My parts have grown rather disappointed about things, loads of things throughout my past. When it comes to the nature of things to how business works, and in terms of people and their level of common sense I've felt a fair share.
Friendships, more so sisterhood...I can't wrap my head around the dumb shit girls pull on one another. (girls being children) Now, being a girl isn't bad, when we are girls ladies, we are naive, hoping for the best, expecting Aladdin and Eric to save us, woo us, and treat us so well that we serenade green pastures and temples. Every guy, boy is a Disney prince or Lloyd Dobler. There's this assumed trust with everyone, no one will hurt, harm, take advantage of, or pull a quick on one you. And even if they do, some genie will show you how truly good they are.
Where am I getting at~ there's an assumption, a dissociation and disbelief that it is possible to fall victim to horrid events. The classic "That would never happen to me" thought. I wish, ugh I wish this was true, that for everyone (focusing on ladies here) would never be victim to violence, physical, mental, sexual..any of it. But that sadly and regrettably is not what is happening.
It is existent throughout the world, some countries have more supportive legal systems and cultures than others. Sadly though, even with this support, coming forward and getting a "healing response" isn't as common (as it should be).
Aside from the legalities, more intimately consider those you surround yourself with. Are they careful, protective, team players, good friends?
The dating scene in Korea is more or less forced awkward room blending between you and your friends and a group of guys. You share drinks, sing, talk, whatever. It's not just for dating, but to meet others too (you're a guy, I'm a girl...wait, we can be friends too?!!). Males and females don't interact one on one, or as friends. It's so couple focused here that genders tends to stick with one another. It's like a middle school dance, cootie central; during that slow song, you can bet that no one's going to dance until they're some fruit punches deep.
Ladies, in this situation, in these events, don't leave your girls high and dry. It is NEVER cool, smart, or safe to just peace and leave one of your girls alone with new "friends" (cough strangers). It's risky, disrespectful and the "What could happen" thought is a load of childish bull. Be a friend, be a sister, stop being stupid and choosing to be naive. I'm not saying every man will do something horrible, but leaving a friend alone with people you barely know, and welcoming riskiness is such a shit move. At least let them know what you're doing.
This is one situation, but there are so many. Don't leave your friends, if you're to meet with them, made plans, etc...stick around. Keep them posted on what you're doing. It is a big deal, it is important to protect yourself and to be aware.
I'm not saying something will happen, or that everyone will be assaulted, just realize that it could happen, and does happen far more often than we'd like to believe.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Loving Hut: Hannam
On Sunday Sean, Kia, and I tried to hit up Garobee but UGh~~it was closed!!! So we ended up going to the Loving Hut in Hannam. ...
The interior was cute, and so quiet. We ended up nomming alone!
I really enjoyed the wide open windows...
The menu is not listed with loads of offers, there are staple plates like 비빔밥 (bibimbap) and 킁가스 (donkas). It's small, so for something quick and cheap, this place doesn't disappoint. I think if I was hoping for more options, other Loving Huts would be the go to's.
Kia and Sean are so knowledgable about loads of things, but they also know about what's worth nomming on and not. I went with their recommendation and got the 순수채 킁가스 (soonsuchae donkas, 5,000W) which is a flaky fried soy meat patty served with rice, pickles, sweet potato mousse, and a salad. I'm not for fried things usually but this was pretty good. It was crunchy, flavorful, and paired well with the tomatoe sauce it was served with.
Sean went with the 쌀주물럭 쌈밥정식 (Ssaljumuloek Ssambabjeongsik, 8,000W).This was mirroring 불고기 and came with loads of greens and 반찬! I gave Sean my rice because...eh you know!
The time for 빙수 is ending...I didn't indulge on enough of it! We grabbed one of these and ugh, what have I been missing out on! The blend of sweet fruits, pillowy 떡, crunchy ice flakes and sweet beans...I don't care...I'm making it an Autumn staple.
The food as always is inexpensive, satisfying and tasty. If you want more options, stray from here...but worth the wander!
Map this out to find it (desciribing is proving more complicated)
Address: 2F, 657-92, Hannam-dong, Yongsan-gu, Seoul
Phone#: 02-3217-2153
part of the interior (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
I really enjoyed the wide open windows...
cute view (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
Kia and Sean are so knowledgable about loads of things, but they also know about what's worth nomming on and not. I went with their recommendation and got the 순수채 킁가스 (soonsuchae donkas, 5,000W) which is a flaky fried soy meat patty served with rice, pickles, sweet potato mousse, and a salad. I'm not for fried things usually but this was pretty good. It was crunchy, flavorful, and paired well with the tomatoe sauce it was served with.
my plate (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
nom nom nom (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
pre-mix (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
post mix! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
Map this out to find it (desciribing is proving more complicated)
Address: 2F, 657-92, Hannam-dong, Yongsan-gu, Seoul
Phone#: 02-3217-2153
Thursday, September 29, 2011
hinting re-evaluations...worth deeply considering?
