A NEW fruit has entered my life....

     In my last post I mentioned I discovered (and tackled) a (fear food) fruit. I'm glad I have~

     I have avoided this vegan essential (and favorite) fruit for years, YEARS because the idea of the texture disgusted me. The smell, shape, dog-with-peanut-butter-on-the-roof-of-it's-mouth-face you make when you eat it....gross. That is, until I started craving sorbets and "ice-creams." Finding affordable sorbet is nothing short of a mission and I've been challenging myself daily, so I figured....DA DA DUNNNNN

bananas were worth giving a shot. 

...And I have invested all my cash, fridge was looking bleak, AND they were on sale at Homeplus for a MASSIVE bushel for 3,500원!

     I've been a recent stickler for breakfast time, I want to wake up my metabolism and get my body used to getting fuel in the mornings. A frozen treat I figured would be a fun way to start the day, and I wanted to torture myself a bit with having to face a challenge for the entire day. I froze a bushel of bananas (five per packet~ 520kcal!!!!!!) and in the morning I experimented FIRST with the frozen banana, green tea powder, chia seeds, flax seeds, psylium husk, organic ginger and cinnamon, and organic sugar-free all natural cherry extract. I watched the mixture turn into a mush with fear and apprehension...imagining my tongue slap against the roof of my mouth, face drooping, and tummy punching out through my dress...I was freaking out a bit. I threw it into a bowl and before I could start screaming, I threw a baby spoonful of my concoction into my mouth....and everything in my being started smiling. HOLY SHIT!!!!

Do I like bananas? What is this high fiber, low fat, organic, AND healthy concoction? It's rich in potassium, omega 3, fiber, AND...there's bananas involved?!~

photo taken by VeganBeats

     I just got myself a bit addicted. I went back to Homeplus and bought FIVE more bushels and chopped them all and threw them in the freezer.
     I even splurged on an iherb

(my code is NUJ580) 

order JUST so I could manipulate frozen bananas even more!
     What did I get?! Chia seeds, hemp heart seeds, MORE psylium husk, smooth move laxative teas, nutritional yeast, and veggie bacon bits....AND~I am now a mama to WHEAT GRASS!!! (I've wanted to have shots of these for over a decade and now I can whenever I want to..mwahahahahahhahah!!!)

My iherb stash` photo taken by VeganBeats

     The next morning, I made myself the banana "ice-cream" again but added blueberries, vanilla, AND hemp seeds. yummm~

photo taken by VeganBeats

    After that, I did something a bit different. A bunch of bananas, raw sprouted almonds, chia seeds, psylium husk, pomegranate tea, ginger,cinnamon, hemp seeds, and WHEAT GRASS!!! Sweet, vitamin rich, grassy goodness~

photo taken by VeganBeats

    I'm really glad I've challenged myself with bananas and have found a way to take in potassium...in a smooth and rich HEALTHY and manipulated way~

Next though....Strawberries~

I've been on a Space adventure...quick~

     I cannot believe how long it's been since I've visited these pages and this world...I've been in a rocket ship and exploring a few other planets, though fun, I'm still needing to check back onto my planet!

     The past couple months have been nothing short of busy, apologies for checking out of the veggie world (not entirely...just the blogger veggie world)~ I've been shoulders deep in my new business and baby, Varyd! It's pronounced "varied" and it's a clothing line owned by myself and my fellow warrior, Rydia. It features all different types of art, designs, and creations! I've been hella pumped about it, and in that, slipping all over obstacles...but the greater the mountain, the better the view!

the Varyd logo~ designed by VeganBeats

     We had a launch and I don't think I slept very well the whole week prior, and diluted all my drinks with my tears...but on the night, everything collected into a positive and loving space and ground point. My friends and loved ones...How can I thank you enough?

Veganbeats wearing "Varyd girl"~ photo taken by Corey Malcom Lajeunesse

     With Varyd, I've been more consumed by art and exploring the creative sides of me that craved to be coddled and snuggled into safety. I've been wrapping my fingers around ink pens and crouched over drawing pads and...it feels wonderful! I've always loved and appreciated art...but after a horrific chain of events (someday I'll share...here) I simply couldn't touch my art parts. I stopped writing stores, poems, songs, stopped painting, scratch boarding, drawing...all of it, I couldn't do it.
     Every time I tried or attempted...these awful daemons would tear at my insides and I'd be shaking with an explosion of emotions and thoughts.

It was the darkest and more fearful chaos. 

