Even if something didn't happen, realize it could...

     My parts have grown rather disappointed about things, loads of things throughout my past. When it comes to the nature of things to how business works, and in terms of people and their level of common sense I've felt a fair share.
     Friendships, more so sisterhood...I can't wrap my head around the dumb shit girls pull on one another. (girls being children) Now, being a girl isn't bad, when we are girls ladies, we are naive, hoping for the best, expecting Aladdin and Eric to save us, woo us, and treat us so well that we serenade green pastures and temples. Every guy, boy is a Disney prince or Lloyd Dobler. There's this assumed trust with everyone, no one will hurt, harm, take advantage of, or pull a quick on one you. And even if they do, some genie will show you how truly good they are.
     Where am I getting at~ there's an assumption, a dissociation and disbelief that it is possible to fall victim to horrid events. The classic "That would never happen to me" thought. I wish, ugh I wish this was true, that for everyone (focusing on ladies here) would never be victim to violence, physical, mental, sexual..any of it. But that sadly and  regrettably is not what is happening.
     It is existent throughout the world, some countries have more supportive legal systems and cultures than others. Sadly though, even with this support, coming forward and getting a "healing response" isn't as common (as it should be).
     Aside from the legalities, more intimately consider those you surround yourself with. Are they careful, protective, team players, good friends?
     The dating scene in Korea is more or less forced awkward room blending between you and your friends and a group of guys. You share drinks, sing, talk, whatever. It's not just for dating, but to meet others too (you're a guy, I'm a girl...wait, we can be friends too?!!). Males and females don't interact one on one, or as friends. It's so couple focused here that genders tends to stick with one another. It's like a middle school dance, cootie central; during that slow song, you can bet that no one's going to dance until they're some fruit punches deep.

     Ladies, in this situation, in these events, don't leave your girls high and dry. It is NEVER cool, smart, or safe to just peace and leave one of your girls alone with new "friends" (cough strangers). It's risky, disrespectful and the "What could happen" thought is a load of childish bull. Be a friend, be a sister, stop being stupid and choosing to be naive. I'm not saying every man will do something horrible, but leaving a friend alone with people you barely  know, and welcoming riskiness is such a shit move. At least let them know what you're doing.
     This is one situation, but there are so many. Don't leave your friends, if you're to meet with them, made plans, etc...stick around. Keep them posted on what you're doing. It is a big deal, it is important to protect yourself and to be aware.

     I'm not saying something will happen, or that everyone will be assaulted, just realize that it could happen, and does happen far more often than we'd like to believe.

Loving Hut: Hannam

     On Sunday Sean, Kia, and I tried to hit up Garobee but UGh~~it was closed!!! So we ended up going to the Loving Hut in Hannam. ...

part of the interior (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     The interior was cute, and so quiet. We ended up nomming alone!
I really enjoyed the wide open windows...

cute view (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     The menu is not listed with loads of offers, there are staple plates like 비빔밥 (bibimbap) and 킁가스 (donkas). It's small, so for something quick and cheap, this place doesn't disappoint. I think if I was hoping for more options, other Loving Huts would be the go to's.
     Kia and Sean are so knowledgable about loads of things, but they also know about what's worth nomming on and not. I went with their recommendation and got the 순수채 킁가스 (soonsuchae donkas, 5,000W) which is a flaky fried soy meat patty served with rice, pickles, sweet potato mousse, and a salad. I'm not for fried things usually but this was pretty good. It was crunchy, flavorful, and paired well with the tomatoe sauce it was served with.

my plate (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     Sean went with the 쌀주물럭 쌈밥정식 (Ssaljumuloek Ssambabjeongsik, 8,000W).This was mirroring 불고기 and came with loads of greens and 반찬! I gave Sean my rice because...eh you know!

nom nom nom (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     The time for 빙수 is ending...I didn't indulge on enough of it! We grabbed one of these and ugh, what have I been missing out on! The blend of sweet fruits, pillowy 떡, crunchy ice flakes and sweet beans...I don't care...I'm making it an Autumn staple.

pre-mix (photo taken by VeganBeats)

post mix! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     The food as always is inexpensive, satisfying and tasty. If you want more options, stray from here...but worth the wander!