Where do I stand...what do I want, what do I not want?
verging weeps (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
These are questions loudly and more frequently storming my mind...I'm discovering more unsettling things about myself...ones I've pushed aside or at least have aggressively tried to shove into back corners.
As strong as I (try to be) am...this tough skin is easily ripped. As straight faced as I attempt to be...tears press forward faster than a hateful (and protective) stare.
Korea has been...good. Reflecting over the past moments I've been here, I am grateful, thankful but the bluntness and lack of sensitivity many people claim Koreans harbor hasn't hit me until recently. I've come face to face with the blunt remarks and no matter the "trying" comfort from others...it's a stabbing fork swirling the intricate brain twistings. External confirmations of the internal screams...as shallow as this sounds: I wish I smiled when I looked in the mirror. I wish I was as confident as I try to sound. Damn, this may be vulnerable.
I'm not the only person feeling especially sensitive...women seem to experience this far more than our fellow men. So much critique and focus on our "flaws", our bodies, our qualities.
My friends...ugh...they so often talk about their insecurities, vocally criticize fellow women and...I try to understand whether this is just what "girls" do, competition, vocal self-reflections of personal worries,...beyond that, no, more personally~ it ruins my mental state. I hear my fellow ladies talk about another's outfit, how they feel too old, chubby, etc...it FREAKS me out. I start reflecting heavily, and deeply into what they must be thinking of me. How I am right, my inner fears are all correct...I want to live in shadows. Their concentration, and light chucklings of who's looking worse (that competition of 'no I look worse' 'no, I do') causes my parts to bury all of me into an all around negative state. I don't want to get so much attention on it...but...I'm reflecting that with some individuals...I feel worse. I feel horrid, disgusting, and like collapsing. Their insecurities, whether legitimate, true, or trending-strongly and very highly influences my personal distaste. (I'm not alone on this...I'm human~ deal) I'm discovering that in order to see something resembling self-preservation...maybe I can't be around these people. Or maybe I need to leave when I start hating on the self (louder than the usual buzzing dissociation)
I'm not saying their selfish, they aren't...but, we're all sisters. We get enough shit for our physicalities and "idealistic" traits...I try to be beyond them, disregard them...but I own up to my hypocrisy~ as beautiful as women are, as strong and fierce as we are...as strong as I know I am: I feel like the ugliest person around-
I wouldn't want anyone to feel the way I do. So even though I am being hypocritical~ women, learn to love yourself, and in that stop hating on your sisters.
It kills me...it is killing me.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
sketches....playing....reconnection
I want to reconnect with productivity. I've always been artistic but lately (since I've been here) I've barely kissed it. I've done writing, and have even played with sound, dabbled in premature photography but sketching, scratchboarding, painting~ where have they gone. Tucked away deeply in old passions, hidden amongst all the other things I've dissociated from.
I've reassigned myself to daily "5-minute sketches."Soon enough, I'll get more into production...
I've forgotten how much I've missed it. Granted, the followign images aren't very well done, they're quick and lacking a lot. Practice...practice...practice~ attempts
I must work more on people...
I've reassigned myself to daily "5-minute sketches."Soon enough, I'll get more into production...
I've forgotten how much I've missed it. Granted, the followign images aren't very well done, they're quick and lacking a lot. Practice...practice...practice~ attempts
weasel magic coffee (illustration done by VeganBeats) |
Hamlet (illustration done by VeganBeats) |
Andre (illustration done by VeganBeats) |
overwhelmed with love (illustration done by VeganBeats) |
Ugh~ shaming
Monday, September 26, 2011
AWEH art show
This weekend was...loaded. The first night proved...disappointing to say the least. I went to an old area and...was slapped in the face with mediocrity. I am aware this sounds cold, and rather critical, I don't mean to sound hateful...this is reflective. I need to do me more.
I have been reviewing what I've been doing here, who I've been kicking it with, what I've been involved with, etc and there are many changes I've got to do. Re-evaluating moves...I have some wonderful activities and people, undeniably so, but there is more I need to be doing.
Anyways, Saturday morning was AWESOME! I went over to Noksapyeong to steal some oven time over at Kia and Sean's place while playing with their adorable cats and pups! We ended up spending the day together and just kicking it. I learned some World of Warcraft from baking goddess and dear friend Kia, got introduced to Jersey Shore (O_o#), engaged in thought-required conversations and had an all around wonderful day.