    But, about two years ago I picked up a pen and started to doodle again and my skills slowly came back...and are still coming back. I've been focused on grouping myself back together again, pulling in the lines that left parts of me so far out at sea.
    I'm going by "Vanessa" more regularly now...I feel like I'm coming back. Parts of me are coming back. With that, I'm still struggling, but I am still challenging myself... (I've discovered a fruit...again~ this will be later)

Anyways...just wanted to check in, say hello, give an interspace hug and...share a few photographs!

progress picture of commissioned record cover!~ by veganbeats

progress and lady practice~ by veganbeats

Check out Vayrd too, there's so many great things happening with it...
 

Oh yea~ I'm a blonde pony now!!

wearing the sleeveless Varyd logo tank~ photo taken by Corey Malcom Lajeunesse

   

Pickle That Watermelon~

     It is hot in Seoul and I'm determined to actually spend the Summer in the sun...not giving into the fan temptress. Anyone familiar with Korean cuisine knows that once the sweat starts bubbling, the menus and food served changes...a LOT! Summer season (in my opinion) has the BEST Korean food. Pat Bingsu 팥빙수 (icy flakes with sweet red bean, rice cakes, and assorted fruits), naengmyeon 물냉면 (cold ice noodles), kong guksu 콩국수 (soybean broth noodles), bibim naengmyeon 비빔냉면 (spicy buckwheat noodles)...ahhh, it brings me back to the summers where my mom would make cold noodles and my brother and I'd crack the ice cubes in our teeth. ::sigh::
     I'm also wanting to eat a hella load more fruit this Summer...stateside there's loads of watermelon sales...kilos for a dollar OR LESS!! In Korea, 6-7 kilos of the sweet watery fruit hits 13-20,000 won (that's about 12-18 USD!!) I've already gone through five watermelon in the past two months...I plan to eat way way more of them.
     I usually give the outer shell and rinds to my girls, they like to jump inside them and eat the juicy bits~ if only we could play with our food and get away with being heart-stoppingly adorable right? Well, I got a pretty massive watermelon earlier this week and remembered years ago my mom made kimchi with the rind, and being the vinegar lover and pickle peddler I am, I wondered if I could pickle them! Strange enough, the next day, Food Republic wrote an article about doing just that! I got on it like a kid desperate to win twister.

I had to alter the original recipe due to not having any star anise...womp womp~ Chinese pepper to the rescue!! 

Servings: 2 big containers~

Ingredients:
*one medium watermelon, about 4-6 kilos
*3 T green tea salt (or salt~)
*3/4 cup coconut sugar
*3/4 cup of white vinegar with 5% acidity
*1-2 T Chinese pepper

What to do:
*Cut and gut the watermelon...save the yummy stuff for whatever your heart and stomach desires!
*Peel the rind off of the watermelon with a veggie peeler and throw away the dark green bits. Cut the white part into 1/2 inch cubes and put them into a big bowl.
*In a separate bowl, mix salt and 3 cups of water and pour over the cubed/cut rinds...let this sit for a day
*Drain the rind and rinse them well, then combine them all with the sugar, vinegar, 3 more cups of water and bring everything to a boil. Once the sugar dissolves, shut off the heat and let it cool down.
*Sprinkle some Chinese pepper in the bottom of the containers you're going to use and once the "pickles" are done, move the rinds into them and cover them with the pickling liquid.

These should store for a week or more...~

cooking up on the stove~ photo taken by VeganBeats

all done and contained!! photo taken by VeganBeats

    Aside from stuffing my gut with watermelon, SoulScience and I have been gallivanting the roads and paths of Seoul with our swanky bikes and making discoveries....I've got more photographs to collect, as there are more places to stumble upon! But we did roll into a massive veggie farm, where I just about melted....natural response when surrounded by cucumbers, lettuce, and tomatoes....right?

CUKES~~~~ photo taken by VeganBeats

    I'm not the only one enjoying the Summer crop~ Hamlet has a thing where she zombie-mauls any and all tomatoes....

Vampyre Pig~ photo taken by VeganBeats

This isn't very "vegan" or food related...tumblr worthy at best

     One of my best friends just got married and throughout the adventure, the beginning, courtship, wedding, celebration...I was here. On the day of the wedding, I thought of him and his wife and of my friends that would be physically at their celebration. I've been pouring over pictures, watching videos, and as happy as I am...so unbelievably filled with love for both of them~ I am so deeply saddened.
    I wish I could have been there. I miss my friends so terribly much.

