Friday, November 23, 2012

Lanterns for thoughts~

   Finally, after years of being in Korea and simply "thinking" about the Seoul Lantern Festival, I checked it out! I met up with some beautiful Seouls and we wandered around and checked out all these beautiful art sculptures that light up the Cheongggyecheon stream!
photo taken by VeganBeats~
photo taken by VeganBeats~
photo taken by VeganBeats~
photo taken by VeganBeats~
photo taken by VeganBeats~
     Admitted, this is a post using the festival to wander into other things that I am SO EXCITED about!! Next Saturday, I'm rolling stateside for a wedding, joining with friends, hugging family, snuggling Binger...
It can't come at a better time. My frustrations with Seoulside and in Korea has negatively influenced how I feel about myself, my current life position, and the energy that I bring with me. I am happy and thankful for and about so many things, but there's a definite trend of easily-triggered upset.
     I've been calling to the natural and chemical mood-lifters, asking my body to urge and motivate endorphin build-up. I've been active and engaging in physically pushing my body to feel that natural high, and while doing so, I do feel happier and my mind clearer. Art is becoming a growing trend and doing more things for myself, free of externally imposed guilt has allowed my parts to be more accepting of one another.
     I'm doing a little self-celebration right now~
     But I am also very aware that even though I'm feeling more positive now, there is more for me to explore and understand about myself and where I really must be.
     This past weekend, a friend expressed his observation of my energy, how he feels I am happier now more than ever. He then said that my sadness and general depression was annoying and a "pain in the ass." I appreciate his honesty, but this inspired a lot of concerns and questions...reflections in myself and those I do chose to surround myself with.
     A friend's state of being, in my idealistic world, is one to be accepted. Not criticized, there are always parts of you that find the parts in others to be distasteful or not enjoyable, I aim more towards accepting those parts and being patient in a way that~ my upset has nothing to do with them, it is my own parts reacting in that/this way.
     Returning, I then thought how unaware some people are. Claiming great observational skills and a keen eye for people's energy inspires me to laugh and snarkly deny those "statements." How unaware others seem to truly be and how well my parts work together to mask a lot of things that I churn in this bucket. I am now in a position where I recognize that in myself, even more so, I've been ignoring a lot of parts or just avoiding many of them.
     Regardless, next Saturday I will be back stateside and am confident some clarity will be found and I may start to feel a bit more ground.

A week~

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