Kia whipped up some power packed smoothies that I have been thinking about since first sip!
I LOVE kale, LOVE IT! And Kia threw a BUNCH of that awesome green leaf into a strawberry and banana smoothie. I have't indulged in a smoothie in...jeezum, years! This reminded me that getting a blender would do me well! After baking and chilling I stopped by home only to shower and return for an Art Show!!
AWEH was having it's launch party and the plan was to kick it there! AWEH is: "...a subculture webzine that documents creative culture across the globe. We aim to capture casual creative culture and document the talented individuals around us."
(AWEH info ...web...facebook...twitter...vimeo... )
The event was held at a small and very intimate artist collective called The Laughing Tree, located in Noksapyeong. I've walked by this collective so many times and was really glad to be checking it out. The lovely Mipa had some of her beautiful pieces featured in the AWEH launch party!!
Mipa's paintings are so lovely and colorful! I am always blown away by how creative and awesome some of my friends are! Inspiration- motivation- drive!
Several times throughout the night I grabbed coffee and fell upon a secret gem! Located next to Wing Bakery is Standing Coffee! The americanos are reasonably priced and pretty yummy! Big coffees, strong smooth and ugh~~~3,800W!!! I got about 3 last night....I'm not ashamed.
We spent the remainder of our evening kicking it at the Concorde, chatting, laughing, and eventually popcorning it up to Forks Over Knives (a film that examines and explains that most degenerative diseases that afflict people can be controlled and sometimes reversed by living Vegan)
I have been reviewing what I've been doing here, who I've been kicking it with, what I've been involved with, etc and there are many changes I've got to do. Re-evaluating moves...I have some wonderful activities and people, undeniably so, but there is more I need to be doing.
Anyways, Saturday morning was AWESOME! I went over to Noksapyeong to steal some oven time over at Kia and Sean's place while playing with their adorable cats and pups! We ended up spending the day together and just kicking it. I learned some World of Warcraft from baking goddess and dear friend Kia, got introduced to Jersey Shore (O_o#), engaged in thought-required conversations and had an all around wonderful day.
Kia whipped up some power packed smoothies that I have been thinking about since first sip!
I LOVE kale, LOVE IT! And Kia threw a BUNCH of that awesome green leaf into a strawberry and banana smoothie. I have't indulged in a smoothie in...jeezum, years! This reminded me that getting a blender would do me well! After baking and chilling I stopped by home only to shower and return for an Art Show!!
AWEH was having it's launch party and the plan was to kick it there! AWEH is: "...a subculture webzine that documents creative culture across the globe. We aim to capture casual creative culture and document the talented individuals around us."
(AWEH info ...web...facebook...twitter...vimeo... )
The event was held at a small and very intimate artist collective called The Laughing Tree, located in Noksapyeong. I've walked by this collective so many times and was really glad to be checking it out. The lovely Mipa had some of her beautiful pieces featured in the AWEH launch party!!
LOVE! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
eee! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
Several times throughout the night I grabbed coffee and fell upon a secret gem! Located next to Wing Bakery is Standing Coffee! The americanos are reasonably priced and pretty yummy! Big coffees, strong smooth and ugh~~~3,800W!!! I got about 3 last night....I'm not ashamed.
Standing coffee! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
....nothing beats spending time with those people in your life that you admire, respect, and genuinely care for.
I've realized even more so that spending time with these people inspires me and brings a genuine joy...I'm not pretending!
PS~: look out for some Gluten-free goods to be freshly available~~ ^^*!~ (and other vegan goodies kids)
Sunday, September 25, 2011
신당동 떡볶이 타운 (Sindang dong Dduk Boek-ki town) and RENT
Last week has been a shuffle through time. I've been all over the place since the week began and in so, I was able to explore some new (and old areas).
On Wednesday a few friends and I went to see RENT, but before that we went to Sindang. Sindang is an area renowned for it's Dduk boek-ki, a classic kid's dish (equivalent to mac'n'cheese). If you don't know what ddok boek-ki is, wander the streets playing all over Seoul~ those glutinous sticks of rice are simmered in a 고추장 sugar sauce along with fish cakes and veggies. The stew is rumored to be more "flavorful" and "tasty" due to some magic sauce mixture. Every place lining the street is some sort of restaurant and the one we went to is called "I Love Sindandong" 아이러브신당동. This rumor seems to ring true "I Love Sindandong" was PACKED!
This place offers a lot of options. You can throw in loads of veggies, fishcakes, cheese, ramen, etc. I personally am not a ddok boek-ki fan~ at all, so I didn't nom on any of this but my friends seemed to really love it! They ordered the kind with some ramen and what was served to us was not only ample, but affordable.
