One of my best friends just got married and throughout the adventure, the beginning, courtship, wedding, celebration...I was here. On the day of the wedding, I thought of him and his wife and of my friends that would be physically at their celebration. I've been pouring over pictures, watching videos, and as happy as I am...so unbelievably filled with love for both of them~ I am so deeply saddened.
I wish I could have been there. I miss my friends so terribly much.
I've been in Korea for several years now, and I've built some friendships here; ones that I treasure and embrace...but my family back home, my friends, Bearquarium...I don't know what I can say. I'm feeling down, empty, lost...I'm struggling and I don't feel like I have anyone to turn to. I'm feeling like I can't talk to anyone, or just "be" around anyone....I feel/fear/and filled with nerves, judgement, discomfort, and...petty. My life currently is work, art, prepping, design~ mostly holing myself into a corner. I know "getting out" would be helpful, if not essential...but I'm alone.
When I was just buzzing nuts, someone was down the street...if someone was bored, I'd get a call or some beautiful face would be at my door, when I was lost; someone found me...when I was heartbroken, someone was there...even if I didn't call. I miss this...I miss this so terribly much.
Seeing the Bearquarium family celebrating and sharing in one of our own getting wedded, my heart is longing. I wish I could have been there, I wish I could have shared in it...I wish I could be amongst the family again. And as much as I do love my friend(s) here...I wish I had that comforting, safe, loving community I could just be around...and breathe around.
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| Bearquarium! photo snapped by VeganBeats |
I wish we were a couple blocks away....
love to BQ
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