "Child side"

     We are a compilation of parts; an immense mix tape of genres, songs, instruments, melodies, tones, and vibrations. There are no other albums like us. 

 

~~~~Not too far beneath my surface lies a sensitive, naive, and very childlike person; my imaginative curious baby part. Along with that, nestled right next to it is a space cadet. A wide-eyed child filled with dreams and colourful spouts of energy, itching to twirl into her magical world of creativity. I'm trying to get greater connected with these child parts; explore the majestic surrounding that I once marinated in. I want to support and exist in the imagination and support endless creativity. I'm still attaching my fingers and energy to creating art and making physical pieces, and while doing this as of late, I've been immersed in the fascination of hybrids and animals. I've always had a thing for fantasy, spirit animals, powers to turn into an animal....animorphs. If anyone remember this particular series, a bunch of adolescents had the power to change/morph into any animal...but only for a two hour limit. If they went over this limit, they were forever in this form. I've created and built a list of animals I would and WANT to morph into and experience and ground with...
     I've been absent for quite a bit of time, apologies. I wish I had some vegan food porn to provide you with...instead, here are some art doodads that I've been doing...fostering this little witch inside.

foxy girl...step one, by VeganBeats

Foxy girl, step two...by VeganBeats

Foxy girl, finished~ by VeganBeats

Wolf Womyn, step one~ by VeganBeats

Wolf Womyn, step two~ by VeganBeats

Wolf Womyn finished~ by VeganBeats

Gargoyle Angel Girl~ by VeganBeats

      These ladies are simply for fun....for now, and I want to work with 'Wolf Womyn' a bit more....(my wolf obsession as of late is not very well-hidden)... I'm using ink, pencil, marker, and coloured pencils...
             Oh...and doing some eye practice!!

eye practice, pencil~ by VeganBeats

     I know it really isn't perfect, or that good but....persevere and determination, along with being anal and a jerk-faced perfectionist...someday~
    Vegan noms side...not 100% gluten free, but 95%!!! And...I've been eating a bit too squirrely (nuts, seeds, and dry fruits) which does add loads of protein and fiber to the body..but fat, and my mind is a bit of a toxic place when it focuses on this particular womyn. I've been feeling lazy (ergh) and want to up the fruit intake, lower the nuts and seeds (but keep up fiber), and soon I will embark on a detox cleanse.....fighting!!!

Now in Nowon~

     I've been without a personal computer for a while now and (regardless of how obvious this realization will be), I have gained so much more time and general appreciation for my surroundings. I still access email and facebook (eghhhm) but have swapped afternoons home and reading random news, dreamy recipes, and tumblr rolling with stronger bonds and friendship(s). I've been in a great place just connecting with people and getting that buzz from being social.
    Though~ I've missed this blog. I have been eating delicious (and simple) things, been doing some art projects, bonded with some beautiful Seouls, and actually breathing~ (And now the air is cleaner...Nowon!) I've stuck as gluten free as presently aware of (I'm a learning gf baby) and still use soy sauce from time to time (tamari...I'm hunting around for you~) but I have knowledgeably turned my head from being 100% gf...how could I say 'No thank you' to my student's grandmother who put so much effort into making a vegan meal? And one time I really wanted a beer... I can keep this up, but I've been dreaming of pumpernickel rye bread lately.
     I have my final day of work tomorrow and I have been counting down the hours. I will miss (some) of the kids...but I am eager to have more time to do my hobbies, spend more time with friends, and just live more. More often than wanting to admit, I will sometimes just go to work and come straight home, no social action, no activity, no creating...not even stretching or kicking it with the girls! All around pumped...anyways~~ Here's a few things consumed by this lady...

Smiles~

Special vegan kimchi for me!! photo taken by VeganBeats

yummy Thai salad~ photo taken by VeganBeats

Fresh juicy mango fruit salad~ photo taken by VeganBeats

It's been a few, jja?

     The academic year is coming to a close meaning~ I am almost finished with my current teaching contract. Whasa!!