The dish was cooked by us, for us and quickly the sauce started to thicken up and we ended up having a massive postion of cakes and spicey sauce.
Directions: Sindang station (line 6 and line 2). Get out exit 8, take your first left and walk straight until you see a big lit up sign that says "신당동 떡볶이타운"
아이러브신당동 Restaurant in on the right side
phone #: 02-2232-7872
After we wandered over to see RENT...
On Wednesday a few friends and I went to see RENT, but before that we went to Sindang. Sindang is an area renowned for it's Dduk boek-ki, a classic kid's dish (equivalent to mac'n'cheese). If you don't know what ddok boek-ki is, wander the streets playing all over Seoul~ those glutinous sticks of rice are simmered in a 고추장 sugar sauce along with fish cakes and veggies. The stew is rumored to be more "flavorful" and "tasty" due to some magic sauce mixture. Every place lining the street is some sort of restaurant and the one we went to is called "I Love Sindandong" 아이러브신당동. This rumor seems to ring true "I Love Sindandong" was PACKED!
the menu (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
before (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
after (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
아이러브신당동 Restaurant in on the right side
phone #: 02-2232-7872
After we wandered over to see RENT...
the RENT poster (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
The last live performance I went to was "Grease" and judging by these two theatrical performances, Korea does shows well! Rent deals with homosexuality, AIDs, sex...things generally not acknowledged openly here. I was surprised by the accuracy of the performance. Seeing homosexuality displayed so openly (even though it's scripted) was relieving.
We got our tickets on with a coupon so we dropped 35,000W...tickets are a bit pricier (try 70,000W) but...GO!!!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Some Ol'Vermont Finds...
These are some really old shots I got of my VT home...man I miss it there.
These were taken with a point-n-shoot at Lake Champlain in Burlington Vermont...
changing (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
rest (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
in the distance (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
breathe. release. (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
lit-closure (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
본죽&비빔밥cafe (Bonjuk Bibimbap: Well-being Rice Cafe)
About a week ago I read an article on Cnngo about Seoul's 5 best bibimbap places and one of them is a chain called Bon Bibimbap. There are over 126 branches all over the country and there are even some located in the US, Japan, and China. There's a place near my house that I had mistaken for being Bon Bibimbap! I checked the place out today to discover that it is 본죽&비빔밥cafe (Bonjuk Bibimbap: Well-being Rice Cafe). The plate design is the same, so maybe they're affiliated?
Anyways, the menu is decent and offers the classic 비빔밥 dishes, from the meat loving crews to raw preferred me! They specialize more on the 죽 (juk), a palatable soft rice stew consisting of veggies and other ingredients. You can get shrimp juk, veggie and cheese juk, veggie, etc. The 비빔밥 selection is varied, they offer tuna, pork 김치, 도토리밥 (dotori bibimbap!), boiled vegetable, and raw veggies. I went in hopes of some dotori, but they were out so I went with the 야채. The place was really packed so I decided to go with take out...not as pretty, and I'm thinking not as tasty.
They weren't very generous with the veggies. There were the classics involved though, shredded carrots, sprouts, cucumber, chives, purple cabbage, and green cabbage (I can't take anymore of it). The rice they spooned on the side had small yellow beans in it, which was cute, but...not a rice girl. I wish they had a brown rice option. Considering they were a bit busy, there were a lot of people working the counter and kitchen. It took much longer than planned to get this thing packaged up and on the go, I waited for over 20 minutes. People coming in after me were served first.
Anyways, the menu is decent and offers the classic 비빔밥 dishes, from the meat loving crews to raw preferred me! They specialize more on the 죽 (juk), a palatable soft rice stew consisting of veggies and other ingredients. You can get shrimp juk, veggie and cheese juk, veggie, etc. The 비빔밥 selection is varied, they offer tuna, pork 김치, 도토리밥 (dotori bibimbap!), boiled vegetable, and raw veggies. I went in hopes of some dotori, but they were out so I went with the 야채. The place was really packed so I decided to go with take out...not as pretty, and I'm thinking not as tasty.
야채비빔밥~ measly veggies (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
post mix (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
The 야채뱌뱜밥 came out to 6,000W (about $5.20). This would have been reasonable if there were more veggies. When I got home I threw in some more greens and steamed soft tofu...rice I can't eat very much of (if any) but for sustenance I threw in a spoon of it. The flavor was lacking, it was pretty boring. I added more 고추장 and was still disappointed. I didn't finish this...I won't be back. The wait was too long, the quality lacking...but for something cheap, this is more than affordable. Nothing is more expensive than 7,000W.