     I've been in Korea for several years now, and I've built some friendships here; ones that I treasure and embrace...but my family back home, my friends, Bearquarium...I don't know what I can say.  I'm feeling down, empty, lost...I'm struggling and I don't feel like I have anyone to turn to. I'm feeling like I can't talk to anyone, or just "be" around anyone....I feel/fear/and filled with nerves, judgement, discomfort, and...petty. My life currently is work, art, prepping, design~ mostly holing myself into a corner. I know "getting out" would be helpful, if not essential...but I'm alone.
     When I was just buzzing nuts, someone was down the street...if someone was bored, I'd get a call or some beautiful face would be at my door, when I was lost; someone found me...when I was heartbroken, someone was there...even if I didn't call. I miss this...I miss this so terribly much.
   
     Seeing the Bearquarium family celebrating and sharing in one of our own getting wedded, my heart is longing. I wish I could have been there, I wish I could have shared in it...I wish I could be amongst the family again. And as much as I do love my friend(s) here...I wish I had that comforting, safe, loving community I could just be around...and breathe around.

Bearquarium! photo snapped by VeganBeats

Even if not physically available, Bearquarium is a huge part of my heart...and we're there for one another in spirit.....

I wish we were a couple blocks away....

love to BQ

Summer Season, Blues challenge....ish

     Most people tend to fall upon a brighter disposition once the weather gets warmer and the sun takes its time when passing.
     I am one of those people that gets lower...reverse SAD right?
     One of my goals this summer season is to take advantage of the natural source of vitamin D and not crouch inside. I want to be active, welcome in the rays, and replace anxiety and all (some of) that self-hatred and negativity with that summer beach goddess glow~
    To help with that, I've been trying to eat fresher, healthier, nutritious foods...so a lot of "sorbets" and smoothies...and using fresh herbs! At both Costco and some Lotte Department stores I've found Sambazon Organic Acai Berry juice! It's a bit pricey but SO worth it! I fell upon Sambazon several years ago at my very first Bonnaroo festival, after nourishing my sun-burnt and wasted body with the acai berry bowl...heaven was reached!
    I've been making sorbet/smoothies with Sambazon's organic acai berry juice, organic blueberries, organic strawberries, white chia seeds, psyllium husk, and sometimes coconut, ginger, or fresh mint!

     Bliss~

my herbs and a smoothie/sorbet (topped with grated coconut!) photo taken by VeganBeats

What I do~
*1/2-1 cup of frozen blueberries
*4-6 frozen strawberries
*1 T white chia seeds
*2 T psyllium husk
*1 cup of Acai Berry Juice
~ Throw it all in a blender and drool!!! When it's at the consistency you fancy, top with fresh mint, ginger, or coconut!!! (Hell, spoil yourself with a drizzle of agave!)

     Ah, on top of that~ I have the smallest herb garden chilling in my window! I have lemon mint, rosemary, and two basil plants!!! Lucky Vegan Steeze! 

nommmmm~ photo taken by VeganBeats

     Here's to the sun and getting brighter with it!

Hummus

     Itaewon has always been a food hub bursting with ethnic eats, cafes, drinking holes, and NEW restaurants.
     The other night I met up with my favorite, Pol for a catch-up date! We stumbled upon a restaurant that JUST opened called "Hummus." My eyes lingered, my heart jumped, and my attention was grabbed.

     How could I avoid anything that has any relation with hummus?  

photo taken by VeganBeats

      The place was very roomy, lots of seats, and their menus were on clipboards. Pol and I glanced over the menu and decided to get a hummus plate. We expected to get an actual plate...what we got was a small cut of hummus, a palm sized piece of pita bread, and three thin celery sticks, three thin carrot sticks, and three small green beans. What gives? Top it off, this "plate" was pricey, too pricey. The menu had hummus everything but is all was very expensive, a salad cost 23,000 원!!!
    The hummus itself though was alright, it was beany and not doused in olive oil (thankfully) but it wasn't great. It needed more spices, garlic, and all around flavor.  

photo taken by VeganBeats

      Considering this is hummus, that's great...I'm glad to see this glorious dip getting attention. But this place is far too expensive and the portions are meager. I don't think I will visit this place or eat here again, unless I have a gift-card or a freebie. I would love for hummus to be shared with everyone who's never eaten it, but in terms of Hummus the restaurant, I can't imagine being content when you get a small portion in exchange for more than 10,000원.
    We were disappointed and decided not to eat there for dinner. Honestly, I wouldn't recommend this place unless you want to spend a lot of money and remain hungry. Make your own or buy hummus~

location:
Itaewon station (line 6), walk straight out of exit three for about seven minutes or so,
Hummus is located beneath Thai Orchid.