     I've been missing from the blogging world due to computer heartbreak and setting nearly all time aside for myself, girlfriends, my relationship, the girls, and snuggling up to art. While doing loads of Veganbeats-time, I learned how to snowboard! I've always admired and envied the steezy loudly-colored boarders back in Vermont and grew nervous about the very idea of strapping your feet to a board and gliding down mountains. I went to Jisan a few weekends ago and with some very lovely and patient guys that really brought the brightness to it. I crashed, fell on my ass, ate loads of snow...and broke my ribs~ Then I went the weekend right after and far more nervous this time, but still...what a wonderful sport. I cannot wait to get these ribs of mine healed and connected so that I can "shred Gnar" again and feel the burn and strength in my legs....until next time Veganbeaters~

chilly and swollen-faced~ photo taken by VeganBeats

Beautiful men~ photo taken by VeganBeats

    Other news~ the ladies and myself are bundling up to Hagye, where there are mountains, lakes to stroll by, parks with grass, and fresh air...

loads of love~

Gluten-free, Guilt-free

     Heyo Veganbeaters~ hope January has been treating you with all sorts of glory and love filled bits! I'm still riding the gluten-free train and exploring a bit more with the grocery options that Seoulkicks are offering. Issues...barley (the only grain here I can allow myself to be alright with) has gluten! WHAT?!~ And I sort of seriously hate rice, but I'm working on allowing it very slowly back into my diet. Yech...the quinoa train is blasting my way and I'm not really wanting to acknowledge its presence. The other day I was thinking (dreaming) of bibimbap and thought to steam a pumpkin and use that as my "rice"...I got a spicy mash of glory instead. Semi-fail and uncomfortably filled tummy.
     Anyways....here are some eats I've been playing with and spoiling my body with. Everything has been focused on high fiber, high protein, and as stripped of fat as possible...I honestly want to make full-flavor, zero calorie, energy-providing food...someday.
      For my birthday a while back, my lovely buddies Pol and David gifted me with homemade, home-dried gochu garu, or Korean red pepper powder. With that I made a heaping vat of tomato-kissed spicy tofu. I had more than enough to last a week and the protein drop got me through my knee-bolted running shenanigans~

spicy tofu~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     Still riding the protein caboose, I made yet another vat of something...this time chili. But first, I started with a rich and flavorful salad that would make all rodents squee in a sing-songy daze. Iceburg lettuce (my weakness and preference), red leaf lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, sprouts, spinach, kale, and loads of seaweed...all dressed in a garlic, mustard, balsamic vinegar mixture...fat free, full-flavored, all organic and energy pounding. 

     The chili was better than I expected. I soaked black beans and lentils overnight and boiled them until they were soft with a mixture of parsley, chili pepper, gochu pepper, black and white pepper, and chili mix. I caramelized onions for starters, threw in carrots and chopped tomatoes, then the beans, kale, garlic, chili flavoring, and the beans. I crumbled tofu on top and let it simmer for a few hours. My apartment smelt like home and my tummy was filled with more gluten-free, high protein, nearly fat-free warmth. I'll have to try this again and get a recipe thrown on this page...cravvve~ 

salad and chili~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     After one serving and a ground-breaking productive yoga session, I simply had to have another while painting some sexy ladies. This time though...vegan bacon, kimchi, and loads of dijon mustard...a bit of a stoners take on messing around with flavors but it worked and I had chili for the week~

ladies and stoned chili~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     More eats and adventures to come...my computer is still whining a bit, if only chili could win it over.

Clouded Clarity...

     Since the states, since so many stupid, venom-scented and kissed words have been exchanged, shared, and spat around...things are coming into place. Wounds are being acknowledged and bandages are being prepared. I've come to this place, this ground-point where I can start to see a horizon, maybe foggy and blinding, but I can make it out. Love is still very much alive.
     Since my return, where anger and hatred held its hand out to me along with pain and sensitivity, yoga has bumped it aside and wrapped around my fingertips, pulling me into a long-awaited embrace. I've been practicing daily and my parts are all coming to the surface, all of them are speaking and finally...not being ignored. Though I'm discovering (ever still) that ones my parts want to comfort in, aren't prepared for them, and my parts are quite defensive when other's parts simply can't compute what they are really doing or asking. They're a force, vulnerable, and desperately seeking acceptance but the ever-continuing theme that keeps screaming for focus is patience. I need to accept and learn from them first, and am doing so.