Location: 서울특별시 서초구 서초동 1572-15. (Seoul Teuk Byeolsi, Seocho gu, Seocho dong 1572-15)
Directions: Seoul National University of Education system (line 2 and 3) go out of exit 9. Walk straight for 3 minutes, take your second Right, it'll be on the corner diagonal from a 7eleven.
Phone #:02-525-2909
Website: http://www.bonjuk.co.kr/bj_intro_07.asp (in Korean)
서울특별시 서초구 서초동 1572-15
Monday, September 19, 2011
Autumn~
This morning I sprinted to work and had no time to double back for a sweatshirt~ Autumn has begun!!
The season of leaves changing, rebirth, a restart~my favorite season. I love every aspect of it. The weather is nippy, biting, teasing, things are dying and preparing to have a second (or thousandth) chance, the fashion is sultry, classy, and comfy; foods that are in season have an attitude, take up ground, own their space- Autumn is initiation.
It's a shedding and stripping of the past year, taking what you've built from the prior year and using those skills to continue. This is bold, I am Autumn. Last year I stripped myself of the family I have (and miss), the comfort (that was no longer there), deserted my jobs, positions, and starting beginnings and escaped the states to restart, rebuild, and re-enter a life.
This year has flown by...I've developed a lot of skills, learned a lot, and found new potential joys...
(I'm not endorsing smoking~ like the photo, and the colors)
I've almost been here a year...have met a wealth of individuals, experienced a lot more, challenged myself...challenged others...
I'm getting older...some ways wiser...still learning...still growing...still aiming to accomplish.
I'll be back...
The season of leaves changing, rebirth, a restart~my favorite season. I love every aspect of it. The weather is nippy, biting, teasing, things are dying and preparing to have a second (or thousandth) chance, the fashion is sultry, classy, and comfy; foods that are in season have an attitude, take up ground, own their space- Autumn is initiation.
It's a shedding and stripping of the past year, taking what you've built from the prior year and using those skills to continue. This is bold, I am Autumn. Last year I stripped myself of the family I have (and miss), the comfort (that was no longer there), deserted my jobs, positions, and starting beginnings and escaped the states to restart, rebuild, and re-enter a life.
This year has flown by...I've developed a lot of skills, learned a lot, and found new potential joys...
photo taken by VeganBeats |
I've almost been here a year...have met a wealth of individuals, experienced a lot more, challenged myself...challenged others...
I'm getting older...some ways wiser...still learning...still growing...still aiming to accomplish.
I'll be back...
Vegan Noms Stateside
A whole crew of people went to the states prior to Chuseok and for the first time since I've been here, I started missing (and wanting) to kick it stateside. People were piling back drooling at the mouth sharing stories of all the good home eats they've been having...and though I ALWAYS wish my crew was around (BG whaaa), I found myself wanting to kick it stateside for noms. While people spoke about pizza, cheesy Mexican fare, spicy salsas~ I was dreaming of vegan indulgences. Things I never, if ever bought in the states but would love to be available. Follow your heart vegan cheese, Annie's goddess dressing, LUNA bars~list list list. I spat an e-mail at vegan JK and he was more than generous.
He came back with a load of vegan goodies...
He came back with a load of vegan goodies...
chia seeds, Luna bars, nutritional yeast, dark choco chips, field roast sausage, vegan cheese, goddess dressing, and vegenaise! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
I got SO much! Chia seeds, Luna bars, Nutritional yeast, organic dark chocolate chips, Follow Your Heart vegan cheese and Vegenaise, Annie's green goddess dressing, and Field roast Italian sausages...O_o#
Chia seeds are a NEW thing for me, thanks to Born to Run, I want to incorporate these guys into my diet~ maybe placebo effect will naturally work alongside these and I'll get faster?!
As embarrassing as this is to admit...I met up with JK Chuseok morning, followed by getting the bad news )O: then wandered home, droned out to some Entourage and book reading, while nomming on a steamed sausage with Sriracha vegenaise and sipping on a massive 녹차 from 보성.
(If you have not yet had Sriracha ~cock sauce~ you are missing out...find some NOW and put it on EVERYTHING~~)
A belated thank you to JK~~
me still...
I am always growing, I am always learning...if either one of these discontinues, I feel I am not living or existing.
I am repeatedly surprised by how much I am learning about not others, and other people, but about myself. The past couple weeks I have really taken me time. Fully and completely healthily selfish. I've kept myself more scheduled and busy than usual (feels like home) and on "empty" times I've enjoyed being with myself, by myself. It hasn't been pleasant the entire time, there's been some pits I've faced, and old thoughts and emotions I've been able to explore~ but I feel better about it. Like I've done some work. I'm rediscovering who I am...I'm starting to feel a little bit like myself. I've gotten back into drawing a bit and also back into my cons and band tees.