Map this out to find it (desciribing is proving more complicated)
Address: 2F, 657-92, Hannam-dong, Yongsan-gu, Seoul
Phone#: 02-3217-2153

hinting re-evaluations...worth deeply considering?

     Where do I stand...what do I want, what do I not want?

verging weeps (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     These are questions loudly and more frequently storming my mind...I'm discovering more unsettling things about myself...ones I've pushed aside or at least have aggressively tried to shove into back corners. 

     As strong as I (try to be) am...this tough skin is easily ripped. As straight faced as I attempt to be...tears press forward faster than a hateful (and protective) stare. 

     Korea has been...good. Reflecting over the past moments I've been here, I am grateful, thankful but the bluntness and lack of sensitivity many people claim Koreans harbor hasn't hit me until recently. I've come face to face with the blunt remarks and no matter the "trying" comfort from others...it's a stabbing fork swirling the intricate brain twistings. External confirmations of the internal screams...as shallow as this sounds: I wish I smiled when I looked in the mirror. I wish I was as confident as I try to sound. Damn, this may be vulnerable. 

     I'm not the only person feeling especially sensitive...women seem to experience this far more than our fellow men. So much critique and focus on our "flaws", our bodies, our qualities. 

     My friends...ugh...they so often talk about their insecurities, vocally criticize fellow women and...I try to understand whether this is just what "girls" do, competition, vocal self-reflections of personal worries,...beyond that, no, more personally~ it ruins my mental state. I hear my fellow ladies talk about another's outfit, how they feel too old, chubby, etc...it FREAKS me out. I start reflecting heavily, and deeply into what they must be thinking of me. How I am right, my inner fears are all correct...I want to live in shadows. Their concentration, and light chucklings of who's looking worse (that competition of 'no I look worse' 'no, I do') causes my parts to bury all of me into an all around negative state. I don't want to get so much attention on it...but...I'm reflecting that with some individuals...I feel worse. I feel horrid, disgusting, and like collapsing. Their insecurities, whether legitimate, true, or trending-strongly and very highly influences my personal distaste. (I'm not alone on this...I'm human~ deal) I'm discovering that in order to see something resembling self-preservation...maybe I can't be around these people. Or maybe I need to leave when I start hating on the self (louder than the usual buzzing dissociation) 

I'm not saying their selfish, they aren't...but, we're all sisters. We get enough shit for our physicalities and "idealistic" traits...I try to be beyond them, disregard them...but I own up to my hypocrisy~ as beautiful as women are, as strong and fierce as we are...as strong as I know I am: I feel like the ugliest person around- 

I wouldn't want anyone to feel the way I do. So even though I am being hypocritical~ women, learn to love yourself, and in that stop hating on your sisters. 

It kills me...it is killing me. 

sketches....playing....reconnection

     I want to reconnect with productivity. I've always been artistic but lately (since I've been here) I've barely kissed it. I've done writing, and have even played with sound, dabbled in premature photography but sketching, scratchboarding, painting~ where have they gone. Tucked away deeply in old passions, hidden amongst all the other things I've dissociated from.
     I've reassigned myself to daily "5-minute sketches."Soon enough, I'll get more into production...
I've forgotten how much I've missed it. Granted, the followign images aren't very well done, they're quick and lacking a lot. Practice...practice...practice~ attempts

weasel magic coffee (illustration done by VeganBeats)

Hamlet (illustration done by VeganBeats)

     I must work more on people...

Andre (illustration done by VeganBeats)

overwhelmed with love (illustration done by VeganBeats)

     Ugh~ shaming

AWEH art show

      This weekend was...loaded. The first night proved...disappointing to say the least. I went to an old area and...was slapped in the face with mediocrity. I am aware this sounds cold, and rather critical, I don't mean to sound hateful...this is reflective. I need to do me more.
     I have been reviewing what I've been doing here, who I've been kicking it with, what I've been involved with, etc and there are many changes I've got to do. Re-evaluating moves...I have some wonderful activities and people, undeniably so, but there is more I need to be doing.

      Anyways, Saturday morning was AWESOME! I went over to Noksapyeong to steal some oven time over at Kia and Sean's place while playing with their adorable cats and pups! We ended up spending the day together and just kicking it. I learned some World of Warcraft from baking goddess and dear friend Kia, got introduced to Jersey Shore (O_o#), engaged in thought-required conversations and had an all around wonderful day.
     Kia whipped up some power packed smoothies that I have been thinking about since first sip!

