Thursday, May 30, 2013

This isn't very "vegan" or food related...tumblr worthy at best

     One of my best friends just got married and throughout the adventure, the beginning, courtship, wedding, celebration...I was here. On the day of the wedding, I thought of him and his wife and of my friends that would be physically at their celebration. I've been pouring over pictures, watching videos, and as happy as I unbelievably filled with love for both of them~ I am so deeply saddened.
    I wish I could have been there. I miss my friends so terribly much.

     I've been in Korea for several years now, and I've built some friendships here; ones that I treasure and embrace...but my family back home, my friends, Bearquarium...I don't know what I can say.  I'm feeling down, empty, lost...I'm struggling and I don't feel like I have anyone to turn to. I'm feeling like I can't talk to anyone, or just "be" around anyone....I feel/fear/and filled with nerves, judgement, discomfort, and...petty. My life currently is work, art, prepping, design~ mostly holing myself into a corner. I know "getting out" would be helpful, if not essential...but I'm alone.
     When I was just buzzing nuts, someone was down the street...if someone was bored, I'd get a call or some beautiful face would be at my door, when I was lost; someone found me...when I was heartbroken, someone was there...even if I didn't call. I miss this...I miss this so terribly much.
     Seeing the Bearquarium family celebrating and sharing in one of our own getting wedded, my heart is longing. I wish I could have been there, I wish I could have shared in it...I wish I could be amongst the family again. And as much as I do love my friend(s) here...I wish I had that comforting, safe, loving community I could just be around...and breathe around.
Bearquarium! photo snapped by VeganBeats
Even if not physically available, Bearquarium is a huge part of my heart...and we're there for one another in spirit.....

I wish we were a couple blocks away....

love to BQ

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