As much as I love Korean fashion and adore dresses...I feel the best rocking cons and a band shirt. I don't have a curvy feminine body, I'm not rocking hips and buoyant breasts~ I'm a bigger/taller 12 year old boy. I don't hate it, I don't love it~ I accept it.
Similar to 12 year old kids, I'm passionate and ready to own my ground and show my power. I've been crushed, stabbed, and splattered, and am now very protected and guarded. I don't warm up to others (not quickly). I've made friends and connections with people here, several that I've hung out with several times, but in genuine honesty~ I don't feel very bonded. I care about these people, and want the best for them, undeniably so.
I am aware that I am someone that is capable of cutting others out before they can cut me out. I'm a little troubled as to how quickly (and easily) I do so. I'm not denying connection to several people, I do have those/that...when red flags fly up, when I'm uncomfortable or seeing vulnerability~ I scurry. Not a whispering sneak away...I sprint.
I may not know what I want, but I know what I don't want.
This me time I've been taking has been more than beneficial. I'm back to being creative, actively creative. I'm drinking more tea, sitting and taking my time to have a coffee...dreaming again.
I don't sleep well, haven't for years but the past two years have proved sleep to be nearly impossible. I wake up every hour or so, and this is over the course of three hours or so. An average night is bed at 3-4 am and "waking" up around 5-6am. Anytime that I have had any nightly thoughts, they've been eerie and generously unpleasant. I've had two dreams over the past three weeks, very lucid, realistic, (stressful) but good dreams. Dreams where I've been inspired to write more, draw something~ do something.
I'm learning that I'm still me...regardless of the muck- I'll be back. I'll be stronger. I'll be better.
I am repeatedly surprised by how much I am learning about not others, and other people, but about myself. The past couple weeks I have really taken me time. Fully and completely healthily selfish. I've kept myself more scheduled and busy than usual (feels like home) and on "empty" times I've enjoyed being with myself, by myself. It hasn't been pleasant the entire time, there's been some pits I've faced, and old thoughts and emotions I've been able to explore~ but I feel better about it. Like I've done some work. I'm rediscovering who I am...I'm starting to feel a little bit like myself. I've gotten back into drawing a bit and also back into my cons and band tees.
As much as I love Korean fashion and adore dresses...I feel the best rocking cons and a band shirt. I don't have a curvy feminine body, I'm not rocking hips and buoyant breasts~ I'm a bigger/taller 12 year old boy. I don't hate it, I don't love it~ I accept it.
Similar to 12 year old kids, I'm passionate and ready to own my ground and show my power. I've been crushed, stabbed, and splattered, and am now very protected and guarded. I don't warm up to others (not quickly). I've made friends and connections with people here, several that I've hung out with several times, but in genuine honesty~ I don't feel very bonded. I care about these people, and want the best for them, undeniably so.
I am aware that I am someone that is capable of cutting others out before they can cut me out. I'm a little troubled as to how quickly (and easily) I do so. I'm not denying connection to several people, I do have those/that...when red flags fly up, when I'm uncomfortable or seeing vulnerability~ I scurry. Not a whispering sneak away...I sprint.
I may not know what I want, but I know what I don't want.
This me time I've been taking has been more than beneficial. I'm back to being creative, actively creative. I'm drinking more tea, sitting and taking my time to have a coffee...dreaming again.
I don't sleep well, haven't for years but the past two years have proved sleep to be nearly impossible. I wake up every hour or so, and this is over the course of three hours or so. An average night is bed at 3-4 am and "waking" up around 5-6am. Anytime that I have had any nightly thoughts, they've been eerie and generously unpleasant. I've had two dreams over the past three weeks, very lucid, realistic, (stressful) but good dreams. Dreams where I've been inspired to write more, draw something~ do something.
I'm learning that I'm still me...regardless of the muck- I'll be back. I'll be stronger. I'll be better.
photo taken by VeganBeats |
Saturday, September 17, 2011
1.2 million in 3 hours!!
The bakesale was a success and thank you so much for the bakers and the supporters! There was such a wonderful (and FULL) spread of goodies and an awesome turnout. Cannot thank everyone involved enough for such a wonderful bakesale!!
How beautiful is all of this?!!
So much fun and~~~Mipa delivers her Alien's Day out goodies!!!