     I LOVE kale, LOVE IT! And Kia threw a BUNCH of that awesome green leaf into a strawberry and banana smoothie. I have't indulged in a smoothie in...jeezum, years! This reminded me that getting a blender would do me well! After baking and chilling I stopped by home only to shower and return for an Art Show!!
    AWEH was having it's launch party and the plan was to kick it there! AWEH is: "...a subculture webzine that documents creative culture across the globe. We aim to capture casual creative culture and document the talented individuals around us."
(AWEH info                 ...web...facebook...twitter...vimeo...                         )
     The event was held at a small and very intimate artist collective called The Laughing Tree, located in Noksapyeong. I've walked by this collective so many times and was really glad to be checking it out. The lovely Mipa had some of her beautiful pieces featured in the AWEH launch party!!

LOVE! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

eee! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

      Mipa's paintings are so lovely and colorful! I am always blown away by how creative and awesome some of my friends are! Inspiration- motivation- drive!
     Several times throughout the night I grabbed coffee and fell upon a secret gem! Located next to Wing Bakery is Standing Coffee! The americanos are reasonably priced and pretty yummy! Big coffees, strong smooth and ugh~~~3,800W!!! I got about 3 last night....I'm not ashamed.

Standing coffee! (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     We spent the remainder of our evening kicking it at the Concorde, chatting, laughing, and eventually popcorning it up to Forks Over Knives (a film that examines and explains that most degenerative diseases that afflict people can be controlled and sometimes reversed by living Vegan)

....nothing beats spending time with those people in your life that you admire, respect, and genuinely care for. 

I've realized even more so that spending time with these people inspires me and brings a genuine joy...I'm not pretending!

PS~: look out for some Gluten-free goods to be freshly available~~ ^^*!~ (and other vegan goodies kids)

신당동 떡볶이 타운 (Sindang dong Dduk Boek-ki town) and RENT

     Last week has been a shuffle through time. I've been all over the place since the week began and in so, I was able to explore some new (and old areas).
     On Wednesday a few friends and I went to see RENT, but before that we went to Sindang. Sindang is an area renowned for it's Dduk boek-ki, a classic kid's dish (equivalent to mac'n'cheese). If you don't know what ddok boek-ki is, wander the streets playing all over Seoul~ those glutinous sticks of rice are simmered in a 고추장 sugar sauce along with fish cakes and veggies. The stew is rumored to be more "flavorful" and "tasty" due to some magic sauce mixture. Every place lining the street is some sort of restaurant and the one we went to is called "I Love Sindandong" 아이러브신당동. This rumor seems to ring true "I Love Sindandong" was PACKED!

the menu (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     This place offers a lot of options. You can throw in loads of veggies, fishcakes, cheese, ramen, etc. I personally am not a ddok boek-ki fan~ at all, so I didn't nom on any of this but my friends seemed to really love it! They ordered the kind with some ramen and what was served to us was not only ample, but affordable.

before (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     The dish was cooked by us, for us and quickly the sauce started to thicken up and we ended up having a massive postion of cakes and spicey sauce.

after (photo taken by VeganBeats)

Directions: Sindang station (line 6 and line 2). Get out exit 8, take your first left and walk straight until you see a big lit up sign that says "신당동 떡볶이타운"
아이러브신당동 Restaurant in on the right side
phone #: 02-2232-7872

     After we wandered over to see RENT...

the RENT poster (photo taken by VeganBeats)

     The last live performance I went to was "Grease" and judging by these two theatrical performances, Korea does shows well! Rent deals with homosexuality, AIDs, sex...things generally not acknowledged openly here. I was surprised by the accuracy of the performance. Seeing homosexuality displayed so openly (even though it's scripted) was relieving. 

We got our tickets on with a coupon so we dropped 35,000W...tickets are a bit pricier (try 70,000W) but...GO!!!

Some Ol'Vermont Finds...

     These are some really old shots I got of my VT home...man I miss it there.

changing (photo taken by VeganBeats)

rest (photo taken by VeganBeats)

in the distance (photo taken by VeganBeats)

breathe. release. (photo taken by VeganBeats)

lit-closure (photo taken by VeganBeats)

These were taken with a point-n-shoot at Lake Champlain in Burlington Vermont...