Speachless (Boston)

     There's been a lot of focus and attention directed at the safety and potential danger "living" and thriving in Korea. I know there's been a lot of news circulating the risks of an attack by North Korea and in result of that, I've been getting more than a fair share of concerned e-mails, messages, phone calls, etc. All of the senders and callers being from outside of Korea. People here, in Seoul have paid very little to no attention to the threats expressed. Everyone continued on with their daily lives; went to work, drank with friends, went to school...I got nervous. But purely from the concerns of international loved ones. The frantic emails I received fed a very anxious and obsessed part of me, my nails have suffered. I started to draw up plans of escape, chattering away like a drugged-up chipmunk, poking at my partner's nerves, tearing up at the very idea of losing friends, loved ones, my girls...my life. I was unwillingly consuming the fear that was being given to me. I was having a hard time looking away from it; it was if I was immobile and stuck in a looping video.
    Given panicking and actually conceiving the idea of losing so much and so many here, I've neglected a lot. This blog, art, peace, calm...I don't think my loved ones realized or recognize that their concern provided a generally greater danger to my self...in many ways. I am here, I am in this life here, Koreans are around me, I  am contacting the embassies often, my friends are in the army here...surely if an attack or threat was pending, there's be some noise. Reason wasn't being made...and the high-pitched squeals of concern got me annoyingly panicky. I was, in my opinion, being force-fed US news, and international story coverage. The fear inspired by ignorance (and maybe boredom) struck great distress in those not here, not close to N.Korea, not physically aware and invested in what is actually occurring in the lives here. Granted, this can all be quickly dubbed as ignorance on my part...I'm not omniscient, but I am able to step back and now, now observe issues that are pressing with the population here.
    I'm present again, grounded, grateful, and significantly less distraught...I'm painting, drawing, and designing; substituting living with fear with general presence. 

    I wrote this all a day or two ago, feeling better gathered and collected, relaxed. That is until earlier yesterday morning I discovered that my city, Boston is now in healing and pain. The Boston Marathon is something we're so proud of, so excited for, so grateful for. It's a celebration and adventure that lives on many "life lists." I know that I myself would someday love to take part in the marathon. People from all over the world collect together in Beantown to test their bodies, achieve their goals and dreams, raise awareness, prove themselves, live their spirit, be present, test, love, and live...to live.
    I didn't discover what had happened until I "liked" my friends status about how his heart was with Boston. I liked it due to Boston pride, a genuine love for my city. Seconds later, I saw so many more "Boston love" statuses being shared..."what's going on?" I googled Boston and the pages and pictures of crying faces, blood covered streets, twisted pained faced, lost limbs flooded my eyes and saturated my brain.
     My heart stopped, my chest heavy, my eyes pressured. My city? This marathon? This event? Boston...this city that holds onto so many memories and adventures, so many memories, try outs, jobs; the place where Jaxs, Vicki and I went when we ditched the High school homecoming, where I met with Ian to check out photography, where I saw so many shows, where I drove through every time I went to Vermont, where I went to a parade to every year with my family...my city.
    Then I saw the loads of support, the love, the Bostonians rushing into the shrapnel, smoke, and blood to help those in agony, in shock. I saw people being wheeled out, rushed to hospitals, people running to donate blood, posts of homes being opened up to strangers...Support.
    I then saw angered people on facebook posting completely insensitive and inappropriate statuses where blame and hatred was spewed. Pointing their fingers at Muslims, Jordanians, Saudi's, North Koreans, etc. I grew further saddened and disappointed. That is not what Boston is about, what we are...that abhor is not what America needs to be and should be. The quick backlash and hatred directed at those that are unknown, different, foreign ..the reality is that the awful monsters that committed such violence and hatred and disruption of joy and peace could be American, could be the "American norm." The hatred and negativity is apparent, and their is anger, but now...most importantly is there must be love and support. For those affected, those that lost their lives, those that had lives lost, those that are troubled, scared, damaged, in critical condition, for Boston and for the people that took part in this marathon.
    I do believe that those responsible will be found and held accountable. I believe Boston will continue to be the city I am so in love with and proud of. I believe that people will come together and do what's right and just. I have a lot of hope and love for what happened, and a lot of sadness. The barbaric and horrific actions taken by so many, the bombers, the accusers, the bias, racist, sexist, and hateful~ you are out numbered by the good, the loving, the caring, compassionate, and the positive.