Check out her bakeshop~~
gluten-free and other vegan goodies (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
my gluten free treats! cowboy cookies, raspberry jam shortbread, and chocolate-dipped shortbread (photo taken by VeanBeats) |
my gluten free lemon drops and Kia's brownies and blondies! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
Mipa brought some of her wonderful and deliriously delightful Alien's Day Out goodies!!
from right to left: tropical bars, cocoa nib cranberry oat bars, chocolate orange biscotti, tropical biscotti, and thin mints! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
lemon pound cake, chcolate chip cookies, cranberry double chocolate chip cookies, oat bars! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
Fiona's mango cake, apple tarts, chocolate cakes!!! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
cinnamon rolls, chai cupcake, apple scones, pumpkin boscotti, cholate almond biscotti, blondies, and brownies! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
So much fun and~~~Mipa delivers her Alien's Day out goodies!!!
Check out her bakeshop~~
Don't Forget to Come to the Bakesale~
The bakesale for the Horn of Africa is tomm! Make sure to make it for lots of vegan goodies~
I made a BUNCH of gluten-free jazz~~ All organic and only some things contain nuts~
Here's some of what will be around!!
I've been baking for hours! It's been a blast and there are so many vegan goodies that will be sure to satisfy your eyes and tummy!~
Hope to see you tomorrow~~
I made a BUNCH of gluten-free jazz~~ All organic and only some things contain nuts~
Here's some of what will be around!!
rasberry jam shortbread cookies (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
mint brownies (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
lemon drops and chocolate shortbread (photo taken by VegsanBeats) |
cowboy cookies (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
Hope to see you tomorrow~~
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Just Reminding all of you!!
poster provided by aliensdayout |
This Saturday is a bakesale that will be chalk full of vegan goodies! Make sure to stop by and while eating some FABulous treats be helping a greater cause!!
(There will be gluten free jazz as well!)
Here's the facebook page!!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Happy 추석 to all~
추석 pronounces 'Chuseok' refers to Korea's Thanksgiving. It usually includes days of food preparation, lots of family time, and stuffing bellies.
This year...my family's 추석 has been cancelled.
It deeply frightens me that we age, that with each day, each second, we are getting older. Our bodies are weakening, our brains depleting...please send some love to my Harabagi.
again, hope everyone has a wonderful 추석!
This year...my family's 추석 has been cancelled.
It deeply frightens me that we age, that with each day, each second, we are getting older. Our bodies are weakening, our brains depleting...please send some love to my Harabagi.
again, hope everyone has a wonderful 추석!
Friday, September 9, 2011
I eat Sando...
To cure a morning hangover there are several ways to fix yourself up. Most go for greasy goods, more drinks, a call in sick~~I'm a big jug of coffee and liters of water. But once in a hell of a while, I need a loaded sando. But that's only when the pain is beyond intolerable. I don't let myself eat sandos ever, I have never been a sando gal.
I fell in love with the post drunk sando thanks to Spy's convincing and the glorious City Market back in Vermont. City Market is one of the largest coops in America and had a great sandwich bar that was super vegan and gluten intolerant friendly. For those evenings filled with more whiskey than I want to recall, the next morning was a groggy ordering of a loaded T.L.T. The vegan B.L.T, I would get smoked tofu, hummus, cucumber, sweet heirloom tomatoes, red onions, sprouts, frisee, thick chunks of lettuce, dijon mustard, and hot sauce (everything is organic huzzuh) thrown on organic whole wheat bread. Packed of nutrients, loads of texture, and a healthy hangover cure. Extended gut and all...I would get a goofy grin and the echoing noggin of mine would chill and instant curing ensued.
This morning was one of those days where I NEEDED City Market to be behind my house. But Seoul!! Going to school, all these food smells hit my face like a battleaxe and well getting sick at school is downright embarrassing...and not classy. This was my cure.
A thick slab of steamed tofu, then chilled, thick rings of organic onions, homemade kimchi, loads of organic lettuce, sriracha, and grain mustard. The bread isn't organic but meh...I can say I feel rounder, but I'm grinning like an idiot.
and....food....coma
I fell in love with the post drunk sando thanks to Spy's convincing and the glorious City Market back in Vermont. City Market is one of the largest coops in America and had a great sandwich bar that was super vegan and gluten intolerant friendly. For those evenings filled with more whiskey than I want to recall, the next morning was a groggy ordering of a loaded T.L.T. The vegan B.L.T, I would get smoked tofu, hummus, cucumber, sweet heirloom tomatoes, red onions, sprouts, frisee, thick chunks of lettuce, dijon mustard, and hot sauce (everything is organic huzzuh) thrown on organic whole wheat bread. Packed of nutrients, loads of texture, and a healthy hangover cure. Extended gut and all...I would get a goofy grin and the echoing noggin of mine would chill and instant curing ensued.
This morning was one of those days where I NEEDED City Market to be behind my house. But Seoul!! Going to school, all these food smells hit my face like a battleaxe and well getting sick at school is downright embarrassing...and not classy. This was my cure.