     This will be of greater focus for this year, not for anyone else but myself. I need to seek and find patience with myself...in nearly all outlets. I must breathe, be easier on myself, cut some slack...but not make laziness and lethargy interchangeable with that patience.
     As convoluted and blurry as the setting may be, and essentially overwhelming all these parts asking for acknowledgement may be; I am nothing but thankful and grateful for their determination. Daily yoga, daily meditation, reflection, and the openness with myself to just hear what's going on is refreshing. I'm accepting this path and this balance...as unbalanced as it may be.
     Growth, greater understanding, and achieving at least a greater mental and parts understanding will only help me progress...namaste

Checking in~

roobois tea and a handful of raw trail mix~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     I haven't rolled into the blog world for a bit now...(trend ya?) and there are several reasons...
My computer is telling me to give it a break, the screen is simply not having it. I've been crowding it with too many crime show series; panicked actresses and actors inspiring fears of the population in me, and scrolling through guinea pigs needing homes or new gluten free vegan blogs. Also, I've been furiously engaged in ideas and life-decisions. I've been covered in acrylics and mental notes while riding some sort of insane gut-busting park ride. I've also been cleansing this tired body of mine, ridding any gluten I can, and consuming loads more fruits (assah!) Yoga has been easing her way in (easing..phbbt she's charging), I'm sewing, designing, and genuinely been in a bit of a sour/sassy/down mood. Replenishing my body with tea and sleep and emotional-focus...the new year has been feeling good but trying.
     Just wanted to give a little check in and say "I'm around...and sooner than later will be busting into these VeganBeats."

Until then~

Someday...I'll be an animorph~ photo taken by VeganBeats

Peace 2012...heya 2013~

     2012 is wrapped up and out the door and when I make the conscious choice to reflect on what the past 365 days has brought me, granted me, and taught me I can't think anything but "what a ride."
     2012 kicked off with hiking...but throughout this year my mother and brother visiting, went to Seoul Fashion Week, got introduced to HipHop, found love, learned and explored the art of photography, ran a race or two, went to the Philippines, lost my harabugi, got two little babies, lost Goguma, went home to my best friend's wedding, lost Binger, reconnected with BQ buddies, reconnected and embraced art, did a music video (or two~ look below for the videos!)...I've grown, challenged myself, faced obstacles (and overcame them), fell on my knees, cried for days, baked more, made active moves to take care of myself, stripped out some negativity, and become more healthily-selfish.
     It's been a turbulent year, but there are a handful of silverlinings and so many lessons I've taken with me. I look forward to 2013...

Some goals for this new year~
   Setting up short-term ones so that when I achieve them, I'll feel that much more motivated to continue!

1. eat breakfast everyday...if you don't have time, throw an apple in your bag. 
2. finish one art piece each month (at least one...the more the better)
3. gluten-free, cut out and decrease the amount of my gluten intake
4. yoga 4/7 days a week (work up to 2 hours practice)
5. gym time at least 3/7 times a week
6. never miss a day of work...you will save more money and be free of guilt (work focused)
7. snuggle all the girls daily (I already do, but keep this up!)
8. DON'T eat after 7pm...it'll postpone sleep time and you'll feel better if you keep this one
9. if I do get hungry, drink tea/water and if my stomach is still screaming and I have no will-power (am weak) go for an apple, cucumber, orange, grapefruit, or half a carrot. 
10. at a certain point, just go to sleep. No matter the "due" date or how necessary you think something is, a good nights rest will be more rewarding...sleep.
11. visit family once a month, give them a call too!
12. Keep up with the dishes, the filled sink won't be so painful then
13. walk a mile (or more) a day...this is easy, just do it. 
14. skype family at least once a month (been good with this, keep it up)
15. be easier on yourself...

Happy New Year from Mandu, Hamlet, and Gamja~ photo taken by VeganBeats

Happy New Year...welcome 2013~

Beautiful Stars, Black Ilumin

Black Light Jellyfish, Lookas Roar