It hit me the other night, oddly enough while watching "The Last of the Mohicans" (Daniel Day-Lewis) that it's Christmas...and this is my first one without my brother, mother, father, etc....I'm not even near my "homeland."
I actually started to get a bit sad, a lttle homesick perhaps...I will miss out on the traditions, the awkwardness, the stifled excitment of opening gifts...I'm going to miss all of it this year. It will not be as family oriented and monumental ad the past couple years.
Last year, I drove home, eager and awaiting Christmas...then China. Last year was wonderful, I had a wonderful Christmas gift awaiting me, a journey to get some grounding again and see him....
This year I am on the same side of the world..but not the same.
Anyway...not as much gift purchasing, more lost as of what to buy then sure of what to get. My cousin I haven't seen in seven years, what to get her...what do you get a Korean seven year old princess?
My emo and her family...they have everything. What to get that will not be offensive, or...embarassing.
Then there are the friends here...who do I buy gifts for, should I buy gifts....
I got a card from a student of mine today...and it brought me to tears. I was more than touched and...felt a bursting fondness, thankfulness, and overwhelming joy that brought on the love of Christmas.
Singing holiday songs in my head, I wandered through the school...eager to start my vacation...which has officially recently began.
Tonight, a disco Christmas party with the crew in 강남, tommorow a resort with Emo and family, then at night a 크리스마스 party...who knows what will become of this years holiday...
Or this vacation week...
start my missions, lose the excess weight, breathe fully, freely, and completely....
grounding myself again, rond 2....
a year ago I was in a different place...attempts to not allow those memories to become saddening ones....
메리크리스마스!!^^*~
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