O_o# photo taken by VeganBeats |
so big! (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
I've got a busy weekend ahead of me (chocolate!)
Not just the weekend, the past two weeks have been jam-packed with things to do, people to meet, stories to hear, jottings to get down. I've been in between work and subway stations, bags draped around me...holding everything from cucumbers (thanks lunch ladies) to pens galore, to notebooks, to recordings. I love being this busy, I truly do. Being stressed out and productive is invigorating.
~makes me miss college~ (WHAT!)
Not my college, not at all, but going to classes, having a schedule full of deadlines, exams, meetings, rehearsals, shows...I miss it.
Meetings the past couple weeks have been involving not only great people, but either coffee or drinks. My diet has been...beyond simple and rich lately. I wouldn't say it was healthy, it's been nothing but coffee, alcohol, water, tea, and some treats I stowed in my freezer. While in Vietnam, I grabbed some organic super dark German chocolate, and they've been providing my body with loads of energy.
I got two types and they were both delicious. I'm not a chocolate fan but ginger and raspberry-cashew?!
The chocolate was super dark, so bitter and romantic. Both types were super delicious, and my taste buds were definitely welcoming this confusion.
Makes me think I should start liking chocolate?!
~makes me miss college~ (WHAT!)
Not my college, not at all, but going to classes, having a schedule full of deadlines, exams, meetings, rehearsals, shows...I miss it.
Meetings the past couple weeks have been involving not only great people, but either coffee or drinks. My diet has been...beyond simple and rich lately. I wouldn't say it was healthy, it's been nothing but coffee, alcohol, water, tea, and some treats I stowed in my freezer. While in Vietnam, I grabbed some organic super dark German chocolate, and they've been providing my body with loads of energy.
ginger chocolate (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
raspberry and cashew (photo taken by VeganBeats) |
Makes me think I should start liking chocolate?!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Puzzle cafe in Hongdae!
I all too often wander the streets on 홍대 in a drunken stupor, laughing with friends and soaking up the 소주 steamed streets. Always during the evening, and generally on weekends, I find myself in this area. Nearly every weekend, I state to myslef I won't end up there, but...it happens. 홍대 is a night thing, and a drunk thing. Without some drinks swishing in your gut, and a light hazy glow protecting your nose, the smell of drying vomit, mountains of trash, and rotting cigarettes is completely intolerable.
But yesterday I found myself there during the day. I know there are a lot of cafes tucked in the corners of these college streets and I found one accidentally that tickled my fancy. Cafe Puzzle!
As a kid I would spend hours spoiling my OCD tendencies by figuring out puzzles and reorganizing colors, by shapes, by numbers of edges, etc. I love puzzles, I like concentrating, focusing, and keeping myself busy. It's also a great way to keep your brain exercising a little bit.
This cafe is quaint and cozy! There are big windows that let in a lot of sunlight and big comfy love-seats. When you order a drink, you can choose from hundred of puzzles and just play around!
This cafe serves some food items, and I'm not sure if it is the most vegan friendly. I have to be honest, I was overwhelmed with puzzle options that my eyes didn't leave shelves...but there are some treats available to the vegetarian crowd! (cakes, muffins, etc)
I got an Americano and a panda puzzle, and went crackin. The Americano was nice, not very strong and a bit pricey (5,000W)! Regardless...I think it was worth it, the cafe is a great idea!
Location: Mapo-gu, Seogyo-dong, 345-7 3 cheung (마포구 서교동 345-7 3층)
Directions: Hongdae University station, line 2, get out at exit 9. Take a left and walk straight, you will see Man Studio, take that left and walk straight. Across from Primo Bacio Baci, Cafe Puzzle is on the 3rd floor!
Phone #: 02-325-3033
Cafe Puzzle blog (in Korean)
And just like that...홍대 makes me fall in love with it...
Oh...at night, I came back. >.<#
But yesterday I found myself there during the day. I know there are a lot of cafes tucked in the corners of these college streets and I found one accidentally that tickled my fancy. Cafe Puzzle!
photo taken by VeganBeats |
photo taken by VeganBeats |
photo taken by VeganBeats |
photo taken by VeganBeats |
photo taken by VeganBeats |
Directions: Hongdae University station, line 2, get out at exit 9. Take a left and walk straight, you will see Man Studio, take that left and walk straight. Across from Primo Bacio Baci, Cafe Puzzle is on the 3rd floor!
Phone #: 02-325-3033
Cafe Puzzle blog (in Korean)
And just like that...홍대 makes me fall in love with it...
Oh...at night, I came back. >.<#
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